Why does barely anyone my age have kids?

[Quietterry]

I’m 25 and had my first young so she’s 9 now and yes I was very young having her but I’m no longer a spring chicken and looking at my cohort who went to school with me out of 200+ people I can count on one hand who’s had kids.

Im not judging them for it I’m just curious on what changed when my mother was my age practically everyone she knew had kids by 25!

I know there’s different theories on this and they probably all have some merit but I’m leaning towards thinking it’s phones. I heard recently some people spend 8 hours a day on their phones.

Times have changed! I'd given birth to 4 children before I reached my 26th birthday - and that was not unusual 40 or 50 years ago, although the trend towards later motherhood was already beginning in the early 1980s.

lol - I’m going to be very honest but I think I’d rather my 16 year old spend 8 hours a day on a phone than present me with grandchildren that nobody wants or is ready for!

Surely it’s money, property prices; unemployment/insecure jobs, cost of childcare and cost of living? Especially now many women have their own careers and want to advance then before having kids. I don’t know anyone who had a baby before they were 30. Why does it matter? There’s plenty of people in the world, it’s good people are making mindful decisions about having children

I had my first at 19, some of my friends from
school are only just having babies now at 35! Ones not even ttcing till after her wedding next year! Wouldn’t say phones are rhe problem.

Yes it's true that teenage pregnancies have declined since the invention of the internet so thats a good thing.

Also important not to be too old as a mum. Sigh, we can't win can we?

for me I wanted to enjoy being ‘free’ and travelling in my twenties, build up a career first, and buy a house and be a good way along the mortgage before having kids. Also to be sure I picked the right man to have kids with.

You were 16? Isn't that the answer?

I would feel that I had failed as a parent if my kids had their children before their late 20s!

I had my kids at 30 and 32 and no regrets. I hope my kids get to finish their degrees, do some travelling and have lots of fun before settling down. I want them to be financially independent and not rely upon a partner. I hope they establish good careers first.

There is every reason to wait a bit before having children.

I would honestly be worried someone was depressed if they spent 8 hours on their phone. I’d rather be myself and happy thank you

Had first at 35 and second at 40, I had better things to do than procreation in my 20s.

Oh you are a spring chicken at 25. Very much so.

Yes 9 years ago. I’m asking my why it’s been 9 years and still barely anyone has had kids

I think phones are probably a small part of it, but theres actually quite a lot of evidence now that the bigger changes are economic and social.

For example many people are staying in education longer, entering stable careers later, and many don't feel financially secure enough for children until their 30s because housing and living costs are so much higher. A lot of people also want to feel settled before having kids, and that milestone seems to come later than it did for our parents' generation.

I'd assume phones and social media have changed how people socialise and meet partners compared with previous generations, but not sure it's the #1 reason for the rise in parental age.

It's too expensive.

Are you serious OP? I feel like you've arrived in a timewarp from the 80s??

'I'm 25' and 'no longer a spring chicken' do not belong in the same sentence

Working middle classes can't afford kids in their early-mid 20's, just those who are super wealthy or on benefits.

Because you are 25? You are still very young.

I have children your age. They have spend years at university and one is in foundation training at NHS. They are busy with life and can't afford a suitable home and life for children and they haven't found a life partner yet. I think it's a very normal life being 25 yo not to try for children. I didn't either at that age and we have 3 anyway.

You think you're not a spring chicken at 25? I'm nearly 53 and still feel very young

I think it’s mimetic, in that having them young is just not the done thing at the moment and we are way more influenced by that than we like to admit – but also that that meme does come from somewhere, which is about pushing of education and careers as the big aspiration, which means that having a baby no longer feels like getting ahead in life, it feels like falling behind.

This! Would have loved to have had children in my early 20s but struggled to find a way to afford to!

To answer your question, women know how babies are made now. They did 25 years ago as well. So they know how not to have them. Because the vast majority of young women don't want babies at 16-25. They want them to have financial stability and a good future which is far less likely at that age.

I has gone back into full time education at 25 and was completing a post grad qualification.

How many people are married at 25? I certainly didn't want to have kids without being married first. I met who would become DH at 23 but neither of us were ready to get married or have kids.

I bought a house at 26 which would be highly unusual these days. In a rising price market in the early 00s that certainly seemed the correct priority. Then getting married then having children. I did it all by 29 which was earlier than my peers, not hanging about. Any earlier than that would have blown a hole in my life and would have been the wrong choice.

It's not clear why you think other people should make the same poor choice you made, OP.

Thank you I’m glad I still am considered one lol I just find it interesting that in our parents generation most people had had kids by now but in my generation barely anyone has