Told DP’s friend to F off

[Aprill24]

Was I wrong? DP’s mate held a house party for the England match. One of his friends approached me in the kitchen and said ‘nice legs girl. What time do they open’. I swore at him. He said he was joking. DP now saying he feels awkward. Was I OTT?

That isn’t something a
n autistic person would typically say “by mistake” and the vile male that said it is a sex pest and a dirty old man!

Nope you were in the right. That’s disgusting. Your husband needs to tell him that was inappropriate. Autistic people can’t just say what ever they like, they have to be guided sometimes.

Mentioned this to DH. Asked if it was said to one of our DDs what would you say. His reply. Smack him in the face. He also thought our girls would have smacked him- not sure they would. Reaction to autistic- bollocks.
I would be minded to dump partner as he sees it as being acceptable.

The friend is grim and even if it was a terribly socially awkward joke he should have been capable of understanding your upset and apologising (if he’s high functioning enough to be at a party like that without a carer).

your husbands response is troubling. Basically feeling awkward that you objected to being sexualised crudely by his mate at a party and thinking it’s your fault for making it weird? That’s misogyny and not something I would put up with in a relationship.

If your partner's friend is genuinely autistic, and has zero social awareness, then your partner would be doing his friend a disservice by not speaking to him. If his friend actually believes this is the right way to approach a woman with a 'compliment', then he needs telling that it's absolutely not.

I would tell your partner that he needs to speak to his friend regarding his behaviour, hell I'd be offering to go with him! Dress it up as in he'd be helping his friend not make the same mistake again!

Your partner will either agree or make every excuse under the sun not to speak to him!! If he's not interested in speaking to him regarding his comment, then I'd say it's a regular occurrence and the friend isn't autistic but a twat!

My husband would have gone nuts if one of his friends had spoken to me in that way. His ass would have been kicked out the door.

Reply that so were you.

But it was not joking, it was sexual harassment and you called him out on it. Good for you.

I think the "nice legs" is bad enough.

Op is his friend's partner!

But the other bit just vile.

Did he say to the same thing to his "friend" ?

It was in a mate's house actually. Not acceptable anywhere, but it was not at the OP's partner's house.

Your response was perfectly reasonable, I'd have done the same.

Nope, you were not OTT. They can both fuck off. Where do men get off? It’s not a compliment, it’s fucking degrading that we are continually objectified by these simpletons. It’s not a wonder there are regular posts here about what arseholes men can be. It’s not all men, but it’s always bloody men.

"Ewww what an ugly mouth you have. What time are you going to shut it? Hopefully before it's get's forcibly shut for you, you slimy creep. Do fuck off now".

You have a DH problem. Any normal man would be proud of you for putting his ‘friend’ in his place.

I think your response was good !!
He may think twice about using that line again !
If your Dp thinks that's a compliment he may say these things when chatting up woman they sound like absolutely pigs !!!

The people on here calling that a compliment! Are you really so desperate for the male gaze that you would set the bar so low?

If he was a genuine partner he would be telling his friend to treat you with respect. Bloody coward.

Totally unacceptable. It’s awkward because your ‘DP’ won’t hold his ‘friend’ to account.

When nobody laughs it wasn't a joke
what is, only joking
its 2026 not 1986 and yet men think this type of behaviour is acceptable, it shouldn't have been happening in 1986 and you'd think the next generation would have learnt this. Are men slow learners

Your comment was measured and proportionate. Hopefully his friend will think twice before he says anything similar to another woman.

You were not being unreasonable, a full and heartfelt apology or he never comes over your threshold again.

This. I woukd telling my dp to fuck off as well

Really? When is a sexist demeaning joke like that ever acceptable?

Your husband is a coward

You're always going to get some bellends who say inappropriate things, but your partner basically saying 'you should be thankful!' is a house-sized red flag.
It tells you two things -

1. he has no balls, and probably very little self-confidence so he's incapable of challenging stuff like this
2. he values women - and you - so little that he's absolutely fine with strangers making unsolicited sexual comments to you.

That stuff (assuming he's a grown man) is unlikely to change, so do what you will with that information.

How long have you been with this prince amongst men @Aprill24 ?

he is deluded if he thinks you should have been flattered

educate the MF once and for all and make sure he knows and ideally ALL his sleazy mates know that you DONT find that funny.