AIBU to expect neighbours to move their barbecue away from our house?

[Tam182]

I'm just putting this out there for opinions! Sorry for the long post, I'm upset!

I'm no party pooper, people can have fun of course. But. Our next door neighbours bbq is against the wall, right by our house, about 1 metre from our house and right next to our conservatory (with the wall inbetween)
Over the years they have had many a bbq, the smoke and smell fills our house. Husband has asked numerous times for them to please move it, always brushed off, no compromise.
Last year things came to a head during a heat wave, where after 4 days in a row of bbq for dinner and sometimes lunch, plus singing in the garden until midnight, my husband lost it and shouted out. Admittedly not great from him but frustrated with it yet again. Since then a friendly relationship is basically non existent but I'm always pleasant and have always tried to be the peacekeeper and also see it from their point of view.
Today i did get a warning text so I could get my washing in, replied with thanks and kindly asking moving forward can they please move it away from the house as in the past we have been sat in our conservatory, which is our dining room, with smoke going into our eyes or in heatwaves close our windows so we don't cough or get headaches. Better coming from me than one from my husband. The wife read this out to their group of friends in the garden, 10 seconds later the husband comes round and was shouting at me on my doorstep, with my six year old there, that they'll do what they want to do, the bbq has been there for 15 years and it works for them. We can close our windows(great in the heat!)
They love a drink and a party, of course entitled to that, but I don't see why they can't move it. We have had a lot of noise from them since we moved in but I try to ignore it as I like them and it's not every day, during the summer it's a few times a week. When shouting at me he said they have maybe 6 a year and always warn us. Not true, I can count on one hand the number of warning texts in 7 years and if we have good periods of weather they have done it a few times a week. Wouldn't have a problem if it was at the end of the garden.
I'm just upset as he was shouting at me, when it's me trying to calm my husband down over it and see it from both sides. Now he's been like that I won't be doing it anymore as it was just unbelievable and unnecessary. Then he went straight back to the garden party and said who wants prosseco (they also think we can hear nothing from their garden)
Aibu to think they should move it?

@JohnofWessex surprisingly little. A locality officer visited and didnt seem to take it seriously until I showed him our recorded evidence and took him to see the devastation. He looked really shocked. I think he only got a firm rap on the knuckles from the council.

Fire brigade visited and apparently they didnt even have a fire alarm. I have a feeling the insurance may not have paid out because his garage was never rebuilt.

The police basically told me to go away because there was no law against being an idiot. Hmm.

Sounds very disappointing.

Police etc CAN take action over almost anything the challenge is to make them take action.

Hahaha sounds very tempting to do

Wouldn’t it be awful if they in their drunkenness you left a sausage or burger in the BBQ which had rotted/attracted maggots by the next time they used it?

Last summer our friends sons boss had the same problem with the neighbours barbecue. It was set up under a tree which they thought a bit dead looking right against the fence near their conservatory. They asked them to please move it a bit further down the garden which were at least 250 foot long the said no as they want it near the house easier to get things out of the kitchen.. They used to get anxious as often saw sparks flying around especially when they put stuff on it to get the fire going. This particular weekend they were away visiting friends and they got a phone call from another neighbour to say sorry to have to tell them that their house was on fire. Street full of fire engines and police cars. The neighbours had had a barbecue in the afternoon and then they wandered down to the local pub 10 minutes away and left barbecue smouldering. Unfortunately it got a bit windy sparks flew up in the tree it caught alight and spread to the fence and then the conservatory was on fire. The fire spread rapidly destroying a lot of their house. It took about 6 months from various investigations for the insurance company to say that the house could be fixed when first of all thought it would have to be pulled down. They have been in rented accommodation since hopefully will be able to return soon. Neighbours had some damage to theirs but not half as bad. Their house is now on the market but haven't had much luck selling it.

Hopefully the injured parties insurers will claim against the culprits

I was thinking hosepipe sprinkler. Jet wash is inspired 😄 😄

I totally sympathise. They sound vile. It would be awful if their next bbq co-incided with you needing to put a lot of chicken poo on your garden as fertiliser. It smells vile but it would be really convenient for you to put a big tub of it really close to the fenceline.

If they don’t like smell, well … they can close their windows.

good luck, they sound like utter pricks

I would (ahem) fight fire with fire
Light your barbie next to their window

Oh my god do this!! Send an FYI text that since the weather is nice you are going to clean your fence! I love it!

Absolute dicks. Get environmental health involved. This is so far from acceptable and needs to be resolved. You have a right to breathe clean air in your home, and garden.

I believe you only have to admit to a neighbour dispute if the council are involved.

Get yourself one of those oil drum burners, position it directly opposite their barbecue on your side and light it every evening for two weeks. They might get the messsge!

Next time get a hosexa start washing your conservatory roof if it's that close all the spray should bounce over the bbq and cook. Any complaints the answer is "I can do what I want in my garden"

Next time they fire up the BBQ your husband should do some DIY using a circular saw and randomly use an impact driver to drive screws into some pieces of scrap wood. If he fully squeezes the trigger on the drill it will make the hammering noise all the time.

Have you looked into what you can do to seal up the Conservatory on that side so the smoke doesnt flow in?
maybe open windows on a different side or create windows on a different side?
Accept they are not going to move the bbq and look at what you can do to make things better your side.
its not fair for you but I dont think talking to them will change anything

This is actually a great idea!

It's antagonism to keep doing it!

Raise a complaint with your council who will ask you to keep a diary. I think you are entitled to have a complaint upheld, especially if the smoke enters your home.

YABU unless the government decides to ban all barbeques, there is nothing much you can do about it. We use a barbeque in the middle of the garden which is as far away as we could get from the next door neighbours but the smoke will still drift over there.

But at least you are making an effort to keep smoke and smells away from your neighbours

Off course it doesn't. 🙄There is no worse smell than a BBQ. It makes me want to physically vomit, but you lot just keep going with your carcinogenic cooking. It is vile, revolting and anti social. Thank fuck I live in a field and don't have selfish neighbours. I put you lot in the same bracket as smokers and dog owners.

Is there anyway you could have a bonfire, just as they sit down to eat, or would it affect your other neighbours?
Even better when they have just put washing out.
You could use a chain saw to prepare the wood to burn….

Thank you for all the comments! It really is nice to know a majority are actually considerate to their neighbours.
Just writing this in the lovely warm weather with our living room windows shut as they decided to have a bbq, as usual the stench and smoke is coming in but hey ho they don't give a f**k as long as they're having a nice time!
We were already planning to move in the next few years but this might speed it up. But you never know who you'll move next door to! We have seriously considered environmental health and they would most likely get a fine but as others have said we'd have to declare it when selling so not sure if we will as don't want to jeopardise anything for us.
The pay back comments are good 😄.but I'm just far too considerate of my other neighbours to do anything! We live in a very quiet area and they are the noisy ones. Husband will however be strimmimg and drilling for their next get-together! Plus my conservatory roof does need a clean soon!

And I really wouldn't mind if the bbq was somewhere else, I know smoke blows, but with it being right outside our property it's quite a smell!