Question for the 'mellow yellow' folk

[Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice]

I'm well aware that I am going to sound like piss troll but a quick search of my history should prove otherwise!

I'm on holiday with inlaws, I have a tendency to get irritable when I'm forced into close quarters with others so am after an honest reality check from you all.

MN has taught me that lots of people don't flush their pee every time, especially overnight, for environmental reasons or because of noisy plumbing. Cool, I don't leave mine but I understand why people do.

AIBU to think that even if it's your normal family practice not to, you might flush more often when;

1. staying with other people who you are not as close to (i.e. not related by blood, have not shared a home before and in one case not met before)
2. bathrooms are absolutely tiny and anyone entering after you is going to have to manoeuvre around the toilet in order to flush after you so they can use it
3. you are unwell and your pee looks like tea and reeks

AIBU to also think that the lid should be closed on unflushed pee, so as not to let the smell fill the room?

We are all jetlagged so up and down at all hours of the night and I'm getting very sick of being confronted by the sights and smells of other people's piss, but happy to be told if I'm being precious.

Other possibly relevant info - I am the only woman.

I think you'll have to laugh, otherwise you'll cry.

What medical condition causes wee to turn brown and stink? I'm worried about that!

In your situation I would flush the moment I got in. Use the loo, then flush again. To make a point.

Up until this morning I've been uttering a loud UGH!, slamming the lid shut, flushing, going, flushing again, flouncing and muttering my way back to bed. This has had zero effect.

On the back of MN's shared outrage I've now had an extended whinge to OH. It's up to him to decide whether he'd rather an awkward conversation with his family or more flouncing and muttering from me in the coming days. I'm a pretty good flouncer so we'll see.

Fever (infection) plus being Gen Z and living almost exclusively on Monsters.

They need to flush the damned toilet. Bloody hell.
I live alone and flush during the night. I can't stand the smell of my own stale piss.

Erm. That's incredibly rude, unless you don't care at all about what your in laws think of you, given it's the first time you're meeting them.

I sometimes get urge incontinence and when that happens, I have to get in the cubicle and sit down on the toilet very quickly.

The only time I hate this is when the previous person has splashed the seat and not wiped it up. Having to sit in splashes of someone else’s urine to avoid wetting my trousers is not pleasant. But I couldn’t care less if the toilet still has urine or toilet paper in it. I’m not touching it, so it doesn’t bother me.

If I lived alone I would too, and when I'm alone I usually do. But I live with a very light sleeper who needs their sleep to do their job safely and I don't want to wake them up multiple times in the night. I do close the lid though!

Me too. Different if you’re at home.

I agree.

I generally have a chilled attitude to most things and I am not a clean freak either. However, stale strong urine smells and makes me a bit gaggy. I think it is a remnant of morning sickness many years ago.

I would be direct about it tbh and bring the conversation up over dinner. No point in hinting...

Kidney disease can turn your wee very dark.

I suppose it would be if they weren't sleeping through the whole performance.

That's the thing. The flush isn't noisy. The bathrooms aren't adjacent to any bedrooms. We all have fans going because it's warm. There is absolutely no need for anyone to leave their piss stewing overnight.

Sounds like hell. I wouldn’t want to confront my in-laws about it so instead I’d take the passive-aggressive approach. Call your DH into the bathroom every single time and get him to flush his family member’s piss. Hopefully he’ll get “pissed off” & have a word with them.

Major bugbear. I work in a public building and one of my least glamorous tasks is routine toilet checking and it boils my piss the number of times I find the toilets used with seats raised. It is undoubtably a male issue and why the heck they can't lower the lid and flush after peeing is beyond me.
At home my husband has been trained - visiting BIL has not, don't know how his wife puts up with it.

So either you want to wake everyone up so they know you're pissed off. Or you know it won't wake them up, and you're just doing it to wind yourself up?

Either way, life is too short. Maybe don't make enemies of your family the first time you meet.

Although I would question how you know you're not waking them up with your little performance, do you go into their rooms after and look at their eyelids?

Or could you buy one of those blue things that goes in the cistern? Obviously doesn’t stop them from leaving their piss on view, but at least it’ll be slightly less gross to look at.

I would rather use a toilet with some wee in it than be woken at night. I am a terrible sleeper, and if I am woken up after 2am I rarely get back to sleep again. We don’t flush at night in my house.

It's disgusting. I'm with you all the way. In addition I would put a load of bleach down the loo, just to emphasize how disgusting it is.

I don’t particularly like seeing other people’s wee in the toilet. And I don’t like the smell. But there’s no point in getting worked up over it. A quick flush and your trauma is over. The wee, whatever shade it happens to be, isn’t going to leap out of the bowl at you.

Mate you're a bit late to show up with the gotchas. I've already acknowledged, several times, that I needed and appreciated some perspective on the matter, and I've now said my piece to OH and put the matter to rest. Feel free to keep picking away but you'll be arguing with yourself from here on.

It sound like they are staying in a hotel, or similar accommodation.
When the housekeepers come round, they will be using bleach in the loo. You should not use cistern blocks and bleach at the same time. That will create a dangerous gas. The cleaners will see there is a block (by the colour of the water) and need to put their hands in the cistern to fish it out.

YABU to go away with people at close quarters when you already know you won’t enjoy it. Why do that to yourself! Get a hotel if the trip is really unavoidable or only holiday with people you can tolerate. I say this a similar type who values my own space.

I suspect others will have said it as haven’t RTFT but your comment strikes me as somewhat ironic, coming from someone so apparently brittle that you can’t tolerate or understand why some people wouldn’t want to hear toilet flushes at night.

I think at this point I'd yell very loudly

"For Fucks sake, are your hands painted on?? Can you not flush a fucking toilet, you filthy bastards"

every.single.time - including in the middle of the night.

They might be deaf/hard of learning, but I suspect they might get the hang of it.

Oh my gosh I bloody hate people leaving it to mellow! My husband and his family all do that. I find it gross. I would rather be woken by a flushing toilet than wake up to piss left in the loo overnight- yuck!!!