Told DP’s friend to F off

[Aprill24]

Was I wrong? DP’s mate held a house party for the England match. One of his friends approached me in the kitchen and said ‘nice legs girl. What time do they open’. I swore at him. He said he was joking. DP now saying he feels awkward. Was I OTT?

Thoroughly disgusting response from your DP. How would he feel about the same comment if it had been made by someone to his daughter for example……..still a compliment, or something rather more vile?!

Just NO! Misogyny in full swing……..Autism is no excuse here

Vile comment, and your DP is being insulting to other people with autism who DON'T say shit like that. If my DP failed to tear a strip off someone who said anything like that to me, or support me for telling them to fuck all the way off, I'd suggest he moved out until he found some respect.

He should feel awkward... that his friend put you in that position but I'm guessing that isn’t what he felt awkward about.

Awkward??? Downright ashamed and embarrassed should be more like it. How awful 😳

I've never once lost out by judging someone by the company they keep.

Your partner is a nasty asshole whose friends are disrespectful assholes and they think it's ok to sexually harass women.

Your partner is cool with his buddies sexually harassing you. I don't know any man who would be cool with that kind of disrespect towards their partner, and especially from a friend. That's really, really not good. I'd be out of that relationship.

Really?

And when does it stop being a “compliment”? When he decides he wants a feel or a kiss? When he decides he won’t wait for you to open your legs from him? When he says the same thing to your 12 year old DD on the street?

Its verbal abuse and the OPs DP should be educating his “autistic” friend on what is & isn’t acceptable, this kind of thing isn’t btw.

Your partners response is appalling but does his friend regularly get away with other unaccaptable behaviours because of his autism?

It wasnt a joke. It was a pig of a man trying to push boundaries. Because what normal person jokes like that? Oh i will tell you sleazeballs and to your friends misses? Utter creeps.

I hate it when men back up each other's problematic behaviour. I was hit on pretty aggressively in front of my DH and he just thought it was funny. I was fuming. You were right to challenge that man. Dont let your DP convince you otherwise

I cant believe i have just read he has autism ... well thats alright then!! He can act like a pig and if you get offended.. its on you.

Actually ridiculous if he cant be around people without making comments like this then he should have a carer. I cant believe his friends wouldnt correct him tho. Ie no you can say that, thats really offence. Or do they believe the autism bullshit? And let me guess... its undiagnosed 🤣🤣

Your husband feels awkward? He’s a dick too!

I would ditch this partner in all honesty.

He said if it was any other friend he wouldn’t stand for it, but he can’t blame him too much because of his condition and he is prone to putting his foot in it.

@Aprill24 if no-one tells him that comments like that are a complete faux pas he is never going to learn though.

I am.pretty laid back and don't mind a rude joke/banter. But that is downright offensive and filthy to say as a joke let alone to a mates wife. He crossed the line. YANBU at all.
DH being a dick too

Not to mention its been shown that boys who are taught to be chivalrous end up being more sexist

So his friend made a misogynistic sexually inappropriate comment to you.

Firstly you were to blame because you didn't see sexual harassment as a compliment.

Then you were to blame because his friend is autistic so you shouldn't want to make him fell awkward for his own sexual harassment.

Then you were to blame for not justvignoring it and letting your partner ignore his friend's sexual harassment.

And now you are to be punished by being socially excluded.

Its your own fault for being a woman.

First rule of misogyny, everything is the woman's fault.

And your partner absolutely is a misogynist.

He’s a coward too.

I know loads of Autistic people one being my son and they would never say anything like that! that's just a shitty excuse. both your partner and his friend should feel awkward for his friend saying it and for your partner defending him and making excuses!

How old are your partner and his "mate", out of interest? By the total immaturity and vileness of the comment id imagine under 25. I'd be very shocked if they were over 40, although I guess age doesn't always stop males from being complete arseholes.

Awful

This. What was said was disgusting but your DPs reaction is worse (& I imagine he behaves in a similar way when you’re not around).

I know an awful lot of high-functioning autists and this really is NOT something that any of them are likely to come out with! I know that there are issues with not being able to gauge how someone else will take a joke, but a crude sexual 'joke' that relies on a sort of pun/allusion isn't really the sort of joke I'd expect an autistic adult to make.

ASD or no, I hope your DH knows this disgusting man isn't welcome in your house any longer. And if he thinks that sort of thing is a compliment to you, then what on earth has HE come out with to you in the past??

Interesting. My ex always made a fuss about walking nearest the kerb, giving seats up to women and so on.