Told DP’s friend to F off

[Aprill24]

Was I wrong? DP’s mate held a house party for the England match. One of his friends approached me in the kitchen and said ‘nice legs girl. What time do they open’. I swore at him. He said he was joking. DP now saying he feels awkward. Was I OTT?

Umm. You have a huge dp problem. If he doesn’t live with you tell him he’s not mature enough to be in a relationship if he can’t respect his partner, and expecting you to laugh at absolute misogynistic crap like that.

I assume you mean as a single person.

WHAT COMPLIMENT?
if I called someone a nasty bitch and said it’s a compliment, does that mean they should feel good about it?

Course you weren't
Your husband should've said well done to you
And kicked out his freind
Shitty behaviour from both of them
I mean how does he expect you to feel comfortable 🤔

It’s high time that men held other men accountable for lewd behavior, which is what this was. The friend was disgusting and your DP isn’t any better. I’d be reevaluating my entire relationship.

The only response should have been for your DP to tell his friend he was massively out of line then leave with you. He should also have been mortified and apologized profusely to you for his friend's awful behaviour.

I would have laughed . You need to lighten up .

How is it a compliment?

And if he had grabbed your ass?

Christ.

A friend of mine had an incident when her DH brought a friend back for a nightcap after a game of snooker when she was still up, went to the toilet and the friend not only tried it on with her but complained when she told him to get lost.

Guess what the DH said when she told him later? Oh I'll stop bringing him round then. And she stayed with him.

What's wrong with men? This sounds like a bad joke from the 1970s.

No you're not wrong OP. I'd be furious.

I don't know what OTT means - I'm not even sure about DP, which I thought was for Dear Parent - but you were totally in the wrong.
The real question for me is: feels awkward toward whom - you or his crude friend"

Over the top.

Why should she?
Sounds like what men say 🙄

Ick. No, that is not a compliment. 'Nice legs' would've been awkward enough from your partner's friend. If there's any truth to the statement that he's socially awkward, you're doing him a favour by letting him know that that's not appropriate. Maybe he'll learn and not say something like that again!

Your partner should be annoyed with his idiot friend, not you!

They are both twats

Surely your DP would have felt more awkward if you’d laughed coquettishly and enjoyed the comment, or if you’d said “I don’t know, when are you free?” (also in a ‘jokey’ way of course) 🙄

Situation where you can’t win, OP, and highlights another case of men putting other men’s comfort first, proving that male approval and validation is the most important thing to them. You were unreasonable to inflict yourself in a male-bonding activity along with all the other females who should be gathered quietly in the kitchen discussing motherhood or weddings or fashion while preparing their men-folk refreshments. 🤮

How dare he tell you how to take it?!

Just bc he ‘didn’t mean’ to cause any offence doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to be offended! That’s like excusing the elderly bloke in the pub talking about ‘darkies’ or ‘trannies’ or ‘lezzers’ down the pub. He probably doesn’t mean to offend, it’s bloody offensive tho!

Good for you OP. It's time men learned that these comments that objectify us aren't acceptable. Your DH also needs that lesson.

You would laugh at misogynistic sexual harassment!!?? Really? Unbelievable! 😠

OP, of course you weren't being unreasonable. Ignore twats on here also suggesting you might be.

Your DP is also part of the problem. He should be pulling his "friend" up sharply on this and he hasn't. He even seems to be suggesting that you should see the joke!! He can fuck right off too.

As for autism being used as an excuse for this - no, it isn't. At all. My adult DD is autistic. It certainly would never occur to her to go around asking men what time they normally get their tackle out. Why should women put up with the equivalent from creepy men?

Oh look

If your DP thinks that what his friend said to you is acceptable you now know the level of conversation he has with his pals. And if that is what they say to women to their faces you can imagine how they talk about women, probably including you, when it's all guys together.

You can tell a man by the company he keeps OP and this doesn't say anything good about your DP.

It doesn't matter whether he 'meant' it or not, he caused upset and needs to apologise for it and never do it again.

Your husband should be embarrassed by his misogynistic icky mate creeping on his wife and have a go at him instead of implying you're the one making it awkward! What a sleaze! It's 2026 ffs ...apparently they STILL aren't getting it.

It's really simple: keep your hands to yourself and don't say shifty or creepy things to women (or anyone!)

My husband is not a violent man, I've barely ever seen him angry.

But I am certain that if he heard an invited guest say that to me, in our own house, he would have laid him out on the kitchen floor.

So, what is wrong with your partner? Why isn't he angry that someone has disrespected you so badly, but is instead embrassed that you stood up for yourself?

Tell him that if he really can’t see anything wrong with what his friend said to you then he can fuck off with his mate.

No it's not an excuse. I have two children with autism and can't imagine them saying anything like that,! My DH would probably be tempted to smack his mate if he said that to me. He would only feel awkward because his mate was being a twat.
Your partner should always have your back and I'd be feeling furious that he was basically taking his side over yours.

Years ago, they would have done. Standards have dropped massively. Chivalry is now looked down on, and feminism is partly to blame. People also seem to be more self centred these days and care more about themselves, and what people think of them more than anyone else’s hurt feelings.