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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No point in coming on holiday with children under 5

133 replies

choccakeE · 18/06/2026 10:11

I’m in Mallorca, paid £4.5k for my DH, me, 3 year old and 9 month old 4* hotel.

3 year old recently turned 3 and has this thing now about shouting/whinging about EVERYTHING. She rarely talks normally.

This morning we had breakfast, straight to the pool, screaming because I wasn’t being fast enough getting her swimsuit on, screaming because I was putting suncream on her then we get in the pool and she’s moaning and whinging that I’m not holding her properly or for whatever other reason like when she jumped in but didn’t warn me and her foot missed my face by a couple of cm.

9 month old is fine, happy playing with toys on sunbed, sleeping a lot etc.

but I don’t think I can do this again for another few years where she might actually stop moaning constantly (I know some is to be expected).

I honestly would rather just be at home right now, spent all of this money and I’m sick with envy at all these women laying by the pool with their kindles (light hearted, used to be me before I thought 2 kids would be a fab idea 🥴).

OP posts:
TheJoyousHiker · 18/06/2026 16:16

One hotel room and a pool type holiday is usually a recipe for disaster with children that age your children are.

ThisMauveTurtle · 18/06/2026 16:18

I always brought my 3 when they were small.
Mine were fine unless they were tired, so would be in bed by 8pm every evening.
If they were tired, they wouldn't eat, drink, play or do anything only fight with each other.
Mine aways needed 12 hours of sleep per night, or they would be walking round bumping into things.

She's probably just excited for today and will calm down later on.
Good food and good sleep kept my kids happy

hopingforthemillion · 18/06/2026 16:19

If it’s any consolation, the first 48 hours or so of a holiday I always find stressful with my kids until they settle down and stop being overwhelmed by the new environment/routine and also they seem extra tired from the travel, but have massive FOMO so refuse to nap/give in
Hope you’re husband is better soon so you don’t have to do it solo for much longer

80smonster · 18/06/2026 16:27

Nothing like a small child to poleaxe the holiday vibes.

HumphreyCobblers · 18/06/2026 16:32

BeSunnyLemonSheep · 18/06/2026 14:17

Yeah… I’ve never ended up in that situation precisely because I never let it get that far.

If you teach them boundaries when they’re young they aren’t a PITA at 3/4/5+.

The thing is with this, one has to start somewhere! There is nothing in the OP to suggest she isn’t handling it correctly, but actually handling it is still stressful. Behaviour modification doesn’t happen overnight. I remember once when my ds was screaming in the trolley because he wanted something he wasn’t allowed to have and I was dealing with the shopping and not giving in , a man tapped me on the shoulder and hissed “if I were you I would ignore that kind of behaviour “. I WAS bloody ignoring it! That is what ignoring it looks like.

My first ds didn’t start this until he was three. I didn’t have to preempt the behaviour before because he wasn’t doing it.

TheRealWhacker · 18/06/2026 16:36

Sorry but a villa holiday with young kids sounds utter shite. Having to shop for and prepare 3 meals a day, constantly supply snacks and sweep floors/wipe surfaces - no thanks! Yes you can eat out but dragging young kids to a local restaurant in a hot car is miserable IMO. Like being at home but with a less comfortable bed and having to drink local wine from thick glasses.

Luxury AI all the way!

FrenchandSaunders · 18/06/2026 16:38

We had a shit holiday abroad when our twins were 3 ... that must be peak arsehole age for holidays.

The following year we took a week off work and stayed at home ... went out to a farm, the zoo, maybe risked a lunch out but that had its issues at that age, and also had a couple of chilled days in the garden (we did it fairly last minute so knew the forecast was reasonable).

In the evenings we fed the girls and put them to bed, then got a takeaway with wine for ourselves, or a really nice ready meal from Waitrose/M&S.

I think we did that for a couple of years .. by the time they were 5 or 6 the holidays really improved!

They're adults now and they've both left home .... I'm prob looking back with rose tinted glasses sometimes ... I bet those kindle ladies are too!

Hope your DH feels better and you enjoy some of it OP.

PretendToBeToastWithMe · 18/06/2026 17:00

Somewhere like this is much easier with very little ones: https://luxuryfamilyhotels.co.uk

You still get the hotel/holiday feel but lots of amenities that make it easier and fun for children.

Judecb · 19/06/2026 18:27

This stage WILL pass! Can you put your daughter into a kids club? Failing this take time to share care with your partner so you both get a bit of 'down time'.

Shelleyblueeyes · 19/06/2026 18:38

Yes I agree holidays with very young kids arent a walk in the park!
Stick to UK breaks - sadly there's a reason why center parcs is so bloody dear - it works so well when the children are young. Or a proper bucket and spade holiday - so much easier.

Hope your hubby feels better soon btw.

X

Linencat · 19/06/2026 19:35

PrincessOfPreschool · 18/06/2026 10:23

Sorry about the moaning. I did have a DD who screamed (meltdowns) but I didn't allow whingeing (kids are not usually out of control when they are moaning) and just said they need to ask me in a nice voice. My boys were fine, no moaning or screaming. DD used to be very persistent in asking for things but at least she asked in a normal voice, I can't stand whining!

When DH is feeling better you can still have a nice time. Now must be v hard with 2 young ones though. Eyes in the back of your head! DD may be unsettled by him being ill.

Just enjoy not having to cook or other household tasks, and try to see the nice bits (easier said than done, but I'm sure there are some). I love coming back to clean room which I didn't clean!

Absolutely this
No I dont understand , speak nicely or we go back to the hotel , please and thank you also
Rinse and repeat

FlipFlopZebra · 19/06/2026 19:39

We’ve just got back from Croatia with a 2.5 year old. The first maybe 2 days were hard work but by the end we didn’t want to leave as we found our routine. I think the change in environment was too much for her initially. We also found having something planned for every day helped so we did aquarium, Dino park etc. when we tried a more lazy day it did not go well!

DoodIeBug · 19/06/2026 19:43

I use Loop earplugs to zone out the whining

BeSunnyLemonSheep · 19/06/2026 20:29

DoodIeBug · 19/06/2026 19:43

I use Loop earplugs to zone out the whining

Or you could just parent your children and teach them not to whine 🧐

LettuceAndCarrots · 19/06/2026 20:44

I love holidaying with my under 5! Before school started I took them to Butlins, Morroco, Majorca, camping in the UK and Corsica to take advantage of being able to travel in term time!

Our holidays aren't super relaxing for me and are planned around things DC will like. I also don't spend as much - our trip to Majorca was less than half your price. I find that the more I spend on a holiday the less I often enjoy it (ditto nights out) as I feel increased pressure and expectations for it to be amazing and exactly as I imagined, which it rarely is. Better to have low expectations!

It's rubbish that your DH is ill 🙁 I hope he gets well soon.

USaYwHatNow · 19/06/2026 22:16

We're very lucky and have quite close family that we are happy to spend a week + with, without wanting to never speak to each other again 🤣 so we've worked out pretty early that when going abroad we take grandparents, siblings, cousins etc. Appreciate not everyone is as fortunate though.

Bookbears · 19/06/2026 22:19

I’m a bit late to this thread, but get yourself to Haven and be done with it. I haven’t taken my 2 overseas yet as I can foresee this happening. UK holidays are so much easier when you have young kids and worse case scenario I’d just drive them home 😅

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 19/06/2026 22:32

My son isn't this challenging (at home or on holiday), but we still do holidays a bit differently.

We take time off before and after the holiday abroad, and have a few days off when he's in nursery after to actually decompress!

And we split our holiday time, taking solo weekends.

My husband has taken our toddler away for the night so I've had today off work and they won't be back until tomorrow evening.

choccakeE · 19/06/2026 23:11

Thank you all!

DH was fine by the evening of day 2 thank god, the migraine went as fast as it appeared. I did feel sorry for him, he felt awful leaving me with both kids but was laying on the bathroom floor vomiting into the toilet in the dark because the light was hurting his eyes at one point!

We are day 3 now and things are much better, we got a free upgrade to a family suite, we asked at reception if they had any bigger rooms as we didn’t realise wuiye how small the “apartments” were and they offered us it for free so now DD3 has her own room, us and DS have own room, spacious balcony, a small kitchen area so just having more space has chilled us out a little. DD3 very set in her ways, loves her room and bed at home, loves sleeping alone after a story and cuddles etc so being able to do this has improved her behaviour as feel like she slept better last night and tonight she was falling asleep at dinner at 17:30 so she was in bed by 18:30 and hopefully a good 12 hours will do her good.

When she was 4 months, we went to Portugal for a week in a villa, loved it, she was a super easy, sleepy baby so we had a great time.

We did Spain the following year, again, 10 months old, super easy and chilled, crawling but not walking yet, loved it.

Skipped last year as was heavily pregnant with DS in the summer.

This year?! I’ve been put off for life. It’s like overnight, she has become a stroppy teenager and we absolutely do correct her, tell her we cannot hear her or understand her when she shouts/whinges/screams, please/thank you and general manners have been from the get go of her talking and I could have full conversations with her before she turned 2. It’s like she’s forgotten all of this since she turned 3 and it’s like treading on eggshells around her because most of the time, she’s a lovely little girl, brilliant sense of humour, loves her books, shares beautifully with other children but she can change in an instant and she’s so
unpredictable, I won’t lie and say I’m not struggling with this because I absolutely am. I’m embarassed when she screams or shouts in public.

Both DH and I were lucky as kids that both of our families mixed city breaks with UK breaks with foreign travel but neither of us ever did AI with our families. We always had villas or apartments and would alternate days of exploring and then pool/more chilled and think this is the mistake we’ve made. Personally, we are not big drinkers so don’t use the alcohol of AI, it’s nice to be able to get breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks without thinking about the cost but we are tied to the hotel because of this, there is nothing cultural about it and I think we are more cut out for a mix of exploring and pool/beach days and want our children to experience different cultures and their people, their county, their food etc. so AI has been a mistake.

We live and we learn!

We love Devon so thinking of doing an Air B&B lodge near beach but also within walking and driving distance of activities next year then the following we are looking at booking Croatia, DD will be 5, DS will be almost 3 so can explore a bit and still do pool and beach days.

OP posts:
DoodIeBug · 19/06/2026 23:39

BeSunnyLemonSheep · 19/06/2026 20:29

Or you could just parent your children and teach them not to whine 🧐

Hell not my kids - other people's kids who are whining 🤣

Honeyhonay · 20/06/2026 07:28

You can still do day trips/ beach days/ explore the local area though. The money on the hotel has already been spent, you aren’t actually tied to be because they will serve lunch.

Many people still go out and do a few local lunches or dinners after a day out even when they’ve paid for half board or all inclusive.

pouletvous · 20/06/2026 09:09

kids club!!!

three is a crap age. She will be better next year and even better once you get past year R !

pouletvous · 20/06/2026 09:12

Dont forget she’s probably tired. Will she sleep in a pram? You can enjoy a few drinks whilst both kids sleep

OuEstLaPlage · 20/06/2026 09:31

holidays are hard work with kids are that little. Sorry you’re having a rubbish time

LittleBearPad · 20/06/2026 09:39

cheekynamechang3 · 18/06/2026 12:31

how do you stop your children from whinging?

You tell them to stop, that it will make no difference to what’s going to happen. They soon learn.