AIBU to expect neighbours to move their barbecue away from our house?

[Tam182]

I'm just putting this out there for opinions! Sorry for the long post, I'm upset!

I'm no party pooper, people can have fun of course. But. Our next door neighbours bbq is against the wall, right by our house, about 1 metre from our house and right next to our conservatory (with the wall inbetween)
Over the years they have had many a bbq, the smoke and smell fills our house. Husband has asked numerous times for them to please move it, always brushed off, no compromise.
Last year things came to a head during a heat wave, where after 4 days in a row of bbq for dinner and sometimes lunch, plus singing in the garden until midnight, my husband lost it and shouted out. Admittedly not great from him but frustrated with it yet again. Since then a friendly relationship is basically non existent but I'm always pleasant and have always tried to be the peacekeeper and also see it from their point of view.
Today i did get a warning text so I could get my washing in, replied with thanks and kindly asking moving forward can they please move it away from the house as in the past we have been sat in our conservatory, which is our dining room, with smoke going into our eyes or in heatwaves close our windows so we don't cough or get headaches. Better coming from me than one from my husband. The wife read this out to their group of friends in the garden, 10 seconds later the husband comes round and was shouting at me on my doorstep, with my six year old there, that they'll do what they want to do, the bbq has been there for 15 years and it works for them. We can close our windows(great in the heat!)
They love a drink and a party, of course entitled to that, but I don't see why they can't move it. We have had a lot of noise from them since we moved in but I try to ignore it as I like them and it's not every day, during the summer it's a few times a week. When shouting at me he said they have maybe 6 a year and always warn us. Not true, I can count on one hand the number of warning texts in 7 years and if we have good periods of weather they have done it a few times a week. Wouldn't have a problem if it was at the end of the garden.
I'm just upset as he was shouting at me, when it's me trying to calm my husband down over it and see it from both sides. Now he's been like that I won't be doing it anymore as it was just unbelievable and unnecessary. Then he went straight back to the garden party and said who wants prosseco (they also think we can hear nothing from their garden)
Aibu to think they should move it?

This
Also you could maybe get a good Fan plug it into a long extention lead.
Direct it towards their side and where the smoke is coming from so it goes back towards them / theirs hopefully.

Why would the smoke be going into your house? If it’s warm enough to BBQ then you’d have the windows closed during the day surely, and open them at night. Unless you’re saying they’re cooking BBQ food late in the evening, I can’t really understand how it’d affect you unless you happened to be in your garden yourself and smell the BBQ smoke which is just part of living in close proximity to people. It sounds like they’ve been considerate by letting you know beforehand as they saw you had washing hanging out. Do you really expect them to rearrange their garden to suit you? Surely if the wind happens to be blowing from their garden towards your garden then you would smell it even if they move it a few metres, and the wind may change direction and blow it towards your house anyway!

Set up a padding pool and trampoline and invite a group of children round. Provide water pistols, balloons and perhaps a few recorders and a kazoo. Sit back and watch the carnage.

I just done see why they’re being such arses about this. It’s clearly not pleasant to have smoke directed at your house. Who on earth would dig their heels in and insist on it staying? I don’t know anyone this inconsiderate, I really don’t.

So they really are just being arses.

Hope that bamboo is potted. Our neighbours is invading our garden 😩

When they're out, get a stool /ladder and pour honey/maple syrup/something sticky over the wall onto the BBQ. Hopefully will be covered in ants and flies next time they want to use it. Check they don't have CCTV first!

Definitely convenient to store it there but fire risk to use it there - especially with that plant. Not really space there to use it, so obviously trying to be annoying.
Completely unsuitable to be using it in that position!
Just had a quick Google and in gardens, BBQs should be at least 3m away from trees, fences and sheds. BBQ should be placed in such a way that smoke doesn't blow into neighbours windows!!

I would be more concerned re the Bamboo. Google is there a problem with bamboo in the UK.

I’m amazed they don’t set fire to the fence or the bamboo. I am a bit nervous about such set ups since my arse hole neighbour set the hedge in fire and we lost all our sheds, garden office, 50k worth of damage, 52 trees and nearly lost the house.

id contact the fire brigade for advice.

Jeez bamboo! That’s the bigger problem, not least if they set fire to it. They clearly don’t care about the impact of their actions, selfish.

We've raised that before but that's also brushed off as 'bamboo can do that' then no more from them. For that I'd be sending a bill if any damage was caused

That's awful! Sorry you went through that. Luckily it's a brick wall but if anything went wrong our conservatory could be damaged. May just do that, thanks

Fight fire with fire, they're arseholes, liquid ass works 😁.

They sound like our next door neighbours. Entitled, selfish twats. It's awful. While I would be tempted to get the hose out while they are barbecuing, these things can escalate and no one wins. We're just counting down the days until we can afford to move while bracing ourselves for yet another alcohol fuelled garden party this weekend where he falls out with someone and ends up scrapping on the street with one of their guests (I kid you not).

Plant leylandi hedging and let it grow. That will push the smoke back to them.
Start booming out awful music.
Wait for them to have open windows and light a bonfire.
Put lots of badger screaming machines on your boundary, with super flashing screeching disco lights.
Mow your lawn at 8am. Get the hedge trimmer going at the same time.
i am sure this is not the right answer, but very very tempting!!!

Next time they are abusive 999

Play Death Metal with your conservatory doors wide open and the speakers angled towards them 😇😇😇

You like them? What's to like? They're cunts

Pour weed killer on the bamboo encroaching on your garden.

Hi @Tam182

I am an avid BBQ'er. I BBQ all year round, and I am on several BBQ forums. This issue comes up a fair bit. I have never had any issue with any neighbours throughout the 30 yrs I have been in it, long before it was popular as it is now. That is because I am a reasonable person. On the forums, many BBQers have unreasonable neighbours and have had issues.

Taking what you have written at face value, you sound reasonable, and your neighbours sound dickish and entitled. Your husband is going to end up coming to blows with this bell end, and it will end up with him getting hurt or getting in trouble. If he will shout at a woman on her own doorstep, then no point in ever trying to reason with him, and equally, his wife, who will back him up because these guys shout at their wives too, utter cretins.

I am going to be a BBQ snob now to suggest that he sounds like he has a grill-type BBQ up against the wall and mainly grills. Is this correct? It does sound like it is charcoal, not gas, but he could just be burning the food.

My suggestion, without being silly, is to buy a new or second-hand bullet smoker for your DP and get heavily into low and slow cooking. I set a large turkey going for about 10 hrs at night. That 10 hrs of delicious, wispy smoke wafting into next door's open windows at night. I would then try my hand at smoked fish and cold smoked eggs, which make the most delicious egg mayo sandwiches.

Fight fire with smoke !!

I’m trying to think of something not very nice you could put on a cheap bbq . Like manure

The bloke should not be shouting at anyone, and they shouldn't be noisy late in the evening. But a few BBQs over the summer isn't a big deal. You would be much better off leaning into it rather than getting so worked up over something pretty minor

If your properties are council owned then report to the Council. If not, check even so as it is invasive.

Surely the smoke into your house is a nuisance that you can report to the council? Keep a log!

I’d be having bonfires every time they have their bbq out, but I’m petty af