To think life is more of a pain in the arse than it's worth

[CurdinHenry]

Another day another random assortment of hassle and pain

And this is pretty much the best it's ever been (ok the 00s were better)

Aibu to wonder why this is a secret truth?

I’m not in denial! Life is amazing and I’ve always felt incredibly lucky to have decent parents, a safe home, food and the other basics, an education and to live in the UK. I have a dull job , a small house and am single but feel very fortunate every day.
I could have been born in Afganistan under the Taliban. Or in hideous poverty somewhere.
I think to be born with good health and in the UK is like winning the lottery. I try to make the make the most of every day as so many are not as lucky. Millions can only dream of the opportunities we have here.

I get it OP. And I’m not suicidal. Sometimes you do just end up in a life that seems far more hassle than it’s worth. And that can be completely normal. We don’t all have to be maximising the most of every minute of every day to try to fight against that feeling. It is what it is. And shock horror PPs, sometimes or a vast amount of the time it’s quite shit. There are those of us who can’t change that at all. I’m firmly seated in the daily survivor of a shitshow position. It’ll most likely stay that way. Fuck all I can do about it. I’m not going to bemoan and detail why. No one should have to. Genuinely good for all you who have a great life. Don’t be a dick and use negative terms to berate OP. It is what it is, accept that people have a different lived experience from yours and don’t require your unasked “kick up the arse” responses.

My DH died 18 months ago, very unexpectedly. My whole life is completely different. We did a lot together. I used to enjoy cooking for us both. Now everything feels pointless.

They keep bringing children into the world because people get to a certain age and think "is this it? There must be more to life, better have a kid". Plus raising them kills a good 20 years. Then the cycle continues with the next generation. If life was so amazing no one would need to create a whole new being to elevate the boredom/give their life meaning, whatever. Parents justify it to themselves by gaslighting everyone that everyone normal loves life and if you don't there's something wrong with your brain.

But they ignore the fact that saying you wish you'd never been born or that life is terrible is massively taboo so no one would be honest about it even if they did feel that way.

Oh give over. You sound like a gcse drama student

@SquirrelGG Life is what you make it.

Well no, because you can be hit with unexpected events that make life a lot more difficult, or you could be abused by other people.

What a brilliant illustration of my point-thanks!

I really don't get this perspective.

I have had a spectacularly shit day. The chain on my bike snapped this morning while cycling to work. I got to work to find out we're likely not going to exist as a company in a month's time. The car is making a worrying noise. The cat tried to murder me. Dinner was minging.

But even on a shit day, the mars bar I had earlier tasted lush, as did the feel of the sun on my skin. I solved a problem in work I'd been struggling with for weeks, and it felt practically orgasmic. My book got to a really good point. I watched an episode of Firefly that made me feel warm, and cosy, like I was tucked under a blanket. I felt love towards DP, and DD, and DD said something that made me feel really proud of both her and me and DP as parents. I overheard a conversation between a bunch of 80 year olds that made me laugh like a drain. And walking home just now I saw a pair of legs that were almost a religious experience.

Yes, life is a series of repetitive, boring tasks that continue until you die. But the bits that filter down in between them are fucking glorious, and worth every second.

You do understand that to state that everyone that doesn’t agree with your pov is in on a conspiracy is a fallacy right?

Do you genuinely think every other adult you encounter is suffering silently and unable to voice it?

I’m sorry if your life isn’t enjoyable to you. I genuinely am. That’s really sad. But many people’s lives are. And they’re not extraordinary or purposeful. They just find fun and enjoyment in living.

Nailed it. ‘Serious taboo ceiling for candour’ is something I feel daily.

Do I think people don't verbalise any thoughts contrary to life being beautiful and amazing without fear of being labelled mentally ill? Absolutely-as evidenced by this thread already.

Eh? This post is packed full of people saying life is hard, it throws curveballs, sometimes it’s shit.

But we still are happy and love living.

Where are you seeing people insisting life is some kind of Disney movie? quote one post where someone has said this

accept it. Most people are broadly happy and enjoy their lives - even though it’s not always perfect. We have laughter and love and those moments where everything feels amazing.

LOL, good one.

I feel like you may be the first person to put into words exactly what i think of life. But, say it out loud and theres just concern or misunderstandings.

Edit for typo

Tell me more. I will shortly be 50!

Currently 59% to 41% in the poll agreeing with the OP though...explain that.

My life is lovely.

Despite my husband surviving cancer and my mum dying.

Nevertheless, I live in a lovely rural community and am sitting in total peace and quiet outside in the garden now having had a gorgeous day and theatre tonight. Now with a fabulous view of an inky sky and shadowy trees and looking forward to spending time in the garden tomorrow.

I take the positives where and wherever I can.

We don't sail through. We have the problems (often more of them), we just enjoy the living and don't whine as much 🤷

As much as i loved life as a child, and was incredibly fortunate to survive being born 3 months prematurely, I had my carefree, prime rude health years a decade ago. Since a head injury and post concussion syndrome before being injured permanently by an off label antipsychotic, and now perimenopause, life feels a slog, and the banal nature is very much enhanced.

(I guess all my reading of Camus' L'Etranger for French A'Level should have told me something...)

I find my glass half full moments in my children, the beauty of nature (birdsong is a favourite) and (ahem) chocolate 🍫 😆😳

Life is short. It's definitely not an easy ride for some of us, but I think the key is gratitude.

Life is indeed what you make it. I had a baby in 1999 and 1 month later my mother died. In 2004 I had cancer, and survived the brutal treatment, and then again in 2015 I had another primary cancer. More terrible treatment. But I am still here. I lost some good friends to cancer, and I remember them with fondness, and great gratitude that I survived. My useless husband (married 1997) left in 2020 to live with his "long-term girlfriend", (all my fault dontcha know) and finally in 2025 I managed to get my long awaited divorce. I take 20+ tablets every day to keep me alive. But I love life. I love it more now I am not carrying the mental weight of my ex. I discovered more spare money when I wasn't paying for the ex and now go to the theatre/opera/comedy shows every month. I get the cheapest tickets so far in advance that it is a surprise when yhe event comes around. My baby is now a grown-up daughter who is a friend and accompanies me to the theatre. I take pleasure in small things, and my cats make me laugh every day. My life has not, by any measure, been easy. But, and I simply cannot stress this more, I am still here, still (mostly) functional, not in great health, but passable, still enjoying my life. I don't concentrate on what I cannot do, but on enjoying what I can. Life is precious, don't moan it away.

Yes. Exactly this. Sometimes, we just are unlucky to experiences terrible things that make a huge impact on how enjoyable life is. But I think it is really dependent on the individual as to how they cope, in a positive or negative response. I guess high pain threshold, general outlook, financial support etc all make a huge difference too.

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

you and your people are lucky

At all stages of life, I have found the good stuff outweighs the bad stuff, but happiness is not a steady state, it's just something that happens now and then.

its not hard to really. Posts about feeling depressed will attract other depressed people to click on it and subsequently vote. MN votes are not a Nat rep on people’s feelings.

And honestly, my heart goes out to all of you who are struggling. Please do try and seek help because there’s lots out there. Life shouldn’t be a horrific struggle to find joy