AIBU to say I cannot keep lifting my mum’s chair?

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My mum had a fall 3 years ago and had a broken hip also diabetes and heart issues
she brought a chair to be go out however it is down to me her only child to lift the chair in and out of everywhere and I hate it. It’s so heavy I have severe shoulder pain each time it rips my clothes and gets mud all over them I feel I cannot do it anymore but if I don’t her life is even more limited than it is.

A wheelchair?

Does she have an occupational therapist or someone you can talk to about something easier?
Sadly you’re going to get to a point where you won’t be physically able to do it whether you want to or not as you’re heading for an injury.
where did she get the original chair from?
would she get on with one of the walkers that has a seat built into it???

Have you been in touch with any disability charities to see if they could offer support with a more appropriate mobility device that is lighter and more portable, which still meets her and your needs?

I think there are some words missing on your post. Do you mean a wheelchair?

If it’s a heavy one-tell her that it’s not possible for you to use it. People are often giving away lightweight ones on local freecycle type pages here.

Get a scooter? Presume you are taking about a wheelchair.

I would look at getting her to change to a lightweight one.

Is it a wheelchair that the user is supposed to propel themselves?
They are very heavy.
There are lightweight ones that you might find easier

A wheelchair? If you are finding it to heavy that you can't bump it down or up to the extent it is ripping your clothes and it is too heavy then it isn't the right wheelchair, I am an occasional outside wheelchair user mine folds up and the handles go down so I can lift it, im under 5ft and have a disability.

What exatcly do you mean?
If its a a wheelchair as a pp said you can get light weight ones , you can also get portable ramps to make getting in and out of doorways easier
Can she use a mobility scooter?

What sort of chair does she have? Might be time for an upgrade! Or change to a lightweight mobility scooter and have outdoor storage.

She won’t use anything but this power chair - even if we go somewhere where you can hire one
shw won’t use a walker either it’s frustrating as she just won’t try
doctor told her she should be attempting to walk but she says she cannot

You're not unreasonable in the least. I would look at getting a lighter one, if at all possible. Are you being expected to lift it in and out of your car all the time as well?

But the light weight ones you have to push don’t you? She is very overweight as am I and I just couldn’t do that

Is it T2 diabetes? If so, would there be some weight issues that would prevent her from using a lighter weight chair? Or the lightest weight mobility scooter?

You can get ramps to wheel the chair up into the boot. You can also get hoists like this one for scooters https://www.mobilityinmotion.com/car-hoists-for-wheelchairs-and-mobility-scooters/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=paid-search&utm_campaign=H_-Loading&_Stowage&utm_adgroup=Boot_Hoists&utm_content=&utm_term=&utm_source=google&utm_medium=paid-search&utm_campaign=h_boothoists&utm_adgroup=boothoists&utm_term=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23741913068&gbraid=0AAAAApYSkljgw-FgdTYNJ9ve_4P4xarIY&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIscaA-YSHlQMVS5tQBh1VrixsEAAYASAAEgJxw_D_BwE

The scooter was even heavier to lift

Yes multiple times a day

So you present it to her as a choice; she either pays for a hoist or she accepts that she’s now housebound as you physically cannot lift it anymore.

Get a ramp you can but portable ones you can also refuse to lift it does she Have it in the house, Where did she get it if Gp want her mobile .

Where is she going that it is in and out of the car ?

Sounds like your Mum needs to get and fund a disability car that has a ramp etc. This is what mobility allowance is meant to fund.

Tbf they are heavy and the lightweight ones are sometimes not as stable, i sold my scooter now i hire one if need be.

Why won't she try walking? I'd be unsympathetic to be honest. My grandad broke his hip into 5 pieces at 85 and can still walk well, despite his refusal to do physio. He was walking to his local shop from the day he was discharged.

My mum was walking on a leg her consultant had advised amputating 3 years before until the day she died. It hurt, but it worked better for her than one leg...

Walking really is use it or lose it.

Can she walk around the house ? get up the stairs ? Get on and off the toilet ? Is it just outside where she uses the power chair ?

You need to go to the GP and ask for an OT assessment, and explain that the equipment she's bought is so inappropriate it's causing injury to you.

While you wait for the referral to go through (there may be a long wait), you need to tell your mother that her equipment is injuring you and you will not be using it. This will be hard, but who is going to care for her or for you if you injure your shoulder? If you rip your rotator cuff, it's unlikely to recover without surgery.

She would need to be on the highest mobilty rate of PIP to qualify for a mobility car.