No point in coming on holiday with children under 5

[choccakeE]

I’m in Mallorca, paid £4.5k for my DH, me, 3 year old and 9 month old 4* hotel.

3 year old recently turned 3 and has this thing now about shouting/whinging about EVERYTHING. She rarely talks normally.

This morning we had breakfast, straight to the pool, screaming because I wasn’t being fast enough getting her swimsuit on, screaming because I was putting suncream on her then we get in the pool and she’s moaning and whinging that I’m not holding her properly or for whatever other reason like when she jumped in but didn’t warn me and her foot missed my face by a couple of cm.

9 month old is fine, happy playing with toys on sunbed, sleeping a lot etc.

but I don’t think I can do this again for another few years where she might actually stop moaning constantly (I know some is to be expected).

I honestly would rather just be at home right now, spent all of this money and I’m sick with envy at all these women laying by the pool with their kindles (light hearted, used to be me before I thought 2 kids would be a fab idea 🥴).

Its all well and good ignoring it a home but when you are surrounded by others trying to relax its not fair to just let your kid carry on screaming and whinging and doing absolutely nothing about it

I agree OP.

We did have one lovely, memorable holiday in UK with DC when they were both preschool.

But didn't even attempt going abroad until they were 8 years old.

Childen love familiarity. Why spend a fortune inflicting earache from flights, baking heat, strange food, less comfortable beds, very few familiar toys, odd hours on them?

Friends used to go abroad with DC and say it was great. But they always looked shellshocked not rested on return, and years later, admitted it was hell.

I love hotel or ai with young kids. Less cooking and housework

Agree it's zero fun. Went at my husbands insistence to get some sun, would much rather have holidayed on the British coast somewhere

We didn't attempt a holiday like this until kids were (just about to turn) 4 and 6. We went for cheap and cheerful 3 stars as I didn't want to spend 4k+ without being sure we'd all enjoy it. It turns out we did, and I'm now happy to spend that for 4 stars. I think your kids are too young for it and I'm in the centerparcs until they are older camp, I'm afraid.

My ‘whiny voice ears’ don’t come on holiday with us. I remind them this and then completely ignore anything whinged at
me - works a treat 😅

It really wasn’t that hard

Yeah… I’ve never ended up in that situation precisely because I never let it get that far.

If you teach them boundaries when they’re young they aren’t a PITA at 3/4/5+.

We found that 10 day holidays abroad were best for us. Much cheaper holidays than your though. We had 3 under 4.

First three days absolutely awful, then they settled and the week was fine.

We were another eurocamp family. Separate bedrooms plus living area, outside space for DCs to play. Even better when the decked area became more standard.

Unless absolutely baltic, all meals were eaten outside so no need to worry about spills. Self catering meant we could feed the children at a time and with food which suited them then DH and I would eat later.

DCs loved having a new playground to explore. We would do trips out in the morning (a market trip and castles). If we visited a city then we would do the tourist train tour. We would aim to be back in time for DCs to have a swim in the pool.

I dont think the total cost was much less than AI but as a style of holiday it worked for us. So much so that DH and I are on a eurocamp holiday now even though DCs are now adults and do their own thing.

Some children are more stubborn than others. I have a lot of experience of a lot of children.

Never went abroad with kids. Holiday parks all the way. We went with my DM and DF every year. So we had a bit of a break too. It was lovely and and not stressful even with 4 kids.

I've a 14 month old and a 10 week old, I'll be doing cottages and lodges at home for the near future. My 14th month old wouldnt sit still on a plane for love or money. Hope your dh feels better soon, op

The holiday park we went to was half board. So just needed a sandwich for lunch. No housework as room was cleaned every day if you wanted.

I'm in Mallorca rn with my just turned 4yo. I think being a parent down and having 2 kids is making this really hard for you, OP, though clearly you can't change the 2 kids! It's been bloody hot and they're all out of routine, but hopefully once your DH is better and they've settled a bit, it will be easier. And if you're in a hotel in Alcudia near the port then PM me and I'll come and bring my DD to keep yours company for a bit!

I have a friend whose 3 year old started tantruming on the plane to Spain and didn't stop until they got on the plane back 😂 she had ice cream for breakfast 5 days in a row so her poor parents could have 5 minutes of silence.

I think we get into a false sense of security at age 3 as they start acting more grown up but really, they are still very little.

YANBU and good luck, you'll survive to tell the tale.

Seen a lot of these threads lately. You’ll get mixed replies - my kids were great on holiday, mostly, but could be ungrateful/whingey/sulky in the odd day. We have a glorious picture of them both scowling at Disney, though the rest of the trip they were lovely. Multiple holidays involved ear infections and being stuck in the hotel room watching spongbob on MTV as it was the only english language channel with age approrpriate programmes. In fact the ear infection this was a 3 year in a row issue leading me eventually to persuade my GP to give me some ahead of the holiday so we could get started at the first sign.

On the whole, they have always been well behaved, good travellers, never kicked off… we didn’t take them on hotel holidays until they were 5/8 respectively and it wasn’t their first major experience of being away from home?

By the time we went on holidays they had spent weekend with the GPs, extended to a week. We had been camping with NCT friends and they had been with brownies/beavers (I went too though as a leader). The first 2 major trips were in villas with the PiLs so that they also had a sort of home from home with family. So, in essence, they had been gradually introduced to the idea of a holiday, in a strange place, stepping out of routine, away from their toys and the comfort of familiar things?

As adults we are craving a holiday precisely to step away from that - we want a change, we want to step out of the humdrum of of the daily routine - but for our kids, they haven’t developed that mindset. So I don’t think holidays with young kids are a waste, but I do think you need to build towards them so that they are not too much of a shick to the system. And so that adult expectations are also managed.

Sorry long answer. Not great at brevity.

Holiday trickiness aside, you need to correct her whining RIGHT now! She is learning how to communicate to get what she wants/needs. You need to teach her that whining and/or screaming is NOT the way.
Tell her you can’t understand what she’s saying when she screams, so she needs to use her proper voice.
Likewise, her whiny voice will not be listened to. Speak properly or mummy won’t listen.

I agree OP. We’re still in the trenches here and have only bothered when it’s a group holiday and there will be older kids (which my DS loves) or it’s something unavoidable like a foreign wedding. A week in the sun just for the sake of it does not appeal and anything more adventurous is impossible. I used to have great holidays before DS. 😭

@choccakeE a 3 year old likes walks, puddles, animals, bugs etc...

When DS was 3 we went to Devon and went rockpooling, some walks, some animal parks, and various other child outings. Didn't cost much as it was term time. We bought M&S food that needed very little prep. It was quite chilled and fun!

I think you've chosen the wrong type of holiday for your family.

Agree, 'holiday' with small kids is hard. Mine are always a bit unsettled in the new environment, don't sleep as well. I find eating in restaurants particularly difficult with my youngest, she doesn't sit still and is a fussy eater.
We have found renting a 3 bedroom air bnb/cottage/villa with a pool (or near the beach) best. And if in the UK just doing a shorter break or some days off at home visiting local zoo/farm parks etc.

My eldest is now 5 and it is getting easier.

Well yeah this is how it goes. Its an expensive lesson. We still wrnt on holjdays but made sure they had creche and kids clubs. Otherwise its easier and more enjoyable to stay at home with space, all your stuff and their proper beds and your living room, tv, washing machine, high chair, medical cabinet and everything else.

We’re just back from a week at a Eurocamp in Italy with a 4 and 2 year old, cost £1.5k. We had low expectations and previously have done the coast breaks in the uk. Eurocamp worked for us because lots of pools and great weather (the main reason we didn’t do uk again.) Went on boat rides/to a water park and ate lots of pasta and ice cream. It wasn’t a holiday in the same way, it’s still parenting just in another country but the access to pools was fantastic- kept them both entertained for hours. There wasn’t luxury but knowing it cost us under £2k meant we didn’t mind!

We generally do villas or apartments and tend to focus on easy access for what we want to do. Ie, went to Hawaii last year and stayed in an apartment/hotel type place and could order food from our Sun loungers. Beach was right there, good pool for DC. My parents also often come.

Skiing we would usually get a biggish cabin so DC had plenty of indoor space to play. Made sure to be right by restaurants so we could get takeaway easily.

We absolutely do long haul and go to nice places though, fuck this just put wellies on and splash in puddles. Grim.

When DS got to the stage where he need entertainment and a things to be a certain way we did a couple of haven trips to wales and Cornwall and we did A year of making the best of Merlin passes when he was a little bit older - London, Blackpool, Surrey.