To be annoyed partner is still not home?

[inkyspells]

So my partner went out to meet his fellow area managers .
They met at 5pm (for apparently a couple of drinks and a meal )
They have met in a city that’s a hour away.
He didn’t take his key because he said he wouldn’t be late.
Hes just text asking for the bus timetable ,I sent it over and he replied saying he’s getting the midnight bus.
So he’s not getting home till after 1am
Hes got no key so I’m gonna have to stay up
He has work at 7am in the morning as well
He asked if I was Annoyed,I just said well you will be tired tomorrow at work (I now work from home and off till Tuesday)
Aibu ? Just take your key but tbh I wouldn’t sleep anyway till I knew he was home.

The football has only just finished. Leave the key under a rock and go to bed. No skin off your nose if he's tired tomorrow.

I’d be annoyed he didn’t take his key but not about the time - he’s an adult not a teenager with a curfew.

Why didn’t he take a key?

He should have taken his key but as you are not working tomorrow I think you should cut him some slack, unless this is a regular occurance.

He hates carrying his keys
He’s stupid when he’s drunk and doesn’t know what he’s doing so I can’t settle till he is in

Put the key under the doormat/a rock/a flowerpot and go to bed. It's the opening night of the football (I always have to make this point as we have a rugby one too!) World Cup so I imagine they stayed out for that. Nothing to do with you if he's tired tomorrow, he's an adult, he can get himself out of bed and out to work.

Can you not just hide a key and go to bed?

I’d hide his key somewhere, let him know where it is and go to bed.

For the future, get a key safe so he can always get in.

It is irritating to wake up for him but surely it's a one off. Not sure why you are annoyed. These things happen. Whether or not he is tired tomorrow is not your concern. Also, if you wouldn't sleep till he is home anyway, then why all this drama? You are basically annoyed that you are staying up late because he is coming home late. Maybe change this habit of waiting up and you can be more relaxed and enjoy your sleep.

It’s not unreasonable for an adult to decide when to come home. He’s a big boy, if he’s tired at work it’s his own problem.
The bigger issue is this man child can’t go out without losing his keys so doesn’t have them. That’s not normal.

Yeah he needs to take a key, that’s just silly.

And you need to learn to switch off and go to sleep whilst he’s out.

You need to work on your sleeping technique. There's nothing in your post that indicates you should be annoyed with him being out late unless you're planning a big dripfeed.

Hes a grown adult. He should take his own keys. He can get himself up for work in the morning. He can fill his boots with coffee if he's tired. He shouldn't be disrupting you.

'He's stupid when he's drunk' is he your child or your partner? 🙄

Feels a bit like you’re his mother, waiting up on him and him being too irresponsible to take a key! That would annoy me. However, I would definitely just go to bed and leave the key somewhere and enjoy some time on my own. Unless he’s out all the time I don’t think it’s a big deal really.

Does he work in that city or close to home?
if the former - get a travelodge.
if the latter - get a taxi

There is absolutely no way on earth if he can’t look up a bus timetable is he boarding a bus in 90 mins, and getting off it (unless it’s the end of the line) an hour after that.

There are so many threads on MN where men don't, or won't take their house key with them when they go out. I just don't understand it. I never leave the house without my key, irrespective of how long I'm going to be. I thought that was the norm.

But yes I think you have every right to be annoyed. Especially if he makes a habit of drinking so much he doesn't know what he is doing. If you are in the habit of sitting up waiting for him to make sure he gets home safely you sound more like the mother of a teenage boy rather than the partner of an adult man.

He’s a fully grown adult this would concern me!

What a pain he is, unable to look after himself on a night out. Suppose he gets mugged ?

Will he still be drunk when he goes to work?

He sounds attractive 🙄. “Hates carrying keys.” Little man baby needs to grow up. How would he cope if he lived on his own?

He hates carrying his keys

Diddums

He needs to learn to look after his keys - how would he manage if he lived alone?

But you are being over dramatic by staying up and worrying, and also if he is going to do something silly then it’s not going to be at home, you won’t be there anyway and can’t do anything about it so not point staying up and fretting.

Go to bed and either he’ll ring the doorbell / wake you up to left him in when you’ve already had a few hours sleep by 1am or if he can’t wake you then he can sleep outside and that teach him to take his keys

The key thing I understand - if lock the door and hide a key.
however, I would definitely not be losing any sleep over the fact my partner might be tired the next day!! He’s a grown man and I’m sure he’ll cope -
if not it’s his own issue not yours

He managed to get about and home with keys before he met you so why has he become incapable of doing so now?

Just go to bed.

Him refusing to carry keys is his own issue. Him being stupid is his own issue. Him being tired is his own issue.

He made his choices, he can handle them.