Husband coming home pissed from pub

[Walesss7]

He’s been watching football down the road, is absolutely bladdered and has fallen into bed and sharted right next to me.

Luckily still clothed but I’ve sent him downstairs. What is wrong with these men? I am dreading the rest of the tournament, it’s a bloody Wednesday night and he has work tomorrow!

*they’re
I feel sorry for you then, sounds chavvy and utterly vile

Blimey your standards are rock bottom. Or do you not know what sharted means?

That’s disgusting OP.

Disgusting, I would never be able to look at someone the same again if they got that drunk they shit themselves

Sharmani 😁🤢

Are they really his best boxers when they'll always remind you of the time he shat himself? If you're lucky they won't survive a hot wash. They're about a tenner each/3 for 30, if he's paid more he's a fool.

@AutisticLass2026 you need to raise the bar off the ground

Losing control of his bowels could be a sign of alcohol poisoning.

I hazarded a guess what sharted meant, reading the posts, I guessed right.
Sorry OP, I would find it hard to forgive (much less forget) something so disgusting.
I think it would be seperate beds for life for me after that.😬

Unpopular opinion but the red flags say he has an alcohol problem.

Ewww my family all like a drink too, but ive never encountered anyone being so drunk they shit themselves! I mean, maybe a bit of wee if you cant make it to the toilet in time!!

Don't be silly.
The arsenic levels in cider are lower than in rice.
Stop making stuff up.
Apple pips contain arsenic to be sure, but then so do fifty million other ingestibles, in trace amounts.
If cider gets you dangerously pissed it's because it is alcoholic and easy to drink fast as it is intrinsically more palatable than beer, being sweeter.

I really don't know why some women put up with certain things. I would be gone (or he would be kicked out) early the next morning. No excuse for this kind of behaviour. It surfaces that women have been brainwashed for centuries (boys will be boys, soccer and drinks go together, etc etc)

I think there’s a difference between shitting yourself and being genuinely caught out by a fart

Agreed.

He”s a light weight, 6 pints and gets in that state? Should have just been warming up!!

They're not his "lucky" pair then?

Either way, they'd mysteriously find their way into the bin before they'd go in a washing machine that my undies get washed in.

Many men in your family drink to the point of shitting themselves? I'm pretty laid back but that's shocking.

How do you know he shat himself?

I think the best line of attack is not nagging and shaming him, but taking the piss out of him through the tournament. Every time England score and he gets excited say "careful, don't shit yourself with joy!"

I have been very drunk on many occasions in my life but I have never "sharted".

@AutisticLass2026 that really isn’t normal.

OP, have you ever wondered if DH has an alcohol problem?

Runs in the family, they certainly have!

OP - thoughts and prayers for the Armani pants, hope they pull through after the hot wash

I really hope you don’t have sons growing up thinking this is normal behaviour.

Men, alcohol and bloody football - an unholy trinity if ever there was one

Christ: how can you use “enjoying yourself” and “soiling yourself from too much alcohol” in the same sentence?

The things women tolerate in the name of holding on to suboptimal men never cease to astound me.

Yes - it’s a fact that domestic abuse increases during football tournaments.

If your definition of enjoyment is doing a wet fart you might need to get out more.