Question for the 'mellow yellow' folk

[Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice]

I'm well aware that I am going to sound like piss troll but a quick search of my history should prove otherwise!

I'm on holiday with inlaws, I have a tendency to get irritable when I'm forced into close quarters with others so am after an honest reality check from you all.

MN has taught me that lots of people don't flush their pee every time, especially overnight, for environmental reasons or because of noisy plumbing. Cool, I don't leave mine but I understand why people do.

AIBU to think that even if it's your normal family practice not to, you might flush more often when;

1. staying with other people who you are not as close to (i.e. not related by blood, have not shared a home before and in one case not met before)
2. bathrooms are absolutely tiny and anyone entering after you is going to have to manoeuvre around the toilet in order to flush after you so they can use it
3. you are unwell and your pee looks like tea and reeks

AIBU to also think that the lid should be closed on unflushed pee, so as not to let the smell fill the room?

We are all jetlagged so up and down at all hours of the night and I'm getting very sick of being confronted by the sights and smells of other people's piss, but happy to be told if I'm being precious.

Other possibly relevant info - I am the only woman.

This is not worth your emotional energy.

Just press the button and get on with your life.

Just because you are in the right doesn't mean you have to waste your energy on winning this argument.

For people that do this day and night does the toilet not get super stinky if multiple wees are just left? Part of flushing is to clean the toilet as well as remove waste after all.

also YANBU

It really isn't worth the stress if this kind of thing annoys you. Don't go on holiday with them again. You have your ways and they have theirs. It does sound gross though.

I think if somebody has been a non-flusher for many years it is a difficult habit to break. Ditto closing toilet seats. Re point 2, are you suggesting that you need to flush a dirty loo before you can use it?

1. Put up big notices and move them around each day
2. Can you earmark one toilet for you (and other flushers) to use
3. Shout "Oi, have you flushed?" at everyone coming out of the toilet (reminiscent of reminding small children to wash their hands)

It's fucking disgusting. What you choose to do in the privacy of your own bathroom at home is up to you. When sharing with others, it's grim.

This is the advice I probably needed, along with a big nap. Cheers.

(I'm very glad most of you agree with me though)

YA absolutely NBU

I’m picturing you on a yacht, OP.

Anyway, I’d flush the toilet if other people were staying with me.

At home, we don’t flush it after every wee because it’s quite wasteful and if you drink plenty of water your wee shouldn’t normally smell, except for first thing in the morning.

Have your own personal chamber pot under the bed then you don’t have to go into the toilet at all 😂😂😂

Would you rather be woken up every time someone uses the loo? Our guest room is right next to the upstairs toilet and above the downstairs toilet and our Victorian plumbing often causes loud banging from the pipes right below your head if you are in that room, when someone flushes either loo.
I wouldn't tell a guest to flush or not to flush, but I wouldn't flush if I had a guest in that room.

Is it not quicker to just casually say 'please can everyone flush the toilet after use' than it is to type a whole post asking strangers on the internet their opinion? I honestly wonder how some people adult. If you want it flushed, then you need to communicate this rather than expecting them to read your mind and know that it bothers you.

Urine is normally sterile, unless you have a urine infection. However, the toilet bowl will not be sterile, even if it has been flushed after every use.

I really think some posters horror at seeing urine in the toilet is excessive and illogical. I agree that seeing urine in places other than the toilet is gross though, especially if you step in it.

OonaStubbs
It's only pee. It's not going to hurt you.

Surely it’s unsanitary so could spread something? Especially if there’s a few people?

Fuck's sake. I'm staying with my inlaws, some of whom I have just met. There is some delicate family stuff going on which is the reason we're all together in the first place. Before I, the outsider (everyone else is related) dictate how everyone else should be toileting, I thought it wise to see if others have a different perspective on whether my expectations are reasonable. Turns out some do and I'm thankful for their advice.

How will it spread anything? Are you touching it?

Don't flush - at night, at home, just the family.
Don't flush - working from home all day by my self.

Do flush - any other circumstance.

Regardless of the rights and wrongs of overnight flushing, the lid should ALWAYS be down after use. I absolutely hate an open toilet, it makes me question the user’s sanity.

People who don't flush are silly and grubby. Nobody wants to be faced with someone else's pee staring up at them in the morning. If I came across that, I'd flush first before going and after I'd gone which would just cause more noise anyway.

It’s not sterile once it leaves your body.

If you are the only woman can you designate one as ‘ladies’, especially at night

This is something I really dislike. DH has his bathroom downstairs and visits several times during the night. He never flushes, ALWAYS leaves the seat and lid up and the door open. When I come downstairs this is all I can see on the way down - an unflushed grubby loo!

I would leave pee because I live on my own however I have a dog that likes to drink out of the loo even if she has a full bowl of fresh water. I'd not leave it for this reason. If I was staying somewhere alone I would. (When I decided to put my foot down and leave the loo seat down I was just woken up in the night to the 'bang, bang BANG' of her trying to get the lid up)!

However, I'd not leave it in this situation for reasons you mention. They obviously either feel more comfortable with you than you do them, OR they've normalised the habit to the point it has no exceptions no matter what!

I will say though, I have lived with other 'let it mellow' people and I haven't ever actually smelt pee, my own or anyone else's? It's so diluted by the loo water surely? Pee to me only smells once It's dried/been left a while or you were to stick your nose right in it for some reason ?

And to agree with a PP, anyone with pee that is dark enough to be (black?) tea, needs a kidney check!

Yes we always flush when there are guests. Only don’t at night because it wakes DH.

XenoBitch

How will it spread anything? Are you touching it?

Well I’m not!😉😅 I’d assume in the same way if you don’t clean people can get bugs (airborne), leaving pee might circulate something. Just guessing- it just seems unsanitary, and then sitting over someone else’s pee if you need to go yourself… I don’t know!

That sounds awful OP- I'm team flush in shared accom. If it's just you then do what you want.

I also think the lid should be down for every flush to stop anything going up into the air and going on towels or toothbrushes etc that could be left out.