No point in coming on holiday with children under 5

[choccakeE]

I’m in Mallorca, paid £4.5k for my DH, me, 3 year old and 9 month old 4* hotel.

3 year old recently turned 3 and has this thing now about shouting/whinging about EVERYTHING. She rarely talks normally.

This morning we had breakfast, straight to the pool, screaming because I wasn’t being fast enough getting her swimsuit on, screaming because I was putting suncream on her then we get in the pool and she’s moaning and whinging that I’m not holding her properly or for whatever other reason like when she jumped in but didn’t warn me and her foot missed my face by a couple of cm.

9 month old is fine, happy playing with toys on sunbed, sleeping a lot etc.

but I don’t think I can do this again for another few years where she might actually stop moaning constantly (I know some is to be expected).

I honestly would rather just be at home right now, spent all of this money and I’m sick with envy at all these women laying by the pool with their kindles (light hearted, used to be me before I thought 2 kids would be a fab idea 🥴).

Same for us. Both families live far away so we travelled with the kids from birth, multiple times a year so a 2.5 hour flight to Mallorca and a stay in an AI seemed easy in comparison to 12 hour flights that we also have to do regularly. Our kids are so used to jet lag, unfamiliar surroundings etc that it doesn’t phase them (now 2 and 4) but of course they can be a PITA on holiday just as they are at home sometimes. I realised once the first one started crawling that holidays would never be relaxing again for the next 10 years or so and try to manage my own expectations accordingly but I’d still rather be abroad in the sun on a beautiful beach than stuck on a grim beach or overpriced holiday park in the UK in the rain. My four year old has now been to around 20 countries and loves travelling and is able to talk about the places she’s been months later so I don’t think it’s a waste travelling with young kids even if it looks extremely different to pre kid travels.

Lots of sympathies - holidays are hard with young children. I have found that the first couple of days are really difficult and then we settle in to a bit of a routine and it gets a bit better. Fingers crossed that happens for you. Hope your husband is feeling better soon too

It will improve when DH is able to be there too and you’re not outnumbered. Hope that is soon.

We have 3 kids. Went abroad with first loads. Since we had more than 1 we only go abroad if littlest 4+ for that reason. It’s just not worth the money vs expectation!

Now all our kids are 5+ we can go every year and it’s much more enjoyable. The big 2 swim really well so one of us can now be poolside having drink/ reading for a bit.

A good test we’ve found in past is a trip to center parcs!! If you can both enjoy being in pool with the kids then you’re ready. If not, leave it another year 😂!! You can get cheap term time weeks or cheaper weekends in winter at CP (comparatively as I know it’s lots in school hols).

We had lots UK hols when little ones are around and just budget to eat out so it’s a break from cooking!! I really enjoy these hols and so do the kids. Still do these now too.

Hope it picks up for you x

It's pretty ridiculous people spend this much money on a resort holiday. We book ours 6 months in advance on Black Friday (May half-term) and it's always under 1500 quid, food included, 2000 quid with flights.

I agree we did centre Parcs or Cornwall when our were little and have nothing but good memories of family holidays. Our first trip abroad they were 10 and 7 and was fabulous.

Not really the point of the thread is it?

I booked mine last November for this August and it still came in a 5k. To be honest if it’s £2k all in it’s probably not a hotel or resort I would want to go anywhere near 🤣

We always went to Majorca when our children were little. Self catering is the better option for the future OP . More living space and eat out in the evenings. I hope your holiday improves .X

We’re currently on an all inclusive with our 2yr old. It’s been lovely! To be fair I think being one parent down is what’s made it really hard for you. Plus we just have one so easier to get a break. She’s loved every minute and it’s been really nice.

I loved our holidays when our kids were little - we had 3 under 5 at one point, and went abroad every year from their birth.

However, we always went self-catering - either a villa with own pool, or an apartment with terrace. We found this much easier than a hotel - easier to keep kids in their routine, provide foods they liked, nap whenever they wanted, we could sit by the pool/terrace in the evening once they were in bed. Easier to change them for the pool, run around safely in an enclosed place etc. We would hire a car and go for day trips, spend time in the pool, do some shopping (for me, food shopping abroad isn't much of a chore), eat in restaurants in the evening (Spanish restaurants particularly seem to love kids, and make a fuss of them), or do a BBQ at the villa/on the terrace.

For the first couple of days, they were generally a nightmare - over excited, over tired, out of routine, hot etc. But after a day or two, they settled, and we always had a great time. Yes, it's hard work, it's certainly not like holidays before having kids, but I look back with fond memories, we had lovely times, and am so glad we didn't wait until they were older. I can even laugh at the stress of the first couple of days now!

We didnt think the money and effort were likely to be worth it when ours were that little, so didn't go abroad. Other varieties of child are available, and I know some kids are fine with it, but I always thought it would go like your trip has.

Local and low key holidays at that age can still be loads of fun though. I have really happy memories of caravan parks and the like.

A moaning child in a expensive UK AirBnb where it’s going to p*ss it down 95% of the time and have you stuck indoors and if not you are spending a fortune trying to amuse the kids ….OR a moaning child in a sunny country with someone else cooking for you, wine and ice cream on tap? I know what I would prefer!!

This has probably been made ten times worse by your husband being unwell! And do whatever you feel most comfortable with but honestly I wouldn’t swap a holiday abroad for a staycation I personally would find that even more stressful. We really enjoyed holidays with under 5s. Sorry if I’ve missed this but direct flights and AI hotels are good at this age!

It sounds really difficult as your husband is poorly but I wouldn’t tolerate shouting or whinging constantly.
Speak normally or I can’t tell what you say.
If they are whinging they probably need a nap or to go in cool a/c or for a walk.
I’m on holiday at minute and so many parents are putting up with behaviour like children screaming not speaking or hitting them and parents don’t say a thing (or even notice as they are on their phone)
I’m not talking children clearly exhausted or overwhelmed it’s just their default and parents are tolerating it.

Yep. Went abroad with DD1 at 8 months and never again until youngest was 5. I’m delighted for the people who can actually enjoy it but for many of us it is all the usual challenges without any of the usual go-tos that help you cope. I found it better to accept holidays would never be the same again tbh, until they are grown. Then I didn’t find myself as disappointed.

It’s stressfull. We used to refer to holidays as “Drownwatch” because we couldn’t relax for a moment but now the dc are older, they’re an absolute joy on holiday and off. This Too Shall Pass.

Yanbu babies fine but that 1 to 4/5 gap absolute nightmares we've had holidays ruined by toddler tantrums never again

Following on from my previous comments teens can be a nightmare to depending on your teen one of mine was

£1500 during half term in a 4* AI including flights for a family of 4?

In this decade?

just think some of the kindle ladies would swap places with you in a heartbeat, your next holiday will probably be much better

Going to a villa with a pool is better with young kids imo. You can have a more relaxing holiday that way. Or just stay in the UK.

When you can put them both in a holiday club it’ll be better!!

this post is bringing back my awful memories of center parcs last year. I ate her banana and she screamed in the bike trailer all round sherwood bloody forest

Oh right. OK. well done to you then.

This! Until ours were heading towards age 10 we found that static caravan site holidays in Britain and France were perfect. Relatively cheap and even if the weather turned, they have enthusiastic young staff leading activities for all ages and if you have a shaped changing towel ( the type with closed sides and short arms and hood) they can wear that from the caravan to the pool and back again so that you can shower them at the caravan.

The problem isn't the holiday. The problem is that it's not the right type of holiday for your family.

You can't do the same as you did before. You have to adjust to doing things differently.

A pool holiday with very young kids. Hell.
A pool holiday with slightly older kids and other kids around? Totally different thing.

Your expectations were off and unrealistic when you booked this holiday.

Ha ha that reminded me of when I broke my son's huge cookie into two pieces so it was easier to hold and he screamed blue murder and "fix it, fix it" whilst trying to press it back together. I had also had the audacity to roll his sleeves up.

I have been on many UK holidays over the past decade and cab assure you it hasn't rained anywhere near 95% of the time.

I choose UK holidays with lots of things for thr kids to do (soft play, pool, playground, activities).

You can pile up your car with everything you need and off you go.

My kids also can't cope with hot weather... anyway, different strokes for different folks. Just wanted to say UK hols have been brilliant for us and not the grim picture you're painting.