BF messed up meeting parents, gave excuse about it being intense

[Jasjasdance]

Things have been getting more serious between my BF and I so we have started to meet each others family. I met his mum last weekend which went really well, and he met my parents this weekend. We went for a drink and then a meal after.

He had a couple of drinks before meeting them (he said to help his nerves) and then two more at the pub. He was then drinking wine at the restaurant and was really tipsy. He then started acting up a bit towards the end. Just a few comments you shouldn’t really make when meeting someone’s parents for the first time.

We were discussing the city break we went on last month, and I said I wouldn’t return to that particular AirBnB. He said they wouldn’t let me back after the way I ruined the toilet on the last day (I was really ill, assumed food poisoning).

He made a comment about an ex, said they barely went out for meals because she preferred ‘scoffing’ takeaways so she didn’t have to leave the sofa.

My Dad is a big football fan so they were talking about the World Cup, and moaning a bit about the really late kick off times. My BF said the real winners of that are the local dealers.

My parents were polite in response but I could tell they were unimpressed. My BF says it was a really ‘intense’ first meeting going for a meal which is why he had more to drink than he should have done.

I suppose I have two questions…do you think there’s any coming back from this (was what he said that bad or not) and was this too an intense first meeting?

Get rid op. Or spend years apologising for his terrible behaviour..

🤮

He didn’t just joke about takeaways, are you slow? He brought up an ex girlfriend (that alone is inappropriate to a new spouse’s parents) then spoke badly of her by suggesting she’s lazy and greedy by only scoffing takeaways on the sofa.

You have as much social awareness as him.

And yet I’m the only person here who can answer the door without anxiety apparently.

That wasn’t the joke was it, he was putting down an ex. If you don’t have the comprehension, that’s a pity, but at least you wouldn’t have been offended.

Oh well its happend..he was nervous but why?
Are they a cut above the rest types?
I wouldnt worry about it.
Who are they to have to impress anyway
Red flags for drinking? Haha...probably would take a few myself for the typical meet the parents bs.
Hes a grown adult not a child..who cares.

She’s either really stupid or deliberately missing the point to deflect 😂

I’m not what someone anyone would describe as prudish or posh by any stretch of the imagination, I swear like a sailor and laugh at dirty jokes.

I may laugh at the toilet comment in front of a group of friends if I knew the subject would also find it funny, but I’d never say things like that at a meal in front of people I’d not met before and who wanted to make a good impression on.

I’d not try to humiliate my partner in front of their parents in the way he did and find it absolutely hilarious, and I’d not talk about my ex in such a disrespectful way. That says a lot about him.

I would dump him. He gave you a red flag and waved it and you said to him ‘are you waving a red flag’ and he said ‘no I used to wave one but not any more!’

He is revolting he is 31. References to drug dealers etc honestly he is TELLing you by his behaviour who he is

Yet again I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.

Bitching about an ex’s eating habits and laziness is disgusting behaviour.

When people tell you who they are, believe them

There are a lot of ‘my ex’ stories on here.

Ugh, OP, dump this loser. Your poor parents, thinking this twat might be in their lives for a long time.

i used to think my parents were being snobbish when they encouraged me to bring friends snd partners home to see them against their background.

now I really see thier point. I like going out, his behaviour starting with finding this experience intense and stressful and turning to alcohol in order to cope would totally give me the ick.

He would be an ex for me, I really don’t have any time for this kind of behaviour in my life.

You really can’t comprehend the difference between sharing ex stories on an anonymous internet forum, and to your new girlfriend’s parents that you’ve just met for the first time?

Are you being deliberately obtuse?

Oh dear OP. I would not be impressed if either of my DC's partners spoke in that way ever - never mind a first meeting.
In vino veritas I'm afraid - this is who he really is.

It was a really daft idea for him to have several drinks. Ons would have been enough. Just keep him away from your parents for a month or two. And no drinking next time they meet.

Hey, I can do it too!

Hairy knuckles

OP, he's low class and it just keeps seeping out.
His comment about your top was vile and that you continued to see him is not great.

Don't kid yourself. He's really rough.
At 31 he can't even meet someone's parents without acting like an arse.

I mean in nicely, but if you come from.a decent background and your parents are nice people, they will be appalled at the dregs like him.
This is who he really is.

This 💯

Good grief! Spraying your breasts!! Your parents will NEVER forget that comment. Crude and degrading. Throw this one back.

OP- you say you could tell your parents weren’t impressed, what have they said to you about him?

So glad I don't have to endure this level of people pleasing anymore. The meal was too much pressure. Keep it relaxed. Don't force people into things they're not ready for or don't feel comfortable with.