"When a man falls in love with a woman, he sees her as a goddess"

[SomeGarlic]

Post and run warning. I thought this was intriguing but haven't got the energy to 'host' a thread although I'll come back to it if other people are interested.

I heard it in a talk or something, then asked my male friends if it was true for them. They all said yes, including the gay one (in love with a man, obvs). I said that must be difficult and they all practically melted with relief at being allowed to say so!

Difficult because humans aren't gods, they turn out to be messy - and then the fall from the pedestal begins. I'd honestly thought this was a teenage thing, one of those loveable mistakes that get corrected as life goes on. My friends are all over 50, though.

I've been hopelessly in love and/or lust many times but, no matter how besotted I was, I've never seen a partner as more than a person. More than they were, sure, but I've never worshipped anyone. It must be horrid to feel that way and then be forced to try and readjust your perceptions or feelings.

If it's generally true, I'd say it explains a lot of weird male behaviour over the course of relationships. Is it an unreasonable statement, do you think?

I heard it in a talk or something, then asked my male friends if it was true for them. They all said yes

All of them? How many was that?

Not that many, maybe ten. It should be obvious I'm not claiming to have conducted a study! I'm interested to hear from other people too.

Not in my experience. My ex was a bit obsessed with me when we met, he was very young (we both were - early 20’s) and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I never thought we’d be compatible (different cultures, we came from different worlds) but eventually we got together. We have been split 15yrs and i’d say he will always hold a torch for me, and we get on well still and I genuinely do care about him as father of my children, but he definitely never worshipped me. In fact as time went on, he resented things that happened before we got together and started to plot revenge in weird ways. It caused the end of our relationship.

I’ve never had a man worship me, but i’ve seen relationships where it happens. I don’t think i’d like that, but it must be nice to know you’re someones no 1 and they put you first. All the men i’ve ever been infatuated with, have been pretty indifferent, and one who claimed undying love in the first month, then became a dick. He’s still lurking, 3.5yrs later, like he can’t fully let go, but is still sporadic with contact. I have pretty much been single my whole adult life, and have focussed on my kids. Even though youngest is 18 now, and I can date if I want, i’m so put off men.

My experience has been the ones who 'worship' you, at least at the beginning are the ones who end up stalking, doing creepy stuff, refuse to leave you alone and make life a misery. Blocking or grey rock don't work and it takes a blunt chat with the police to get them to cut it out.

Funny sort of worship !

There are two ways to see their behaviour, a) they are manipulative, nasty, selfish and in many cases just plain dangerous, or b) testosterone renders them incapable of rational thought.

I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume b.

What tosh! 😂

Need to know where you heard it- sounds a bit creepy manosphere-ish to me.

If this were true then it certainly explains why so many relationships fall apart when reality kicks in!

MN always gives a lot of reasons to look askance at men's behaviour and here is another one if it were true. Are they really that stupid?

My husband is like this and everyone around us tells me he worships the ground I walk on haha. 10 years, kids and houses later and we’re still both obsessed with each other so it’s working out okay for us!

It's just a silly phrase nobody actually believes their partner is god and worships them in that sense.

It happened a lot when I was a lot younger. Put on a pedestal as this perfect innocent thing and it got a bit creepy / stalky when I wasn’t interested. It why I probably started going for the Jack the lad types that weren’t like that. But as we all got older dating became more on an equal footing. Probably why it’s not a good idea to settle down to young. But yes I think a lot of young boys fall harder and faster at first and many can become a bit obsessive.

I was a bit like this (female) when I fall in love/lust I tended to have blinkers on and fall hard and it’s only when things settle down I start to see a more realistic picture. It’s the same with friendships too. This has led to me being treated quite poorly as I would forgive poor treatment as they are so amazing they didn’t mean it/are worth it. I’ve become more aware of it as I’ve got older (plus I’m in a 20 year relationship!!)
I had the same problem with jobs, I would love a job give 120% and then end up burnt out and resentful.

If they think she's a goddess why do they invariably start treating her like shit about 2 years in when they think they've got her tied down, and then progressively start treating her as badly as she will let him get away with? Never seen a single example of any long term relationship I know of going any other way but this. They are in love for about 1-2 years.

Yet they manage to get women to fall for it

I think the proof of the pudding is in how these men actually treat their partners. It's a bit like the "nice guy" who has convinced himself he's a prize when he's actually anything but.

I've only ever known one couple where the husband truly seemed to worship his wife. He ended up leaving her for someone else.

I have seen this and been on the receiving end of it. It’s actually not nice for the person being seen this way, they idealise a partner, put them on a huge pedestal, see them as something other than human and then when that human turns out to be imperfect and has actual needs/wants or has an occasional
off day, the other party becomes woefully disappointed that they didn’t live up to the false version of them that was created. Then they end up losing interest and scarpering.

God I would hate to be on the receiving end of being worshipped! I would run several miles!! 🤯

At 62, I can hand on heart say I’ve never had this experience…love, yes, care, yes, worship??? Definitely not!

I have seen it though…and it’s utterly suffocating to be around!

As PP have said, the men who display this trait are indeed the weirdly creepy ones…I’d go so far as to say they have personality disorders. It’s not normal OP!

I don’t think that’s true and I’m not sure I want to be a “goddess”. It’s all so smothering.

Like some others have said, the only men who have been like this with me, I've ended up having to call the police about one and be brutal with another.

This is why, at least in The West, many relationships fail. Unrealistic expectations of women wanting to be worshipped, treated like a Princess, bridezillas, told they are perfect and can do no wrong. Told they are Queens and should be fawned over and won. Waiting for the one, Mr Right and all that garbage. It’s embarrassing.

Reality is that women, just like men, are far from perfect and come with an array of attributes, positive and negative. A relationship is simply just a partnership where both parties get something out of the deal. Of course it can be very loving and intense but no need for all the Hollywood guff.

As an atheist, I'm not sure how you'd worship anyone 🙂 (quietly hides the shrine I've built in the corner to 'the one who got away' . Wafts away the smell of incense) 🤣

Sounds really annoying. Having to feel sorry for men about it sounds even more annoying. Goddess, Madonna, Whore. We're just people like they are so they should just stop it.

I'm struggling to see this as anything other than yet another way of excusing poor behaviour from men. I certainly don't feel any sympathy for how 'horrid' it must be - especially for grown men. I think worshipping people in that way sounds childish, a bit like most people feel when they have a teenage crush.

I don’t think it means that he thinks she’s an actual goddess. I’d take it more as willing and happy to go through the ups and downs of life together as a team. My DH thinks I’m a goddess even when I’m in my house coat with unwashed hair and mismatched socks.

😂😂😂🤣 yep

DDs boyfriend is like this. So sweet. They are both 17. Think he would literally take a bullet for her if he had to.