AIBU for not checking on DH and the kids during flight?

[Dhflightsulk]

We recently returned from an abroad holiday, we left the online check in too late which meant we had 3 seats next to each other, and then a seat further down the plane about 15 rows in front, as opposed to next to the 3 on the opposing row (as we did on the way out).

I took the single seat and DH was with DS2 and DD5 in the three.

The flight was only short haul so about 2.5 hours. DH was (and to an extent still is) unhappy that I didn’t check in with him during the flight, which he described as hard work with our kids being young.

I said he’s perfectly capable of parenting and didn’t need me checking up on him. He maintains I should have checked in.

AIBU?

He gives them screens and then puts his earphones in and ignores.

The man on the 10hour honeymoon flight was in a big family group around us with his wife in front. Him, me in the middle then DH. He started off by “accidentally” touching my leg when taking off his seat belt. Being very apologetic and smiley and friendly. I fell deeply asleep but kept feeling someone touching me and my dress being pushed up. DH was again asleep. I was disoriented due to lack of sleep and felt someone squeeze my breast. When I looked both DH and man looked to be asleep so I didn’t know for sure who it was although I knew it was the man but couldn’t prove it.

It's her that won't sitvwirh other people so hardly his doing

I regularly needed to travel with my baby to visit my dad in another country. I just did the parenting on my own.

I’d have been annoyed if it was me, and I only have 1 child.

Read my reasons why.

I feel like this reads as a reverse too, just because it sounds like something a useless husband would do.

I've been sat slightly apart from my husband while I've been with the kids before, he checked in on us regularly. Not because I'm incapable, but because we are a team and it's easier for the person who's sat on their own to walk to the person alone with 2 young children, rather than getting up and taking the 2 children with you while looking for the other parent. Seems like it would be easier to sit in pairs, one parent with a child each.

I read them. Whatever your reasons it's still your choice to do so.

She didn’t chose that though.

HE did by not booking the seats in time.
So yes, it would have been better if they had been ‘together’.
But HE messed up the booking
And HE agreed to look after tge dcs on his own, just like the OP had done on the other leg.

So it was HIS doing.

Err I'm quoting another person while you are talking about theOP

And I 100% agree with you BTW

If this was a man not checking in with his wife everyone would be saying how selfish he is…

what is it with these men who can’t parent their own children for a few hours?

Again he obviously did and could, it’s more just being nice and thoughtful, sitting with a 2 year old on a plane can be hard, my husband would definitely take a walk up to us

I think mums learn to do things on their own faster than dads in general and it's a good opportunity for him to learn what looking after small children takes.Im sure as it was not a long flight it wasn't that bad but I also think it will help you to remember to check in early next time and make sure you have one child each day next to you...
I think he may be unhappy but you need to be able to move past it and make plans for what will be done differently in the future.

We went to Lapland in December and I was sat with the kids, my husband, mum and her partner were in front but on the emergency exit seats so our eldest couldn't sit there, they all just fell asleep and I sorted kids....we've just come back off holiday and we did 2x 2 this time so I sat with our 4yr old daughter behind my husband and 8yr old son....our Son is 100x easier than our daughter....I'd check on my husband if it was me, but he's probably not check on me

I defintely wouldn't have offered a swap in that case. DH has an alarn set to check in the minute it opens to confirm our seats - which he has already booked.

Our seats were changed on the out leg of our flight at Easter so we swapped the middle one of the (awful) seats allocated to an extra legroom seat and hoped no one took the free middle. It meant DH had extra legroom and DS and I had 3 seats between us. 9 hour flight, I only spoke to him when I went to the toilet 😆

Exactly it was his incompetence that created this seat situation. The OP stuck to her part of the arrangement.

And here’s the drip feed.
OP if you’re a proper 50/50 team, and you abandoned him like that you’re a bit of a nob.
If you’re secretly doing a ‘damn the man save the empire’ rebellion because his crapness caused the situation and its a common theme, then rock on.

My DH can absolutely manage but I’d always check in, as he would with me. Not a big deal but we care about one another.

The flight was 2.5 hours fgs! What's all this 'checking in '?

It’s just mystifying that regardless of what was agreed you wouldn’t just wander up the plane and say “all good?”, and then wander back down the plane to your seat. Not because it’s needed. Not because your DH can’t cope (because he can, and did). Not because you’re required to “check in”. Just because you’re a team and it’s a reasonable thing to do.

And again, if OP was the DH, this entire chat would be inundated with “get your ducks in a row” and “LTB”.

And if she did that there's a good chance one or both kids would start creating at the sight of her

Maybe these people check in every hour from work when the other parent has the kids

Was that not a bit of a squash?
Of course he can cope. They're just as much his kids as yours
But i would have checked regardless of the gender of either parent.
Simple courtesy

You should have checked. As others have said if someone (child or DH had needed the toilet). The only reason you didn’t is you didn’t want to risk him asking to swap halfway as you enjoyed the time to yourself but you are being unreasonable to not admit that. If me and my DH we would have suggested taking half the time each and checked at least once during the other persons time.

Absolute madness.