Have you noticed this with your parents as they’ve got older?

[Thesleer]

I don’t know if i’m being unfair. I’m in my early forties and my parents are late sixties. They have a few buy to let properties and whilst not incredibly wealthy they are comfortable. I feel this detail is relevant as it means they have lots of options open to them. Neither work now, they are in decent health generally, have a few grandchildren they see regularly. Both have wide friendship groups and socialise.

But, they just don’t seem happy. Always wanting something else. Is this what happens as you get older? The current drama is whether they need to move house, it’s like they enjoy creating a chaotic situation that simply doesn’t need to exist. Every weekend they’ve asked me to view houses with them (I have two dc so life is quite busy!) and they often comment on how life is nearly over.

On a lesser scale, there’s often dramas about getting home from a shop and the blueberries or whatever being off, calling the shop and having a rant about it, just really insane petty things. It all seems so stressful even from the outside!

I have sympathy in the sense that I can understand how life can feel empty sometimes even when it isn’t, but truthfully I’m also getting sick of the inability to see they have a pretty nice life! AIBU? Is this what happens as people
age?

My mum can be similar, only in as much as minor inconveniences are a massive deal, but that is more her mental health than anything to do with her age. She has terrible anxiety but wont do anything about it.

My dad is in his early 70s, lives alone and is pretty content with life. He's been retired for a few years now, despite a few niggly health concerns he's enjoying himself with hobbies and holidays and family time and always has a positive outlook.

My mum is same age and living with her husband, she's not at all happy with life but due to serious health issues/disability she has little reason to be happy with life.

Her husbands sister and brother in law are mid to late 70's, healthy, comfortably well off, owning several properties and driving round in brand new luxury cars in designer clothes, have plenty of friends, holidays and leisure time but they do nothing but moan about money and other people.

I suppose everyone is different, regardless of age!

My parents are also in their late 60's, I'd say my Mum was more likely to be over-anxious than my Dad. From conversations I've had with my Dad my Mum is more reluctant to go out anywhere due to anxiety about me and my daughters (all neurodivergent), her health and what might happen. If anything is going on with us she will lose sleep and get in a flap over it despite trying to reassure me otherwise. Another thing is reviews online before committing to a purchase or booking a holiday, she was convinced a holiday cottage she had booked for her and my Dad wasn't going to be up to much going on reviews but enjoyed it once she was there.

I retired early and would have loved it, except my husband died. I haven't had the retirement I expected but is still wayyyyyyy better than work, responsibility or volunteering. I freely admit I'd have a different view if I wasn't comfortably circumstanced but we worked for it and earned it and insofar as its possible I am bloody well going to enjoy it.

Mine is the same since retiring. It’s like he has nothing important to worry about so he rants on about pointless stuff like the weather/public transport/the cost of shopping.

OP, is it possible that they become preoccupied with the blueberries being off because their lives are less busy? I don't think this mindset is inevitable as you age but I don't think it is uncommon either. I think it is a case of not having enough other stuff to deal with. Sorry. It can be draining to listen to,

How does any of that justify some old people complaining and moaning over a petty things to a young woman (or man) trying to do their job in a cafe? By your logic, it is these elderly who should be taking your 'be kind' advice. No, these people are worried for themselves, not the future of others.

I'm so sorry to hear that. I admire your attitude and hope your life brings you fun and joy, albeit not in the way you would have wished it.

Perfectly reasonable in wonderig what all the chaos and drama is about. However, I doubt you are going to be able to dig deep enough to find what the true underlying cause is. There are very very many possibilities that are driving their behaviour. Hey, as a person in their seventies, I've seen a lot of contemporaries change like this and never discovered what was going on. Not much help really, but pain, be it physical or mental may be a pointer, but believe you me, prying reasons from us oldies is never going to be easy. The realisation that there is limited time left certainly won't help. Also, keep in mind that being busy and doing things when there is no apparent need is one of life's anaesthetics.

No, not generally. My parents are in their 70s and are pretty happy with their lot. They downsized to a two up two down terraced cottage, pocketed the cash difference, and live a quiet, content life spending it on cruises. My dad was recently diagnosed with a degenerative illness but he’s upbeat and positive about it. They rarely if ever moan.

In laws are similar. They’re well off financially but live a pretty content life with their large garden. Again, rarely moan or complain.

Not to me, it hasn't.... or any of my friends, come to that.

MY PIL are exactly the same but they are in their 80s. Money to burn and still stressed about the small stuff.

I've noticed it with my mother, not my father.
I think it's pretty normal.

No! Well, my parents have gone, but I'm not like that at all, I'm positive & cheerful.
I think some people just seem to think the world is out to get them.. I hate it & won't have anything to do with people like that, as another poster said, it's so DRAINING.

The ageism on this thread is appalling.

As people get older they realise they are less fit, less healthy, less everything.
The world is changing fast. Many people become quite frightened.

No it isn’t at all. I’m 67 and my husband is 73. Not sure why they seem so unsatisfied. We could only dream of such financial contentment. We lead a simple life though I do harbour ambitions still but not at the risk of discontent.

Thinking of my neighbours who never go anywhere or do anything, outside of the house at least, on the other side is a couple the complete opposite. Both sides I would say are comfortably off and in good health.

This couple are older, walk the dog twice per day, walk the grandchildren to and from school a couple of times per week and look after them, have a caravan they use regularly go away and basically every time you pop out you usually see them coming or going! Even though they are in their 80's, I always feel they're as fit and active as someone in their 40's or something.