To expect a snack when visiting someone's home for a few hours?

[Playdoughy]

Context matters clearly, so I will give some background.
We've been invited to friends' place who live outside of London (90mins car ride) and we agreed to come by over the weekend for a few hours in the early afternoon. The invite was not for an overnight stay but more of a housewarming situation - as in come and see how the place looks like (not for a group of people but just us visiting). They have been living in the flat for 5 months now, I am pregnant so couldn't take a trip during first semester due to sickness - now more up for it.
Anyway we had an early light lunch (luckily) and took off today to arrive after almost a 2 hour drive due to traffic. We had a lovely time chatting and stayed for around 2 hours (I literally had to leave and gave signal to my husband as I was starving to the point of being nauseous).
We got offered a tea upon arrival (drink, not a meal - to avoid any confusion) so I had a cup of tea -no biscuits involved.
I have to admit that on my way to the loo I literally stole a couple of crackers from an open bag sitting on a sideboard near the kitchen and I ate that in the bathroom (yeah...).
After we said goodbyes and went into the car my husband started googling for any nearby pub to have dinner - I advocated against in case they go out later, it would be super awkward if we stumbled upon them. So we grabbed some snacks in an off licence for the car and were on our way.
I mean surely as a host you have some concept of your guests travelling to see you and need to travel back - for us this would be almost 6 hours without a meal and I am pregnant.
I just don't get it. Even a box of digestives would have helped.
Maybe it's a cultural difference thingy, she is american he is scandinavian. Anyway aibu?

Sorry but I have no capacity to entertain fake friendships. We didn't feel like guests but more like an inconvenience - while, bizarrely enough, they were the ones insisting we must come and meet up properly!
I also don't need self-absorbed people in life, like many here who are exclaiming - 'get over yourself, what do you expect you were there for 'just' two hours or noone needs to feed you' - (as if this was about feeding me).
I also cannot waste my energy trying to explain things to people that have no capacity for empathy, manners or decency.
And unfortunately behaving like this these friends showed they fall under this category (like quite a few people in this thread who I could possibly not have a sensible conversation with - there is just emptiness in their heads which quite honestly is tiring for me). And to prove me right quite a few of the people here have established that they could not be friends with me either...so there you go - this is why there will be no next time. Not because I didn't get a biscuit. I got my biscuit in my car...
It's because we are not compatible people.

Do I sound like I care about something I do being a good look?
On the other hand I didn't know that accusing of trolling was against the guidelines - I will keep that in mind, thanks.

Can’t imagine inviting people over and not feeding them anything. That is just plain rude. At the very least tea and biscuits. If it is a planned visit then more like afternoon tea with some savoury and some sweet items. Some people have no manners or sense on how to host. I feel sorry for you OP. I cannot imagine allowing my pregnant friend to visit my house and go back hungry! I remember once hosting one of my friends when she was pregnant and she was sent home with all her favourite food.

Why would that be appropriate in the middle of the afternoon? I would hate that. It's rude to basically force people to eat, anyway.

I cannot fathom ending a friendship.. if it was a real friendship….over something like this. I wonder what your partner thinks of the whole thing. Your level of outrage is just so disproportionate… I suspect you might look back with a cooler head and be a bit embarrassed by the fuss you made .

You sound like you care about an awful lot of things that are trivial in the general scheme of things 🤷‍♀️

Given her attitude about her friends it probably is better that she stops being friends with them - far less stressful all round

If you were coming from next door I'd have offered biscuits but coming with a 3 to 4 hour round trip plus the time you were there, very weird they didn't think to offer a bigger snack. Or even just cake. Maybe cultural. Maybe just thoughtless. I think being pregnant id have used that to ask for something and id have definitely headed for the nearest pub.

@Allseeingallknowing I am GF with lots of other allergies and intolerances plus trying to lose weight so only buy exactly what food we need for lunches at work and our evening meals

That is fine but would you treat guests like this?! That is really odd. Unless on the poverty line I can’t imagine treating anyone like that. Even the gardener, cleaner, handyman etc is offered coffee/tea and cake at our house and they are regular visitors.

Maybe you are right...I mean, I will not block them or anything like that, I just won't be going out of my way like this to meet up or maintain the bond. I will just let the relationship take it's course...not having time to meet up etc...

My husband also said it was incredibly rude to make us feel like we should leave having empty cups sitting on the table after 40ish minutes... It took us longer to get there than the time we spent at theirs, and travelling is not exactly enjoyable for me atm.

Pregnant or not I would have expected something. I have never been invited to someone’s house for a coffee not even been offered a biscuit no matter what the culture they were from

That's a fair point. But I do not care about being liked by general population, got over that in my 20s - I was a full blown people pleaser back then. Just burnt out I guess and went all the way to the other end of spectrum...

If you said you were coming after lunch, I would have expected you to have had lunch, but I would have coffee and cake to offer.

Yes - rude - to invite someone and not offer food. I often ask now when someone invites me - what food will there be so I know whether to eat before I come

When someone drives two hours to see you, most people would make an effort to have snacks ready. If they just pop over with a few minutes' notice, that's different. In that case, I'd just rummage through the fridge and cupboards for staples like mixed nuts, cheese, or crackers.

I'm laughing so much at the way so many posters are twisting themselves in knots to show the OP in a bad light. Of course her so-called friends were not hospitable. Of course they should have offered a snack, particularly given how long you'd been travelling and you are pregnant. It's really bad manners on their part. I don't understand it - everyone knows that many pregnant women get desperate for food! Everyone knows that if you've travelled for two hours to get there and it'll be the same journey back then you'll want something to eat.

🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈 Really?

I put food out on a playdate - let alone hosting a housewarming for a pregnant lady. YANBU! I’d have had cake in and crisps/dips/olives, etc just on the table. And a better selection of drinks!
im also slim and ate at 6.30, 8, chocolate biscuit with a coffee at 11, 1, 3 and 5.30 today - fit as a fiddle too. So it seems i can go 3 hours max without food before dinner haha. I would definitely have felt sick every two hours pregnant and stolen the crackers too, would have had zero regrets!

No, it is expected by host and guest that something is offered.

Not everyone knows that.

Most people would have food in the car if they couldn’t last more than a couple of hours without eating. It’s not for the hosts to anticipate something that the OP didn’t anticipate for herself

Of course but the OP mentioned processed snacks and that’s what people tend to go for. I’ve never been offered a boiled egg or avocado at someone’s house but plenty of crisps, biscuits, cake etc.

Regardless of whether it’s processed or not, snacking is a new phenomenon and not very good for health over time.

Needing a snack isn't gorging, fgs. 🤦‍♀️

Biscuits at least are a requirement.

This actually popped up on Instagram today. Might explain the division of opinions on here.