Aibu to suggest alternative books to 12 year old DD when she asks to read something I believe is unsuitable for her age?

[Bettyberryburst]

My DD (aged just turned 12) is an avid reader and came home from school asking to read A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas. My first thought was that she is an author known for adult books. Apparently her English teacher used a quote from her book for a lesson and DD asked for the title. Her friend has read it and A Good Girls Guide to Murder, which DD is also asking to read. Am I being unreasonable to think DD should read some more romance/consent books before reading about sexual assault? Or am I being totally naive and it would be beneficial for DD to read about it to understand it and why it is wrong?

Weirdly I am ok with the murder/violence aspect as this feels so far away from day to day life for us. Swearing does not bother me one bit. She has read the Divergent series, The Hunger Games and Maze Runner books, fantasy is usually her favourite genre. I'm not totally against her starting on some young adult fiction but some of it feels too much for her. Am I being OTT to vet what DD reads or should she be allowed free reign now she is at secondary school?

Any recommendations also appreciated!

Too late to edit my post above but I see you were asking about non-fantasy teen relationship books! But I think books can show realistic relationships in a fantasy world - and obviously the reverse is also true.

Another flowers in the attic girl here. And clan of the cave bear. And Stephen King and James Herbert and mizz. Did me no harm whatsoever. I actually credit Jean M Auel with giving me the confidence mot to settle for mediocre sex from the age of 16.

My only issue with acotar is that they're just a bit....shit. but that's up to her.

Sorry I don't have any book recommendations for you (though it sounds like you've got plenty to be going on with! 😁), but if you open Common Sense Media in an incognito page, you can continue to use the site without the paywall coming up! 👍

I read some shocking stuff at that age, Let's Go Play at The Adams is seared into my memory decades later. Also a lot of dodgy occult stuff, Denis Wheatley and suchlike. Also the usual suspects Jackie Collins and the Flowers in the Attic series.
I've never sensored the kids reading and they seem to have survived.

Haha, I was just thinking this. Fourth Wing has as much, if not more, explicit sex as ACOTAR.

@Iarthar , A Clockwork Orange was written by Anthony Burgess not Martin Amis.

I never censored DD'a reading in practice, though there are a few things that if she had asked to read I might have said no (American Psycho? Most disturbing book I have ever read - made me feel quite shaken for a long time afterwards, and I am generally pretty resilient about things like that).

One thing I noticed that I wanted to respond to was that you said she is used to sitting out of conversations at school. So was I. And I never let on to my mom how much it hurt me. But oh my God, it did. I found the social exclusion I experienced, due to not being allowed to do the same stuff as my peers, breathtakingly awful. And I vowed never to put my daughter in the same position.

I am just saying be careful, as it is very clear you love your child and want the best for jee. f you protect her too much, you risk exposing her to other dangers, such as the bullying and mockery of her peers, which can pose a real and present threat, believe you me!

I think you may be confusing me with another poster.

Oh come on! the later books (and crescent city) are not far off 50 Shades of Grey!

There is sex in the first one as well, but not as much.

Throne of Glass has less and is much better *(in my view) and has some good strong female characters (Manon!!)

@Iarthar , am I?

I used to like the Anita Blake books, but they also went down the route of I have no idea what to do with my characters so I'll just write more sex scenes

• stoppped reading them

Aelin
Celaena
Manon
Maeve

All quite strong?

Looks right up her street, even if not set in reality. Thank you.

Yes this is tricky but I'm not willing for her to have a smart phone yet. She will get one at some point and I can't think of much else she can't do that she has asked to do (aside from the two books which she asked to read). I appreciate that a smart phone may be the main focus of teens lives at the moment. But she goes to friends parties, is starting to see them outside of school a bit, does clubs with them, we watched series she has asked to watch that her friends are watching, she's been on residential trips away we. And does scroll on Instagram a little bit with me every now and then. She also still likes spending time with her parents and her evenings are full of reading. I was bullied and tbh it was worse because my bully had my phone number and this was in the days where it cost 10p a text and no group chats so for me I'd rather hold off for another year or so.

We have talked about the books and ordered some others she likes the look of including another one her friend is reading. So that she can build up to the ones she has asked for, as I said she has mainly been reading children's books other than the series mentioned in my op. I am really grateful for all the recommendations.

Acotar is very graphic - absolutely not for a 12 year old!!