Why does barely anyone my age have kids?

[Quietterry]

I’m 25 and had my first young so she’s 9 now and yes I was very young having her but I’m no longer a spring chicken and looking at my cohort who went to school with me out of 200+ people I can count on one hand who’s had kids.

Im not judging them for it I’m just curious on what changed when my mother was my age practically everyone she knew had kids by 25!

I know there’s different theories on this and they probably all have some merit but I’m leaning towards thinking it’s phones. I heard recently some people spend 8 hours a day on their phones.

I am starting to think this post is a wind up. Seems surreal.

I guess I count as middle class now, but I'm from a working class background.

I can think of two people who got married at 19 and only one of them got pregnant straight away.

I recall that one girl at our school got pregnant at 16 and that was highly unusual in a coalmining area in 1975.

The girl and her boyfriend got married. I remember that we girls were indignant that the girl was expelled; her boyfriend was allowed to stay on to the end of term so that he could sit his "O" Grades.

Talking to someone else ovy

So far as previous generations are concerned, my mum (born in the mid 1920s) was 35 when she had me; my maternal grandmother (also married to a miner) was 22 when she had her first and it wasn't a planned pregnancy.

Oh of course. I am not criticising having kids younger at all. I'm answering the OP query re why people don't have them sooner. It isn't unusual in my experience for the sort of people I describe. But there's nothing wrong with having kids sooner or doing other types of work. Every contributor is important

I haven’t read the whole thread - but I think contraception like the injection/implant has probably had a significant impact too. When I was in my teens/early 20s those that got pregnant young rarely planned it. Having contraception you don’t have to remember to take every day takes away the user-error element which often led to unplanned pregnancies.

Financial reasons and the fact that both mother and father need to be financially able to house, feed and educate a child for twenty years.
Thus, one's career needs to progress.

Not meeting a like minded person.

Then, due to young people not being able to financially afford to buy a home they deviate to have fun travelling, knowing that buying a home will mean sacrifice for many years.

They don't need to - consistant contraceptives.
Longer life spans - they will most likely not die in their 40s so can have children in their 30s and parent into their 50s.
Smaller families - Allowing enough time to complete one's desired family now takes only a few years.

It's not just that women are having children later, less women are having children at all - fertility rates are declining. We probably don't need to speculate about the reasons for this as there is extensive research available on both topics. From a quick google, it seems there's some evidence that mobile phone use has contributed to reduced teenage pregnancies https://www.euronews.com/my-europe/2026/06/03/how-smartphone-use-is-linked-to-falling-birth-rates

It really depends on what circles you move in. I must be your mum’s age as I’m nearly 50. Not one of my friends had children before 30. Most were 35. None of us are grandparents, and none will be anytime soon. All professionals who did long degrees followed by long training programmes so very unlikely to have children by 25.

Not at all sure why phones have to do with it.

In the past having a first child at age 35 & over was recorded as elderly primigravida & extra precaution was taken regarding monitoring & birth plan etc. Today the qualifying criteria regarding age in first pregnancy is the same with the difference being the description now being recorded as AMA, advanced maternal age.

No, they didn't. It will be the socio economic group you were in.

DD is 25. Very few of the mums of the kids she was at school with had their children at that age. When DD was at primary school I went to quite a few 40th birthdays.

DD is a post grad student and is not yet settled at all.

I had my first at 20, had a mortgage, lucky enough to have paid 50% off. While I had my babies we still went to music festivals, travelled, I completely a doctorate. At nursery , everyone, bar one lady were early 20s and it was a nice area, this was 40 years ago, things have changed since then. For me, I am so glad I had them at that age.

Oh and have been with my husband for 43 years, the father of my boys.

Also some of my friends who have degrees had kids in their mid twenties. One of the things these friends had in common was that they were homebirds I have to say. Disliked travel and had no desire to live outside of our hometown and met partners from our hometown while young. Not saying all people who have kids in their 20s are homebirds but the ones I know are. Education isn’t the only factor is what I’m trying to say I guess .

25 is still extremely young to have children!

I was your age in the 80s and none of my friends had babies at 25 either. We had been to university (fewer did then) and were just starting out in our careers.

Housing costs, in the main.

People don’t feel financially secure enough.

Most of my school year had their first after 35.

You can leave at 16.

Interesting analogy & another perspective here.

I was fortunate to meet my future DH when we were both very young. We married straight after leaving university in the 1980s. We were in lovely rented accommodation at the same time as saving for a deposit on our first small flat. We had our first child at age 25 & 26. Our children followed the same path and we are now relatively young grandparents to children we adore. We never felt we didn't have the freedom to travel as by the time we reached mid 20s we had more than enough partying & travelling during uni breaks. We stay close to our family so regularly babysit which we love. I don't think mid 20s is too young to have children if you have met the person you want to spend your life with. We wouldn't change a thing & neither would our children who had their first in their mid 20s after leaving university & getting married. To anyone who says it's never a good idea due to missing out on fun, in our experience the fun in life doesn't stop when you have children they simply add to it.

I think it's sad if you think having children ruined your life. Children are the literal reason for living.

There is life outside children

Yes but it is so much more fun with children mine are young adults and my only regret is stopping at 2.

I have a friend who doesn't regret the child herself but does regret having two.

She desperately wanted two children, but has said if she knew what that meant for her life, she wouldn't have had the second.

She loves both her children and does everything for them, because she's an excellent mum. But she's still allowed to regret the choice she made that's impacted her life.

There have been lots of cultural shifts which contribute to women having children later. Young people are seen as children for longer, there are higher expectations of them getting qualifications and more live at home due to the cost of living. Much higher numbers go to university than there used to be. A lot of work was done to try to prevent teenage pregnancies, which have gone down in numbers.

Meanwhile the world opened up, gap years became more of a thing. Although I expect this could decrease now with the cost of living and less access to schemes in Europe. People generally settle down later, I think it can be difficult to get a mortgage etc.