Was DP’s comment to waiter ‘encouraging’ or crass?

[Janeywestblue]

We had a lovely meal at our local earlier. Our waiter was someone we hadn’t seen before and he told us he was on his first shift when he came over to take our drinks order. DP commented to him ‘I bet your arse is twitching like a rabbit’s nose’ to which he sort of awkwardly/politely laughed. I told DP off and he said the waiter would appreciate him breaking the ice and having a laugh with him.

I disagree and thought it was crass. AIBU?

Yes, it's very specific isn't it. Really puts the focus onto the poor lad's anus.

What a horrible comment to make to a stranger

I hear you; perhaps someone should get to the bottom of it.

Eh?

Your boyfriend is an embarrassment. Imagine trying to humiliate a worker by talking about their anus. The mind boggles.

Do you want to keep dating the man?

I believe every single one of these happened in real life too, because a lot of men have a perverted obsession with the rear end. The area is never too far back at the forefront of their mind and curiosity gets the better of them, which causes them to spill stupid comments from their mouths. If they weren’t as socially conditioned I’m convinced they’d be like dogs in the park, running up to randoms and sniffing as many bumholes as they can find.

He clearly got sexually excited by the sight of this poor waiters backside.
The feeling was not mutual

Disgusting. Surely you've got the ick now, I would have gone right off the idea of shagging that vulgar man.

Given that the waiter was only in contact with your partner in a professional capacity and was therefore under a lot of pressure to be polite/accommodating, it seems especially dire. No one deserves to be sexually harassed at all, of course, but harassing someone in their workplace seems especially dodgy and mean.

🤮

What?! How do you get sexually excited out of this exchange?!
Sounds like it was just a crass joke.

Horrible comment, so ignorant

I’ve heard people use the expression ‘I’m so nervous my arse is sewing buttons’, which is pretty weird too

YANBU. It's way too graphic to be encouraging. I think it's actually a little humiliating.

Also what does it even mean!?!?

I looked up twitchy bum time / syndrome as referenced by pp's & got either squeaky bum time or piriformis syndrome 🤔

Neither expression makes sense to me, which is surprising considering I'd be on the lowest rung of the socio-economic ladder. PIP n evryfink innit.

It was uncalled for and unfunny. It wouldn't raise a smile at any time let alone when ordering food.

Anyway, I'll get back to my Special Brew and arse scratching.

What an odd thing to say- the post was relevant.

How cringe. At least the waiter got a story out of it to tell his friends later, when the topic of dick head customers comes up.

The phrase "I bet your arse is twitching like a rabbit's nose" is a colloquial, often humorous expression used to describe someone who is extremely nervous, scared, or anxious. It suggests that the person's buttocks or anus is involuntarily clenching or spasming out of fear, comparing this physical reaction to the rapid, nervous twitching of a frightened rabbit's nose.

I had to google that because I don't understand lower class humour.

Gross

I'd call it crass, and very rude. I'm not sure what it is even supposed to mean, it's so ridiculous.

WTF does that even mean

What a gentleman.
''Manners maketh the man''.

He's only saying you must be nervous as hell. I don't see the big deal 🤷‍♀️

Im from NE to and I've heard it before

I can quite imagine. I had a similar job in my early 20’s and the wealthier the clientele, the more predatory and filthy they were.