To find lazy adults really grating?

[myothersockis]

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

Its not the sleep schedule that I don't get, my partner is a night owl, It is the "spending 17hrs in bed" unless there is a medical need

All of this.

I'm naturally a later sleeper too. If I am left to my own devices, my natural rhythm would be sleeping 2/3am to 10/11am roughly.

Trying to do a 10pm - 7am sleep pattern means I always hit the wall around 2pm, but I always take an age to fall asleep. You're lucky if I'm asleep before 11pm, and I'm only ever sleep before 9pm if I'm either poorly or exceptionally tired. You're more likely to find me awake at 5am if I haven't been to sleep yet than from waking early.

On the flip side, I know people who are natural early risers who are awake at 5am every morning but are asleep by 9pm. Some people just have a different natural rhythm.

You look about the same. So are you annoyed because she manages to look like you and are you are jealous because you have to put the effort in when she doesn’t (even though her 6 hours a day on her feet probably amounts to more activity than your gym sessions)?

She’s living with loving parents who don’t mind supplementing the minimum wage she receives, for doing one of the most thankless and important support roles that allow working parents to work and afford childcare. Are you jealous that she has
supportive parents?

ETA I’m more like you, OP, except the number of hours you work and “going to the gym” sound very light to me, I worked much longer hours every day and some weekends (unpaid) to progress my career, did pro bono work on the side and trained hard at a competitive sport. I would never in a million years judge you as a lazy slacker for not doing as much as me. You see, it’s all relative; and what other people (who aren’t dependent on you and vice versa) do/don’t do in their spare time really has no impact on you whatsoever.

Different strokes for different folks. People have different circadian rhythms, different activity tolerance and different interests. You’re clearly not suited as friends. It doesn’t make either of you better than the other. Although if her crime is ribbing you to your face and yours is being horrible about her behind her back, well I know which I’d prefer in a friend.

Is she in bed or sitting on her bed as shes still living at home and to be alone is in a bedroom which wont fit a sofa. And might not want to spend all her time with here parents. Im sure if she was on the sofa or at the kitchen table there be less comments

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

27 pages late to this but I've read the thread (having started this morning before I went to work and coming back to it now)

You do sound like a massive bitch OP

You're doing this on purpose aren't you? Pretending that working in a nursery is lazy to fit your narrative. I taught early years in my 20s and used to have to have a nap after because it was exhausting.

Mature adults don't belittle other people for living differently from them.

I’ve never been able to sleep before 1am and I’m in my late 40s, I can sleep in to 11 if not working, I’m certainly not lazy and get stuff done later. Why do you care when people go to bed?