To think life is more of a pain in the arse than it's worth

[CurdinHenry]

Another day another random assortment of hassle and pain

And this is pretty much the best it's ever been (ok the 00s were better)

Aibu to wonder why this is a secret truth?

It was the reason I didn't have children and I can't be the only one.

A lot of people wonder what the point is.

I'm nearly 60 and I have a great life compared to a lot of people but I don't want to live beyond 75.

I'm hoping it gets better in a couple of years time when I've retired for good. I am between jobs at the moment and have been off the past seven weeks and life has been so nice. No difficult people to deal with, no listening to people's woes all day. It has been lovely and relaxed , my time has been my own. If I didn't have to work again my life would be so different.

This is me too.

I have absolutely nothing to complain about but I can't ignore the news and not be aware that billions of people in the world are nowhere near as lucky as I am.

I think you can be happy in your life and still acknowledge the pointlessness of it all. It doesn't make me suicidal to note that the world, on the whole, would go on exactly the same without me in it although some people would miss me and me not being there would have a small impact on them.

Why the hell not? I am facing 80. Survived cancer, and am now sitting outside my campervan on a site in southern France, enjoying a hot evening, with a glass of rosé to hand. And many more such evenings to come I hope.

Now, I do think you're just trolling OP.

You have basically just asked mumsnet to explain the meaning of life. Lols.

Why don't we all top ourselves is just a variation of the same question, the same one that every philosopher has grappled with since the dawn of time. You haven't just emerged from a chrysalis and suddenly discovered a secret truth.

Everyone, at some stage, grapples with this question.

The answer is, we don't know. We don't know why we have developed a survival instinct that stops us from topping ourselves once we realise that we are completely insignificant. We don't know why all species, from an amoeba to a human, has developed the same instinct.

So, unless something has gone very wrong chemically in the brain, you are unlikely to ever be able to override that survival instinct, no matter how much of a drudge life becomes.

With that in mind, you have to choose to make the best of it. Objectively, not everyone is a wanker. If you are are attracting non-stop wankers in your day, you have to ask yourself why that is happening.

It is possible to enjoy life most of the time, even with non stop chores, if you accept you're going to be here anyway. I like the phrase "if you're not changing it, you're choosing it".

Oh dear OP you sound like you need professional help - either therapy, coping mechanisms eg CBT or a medication that will help you feel better.
No one should have to feel so unhappy and with such little hope for a happier future.

Being brutally honest, yes, life is mostly sh*t. I’m in awe of people who love life. I don’t know whether they’re lucky, or insensitive or just blessed with a naturally cheerful personality. Maybe it’s all three. Some people have a gift for happiness. They’re good at it.

Personally, I have found life staggeringly awful. It genuinely amazes me that people keep bringing children into the world. Are they in denial about the reality of this horrible sh*t? Have they never watched anyone get old and ill? Or die of cancer or dementia? Have they never worked a boring, stressful job? Didn’t they go through puberty and bullying? There is a sort of conspiracy of silence about how horrible life is. Just as there is a conspiracy of silence about hard marriage really is, or how awful it can be to raise children. We have to pretend life is great or we’d all give up and everything would fall apart.

You see, I agree with you in principle. I'm grumpy by default and just everyday life seems ridiculously hard to me. I completely resent the drudge too and often think life is not worth living. But whenever I really think about killing myself, I realise that despite not really wanting to live I really dont want to die either. Way to put yourself in an impossible situation!

So I figure I'll be dead soon enough anyway, that is a given, so I might as well get as much joy out of life as I can, even if it is precious little . Well that is what goes on in my head anyway

I'm sorry you feel that way. If you tell yourself that life is shit, my God it will be.

Life can be hard for many but id like to think there's the odd ray of sunshine.
Life is worth it probably because I'm not a fan of the alternative.

My life was much better I was younger, I know it will be great again. Being in midlife with kids and other responsibilities is relatively bullshit, but it’s part of the ebb and flow

Mate. Not everyone feels like this. There is no conspiracy. We’re not all pretending, however much you want that to be true. I like my life. A lot. I’ve loved having my child. My marriage didn’t work out but, meh, that’s ok too. Feeling so down isn’t the norm.

In the words of Robbie Williams....

I don't wanna die
But I ain't keen on living either

Well it's one or the other, and while we're here we might as well make the most of it

You are making an amazing observation for which I thank Jesus who said: we are not of this world and are citizens of Heaven and the life we live now is just a prelude for the real life in Heaven

People who say that life is objectively shit have something wrong with them chemically, I think. It's an imbalance in the brain.

The pointlessness dies not bother me in the slightest. Why is there any need for a point to life? I'm alive. Life is good. Food. Music. Nature. Friends. Partner. Child. Work. What do I need a meaning or point for?

Yes. There’s an awful lot of depressive illness on this thread masquerading as ‘that’s life.’ It’s not. And I’d urge all of you feeling like this to get help

Of course there’s no point or meaning. Why would there be! So live life and have fun!!

I think it sounds like you need a higher purpose...whether that's spirituality/ a job that gives you a huge sense of purpose/ volunteering/ something that gets you feeling like your life has an important purpose

I love the south of France and have had some wonderful holidays there. Very jealous!

But that's the funny thing I have always found in my life.. I have weeks, sometimes a few years of unhappiness due to life situations or awful things that have happened in my life. Then I have had the best years ever, achieved things and felt genuine happiness. It's a rollercoaster for me, but the high bits of your life really make you feel glad to be alive and keeps me coming back for more each day.

Some people do seem to need that. I don't understand it myself. I'm very happy and fulfilled with no higher purpose than just living. But yes, maybe OP is someone who just does need this?

society needs people running on the hamster wheel to keep society together,

Exactly. As I said, the 00s were shit. For me.

The 1970s and 1980s were much better. No responsibilities, no debts, no bills, free as a bird, lots of friends, big family get togethers, really close communities, cheapers housing prices, a family could live on one wage, the glory days.

The 00s were NOT great.

So it's all subjective.