To find lazy adults really grating?

[myothersockis]

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

Its not the sleep schedule that I don't get, my partner is a night owl, It is the "spending 17hrs in bed" unless there is a medical need

All of this.

I'm naturally a later sleeper too. If I am left to my own devices, my natural rhythm would be sleeping 2/3am to 10/11am roughly.

Trying to do a 10pm - 7am sleep pattern means I always hit the wall around 2pm, but I always take an age to fall asleep. You're lucky if I'm asleep before 11pm, and I'm only ever sleep before 9pm if I'm either poorly or exceptionally tired. You're more likely to find me awake at 5am if I haven't been to sleep yet than from waking early.

On the flip side, I know people who are natural early risers who are awake at 5am every morning but are asleep by 9pm. Some people just have a different natural rhythm.

You look about the same. So are you annoyed because she manages to look like you and are you are jealous because you have to put the effort in when she doesn’t (even though her 6 hours a day on her feet probably amounts to more activity than your gym sessions)?

She’s living with loving parents who don’t mind supplementing the minimum wage she receives, for doing one of the most thankless and important support roles that allow working parents to work and afford childcare. Are you jealous that she has
supportive parents?

ETA I’m more like you, OP, except the number of hours you work and “going to the gym” sound very light to me, I worked much longer hours every day and some weekends (unpaid) to progress my career, did pro bono work on the side and trained hard at a competitive sport. I would never in a million years judge you as a lazy slacker for not doing as much as me. You see, it’s all relative; and what other people (who aren’t dependent on you and vice versa) do/don’t do in their spare time really has no impact on you whatsoever.

Different strokes for different folks. People have different circadian rhythms, different activity tolerance and different interests. You’re clearly not suited as friends. It doesn’t make either of you better than the other. Although if her crime is ribbing you to your face and yours is being horrible about her behind her back, well I know which I’d prefer in a friend.

Is she in bed or sitting on her bed as shes still living at home and to be alone is in a bedroom which wont fit a sofa. And might not want to spend all her time with here parents. Im sure if she was on the sofa or at the kitchen table there be less comments

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

27 pages late to this but I've read the thread (having started this morning before I went to work and coming back to it now)

You do sound like a massive bitch OP

You're doing this on purpose aren't you? Pretending that working in a nursery is lazy to fit your narrative. I taught early years in my 20s and used to have to have a nap after because it was exhausting.

Mature adults don't belittle other people for living differently from them.

I’ve never been able to sleep before 1am and I’m in my late 40s, I can sleep in to 11 if not working, I’m certainly not lazy and get stuff done later. Why do you care when people go to bed?

I think I'd feel a bit grotty if I lay in bed all day until 3pm but it's not my business to tell someone how to live unless it's impacting others. Equally I wouldn't want to be up and out at 7am after working full time all week. I think you sound a bit immature to be honest and I don't think you two are really suited as friends if she grates on you.

well done you for your self awareness that you ‘may sound like a massive bitch’.

Why is your idea of how you spend your day more superior way to spend the day? What time your friend should go to bed, what time she gets up in her day and what she should be doing with her day? It doesn’t affect your life so confused why it bothers you so much.

Personally I am a morning person, I also like to be productive and get stuff done and keep busy, but I would never judge anyone else (especially my friend) for staying in bed or what they do with their day. I do not go to the gym, I couldn’t think of anything worse also personally think it’s a waste of time but I wouldn’t judge you for it. You obviously Enjoy it so I’m happy you do.

One thing I would say is if her life style bothers you so much, are you really her friend?! Because I wouldn’t consider you as my friend if you were this judgemental

I'd hate to see you in a shipyard or a busy factory. I can hardly walk when I get home at night sometimes because I'm so worn out. I'm 60 today (yaaayyy), and I've got another seven years of this...😆

I didn't realise you had to spend your spare time 'doing hobbies' and getting up early to be successful and have your own house and car.

Nobody’s really changed my mind to be honest. I think getting in from work at 6:30, getting straight in bed without showering and ordering a takeaway instead of cleaning yourself and eating a good home cooked meal is pretty grotty! Muting this thread now ✌️

You can't mute the thread you have no control over that 😂
the same way you can't control what other people do with their lives 😂😂😂
hope your curently single, stay that way and never have children cause you would never cope not being able to control their lives 🤣🤣🤣

Waahhh no one agreed with me being superior. 😭😂

I had a friend like you, notice the “had”.

I was lucky to be a SAHM when our children were young and I had a friend who used to make digs about me being lazy, being a lady of leisure, telling me to find motivation , alright for some still in your pyjamas comments aswell as other. Dh and I sacrificed a lot to enable me to stay at home but i wouldn’t have change it.

had he comments about how she worked hard, had to work night shift, blah blah blah it got boring after a while.

got fed up with her shitty comments

I doubt she's sat there staring at the wall
TBF it sounds from the OP's posts like she is.
I wouldn't know what to talk to someone like this about.

🤣 had to check what board this was then. It is AIBU. Why do people ask questions they don’t want the answer to?

Good luck with that....😄 You're just raging that people don't agree with you. Fair play to you, you've given it a good go...😂

Nobody’s really changed my mind to be honest.

I don't know whether to 😂or 🙄

Probably a good idea to end the friendship, since she annoys you so much.

Nobody was going to change your mind because you never had any intention of changing it! You are relishing putting your friend down too much. Enjoy polishing your halo.

The more you post about her, the more amazing she sounds!!

It's not a competition. Of course a fully manual job would be more tiring but the OP can't pretend that a shift in a nursery is lazy.

Again, your reading comprehension isn’t the best, is it?

Did I say that I was pondering out loud and drawing comparisons to people I KNOW in real life? I don’t doubt there are people that just enjoy being active for the sake of being active, fair play to them.

But, in my experience (key phrase there), the people that fill every single minute of their day with activity are avoiding something.

I am dealing with vicarious trauma through my job so although I enjoy lying down and doing the bare minimum more than the average person, these days a big part of it comes from being chronically overwhelmed from keeping children safe from being neglected and abused.

Enjoy your gardening 💐