To be disappointed with how soft play handled this man

[Playcomment]

I reported an inappropriate sexual comment made by another parent at a soft play area yesterday.

I was climbing down from one of the raised areas with my DS and didn’t realise he was climbing up. I said a polite sorry and he replied not to worry and that if he knew his £10 entry included him getting an arse in his face he would have visited months ago. I challenged him and then reported to staff.

The staff approached me 10/15 minutes later to say they’d spoken to him and he had admitted saying that but was ‘obviously joking’ and he relayed his apologies, so they considered the matter sorted.

Personally, I think he should have been asked to leave. He made me feel extremely uncomfortable and could have gone on to say similar to other parents present.

91% of us are 'cool girls' then.

Ridiculous phrase 🙄

🙄

I'm thinking it’s best you decline any hen party invites you might get…. ptsd would on the horizon.

He may well have felt uncomfortable having an arse shoved in his face too.

All of the hen parties I’ve been on are to events like spa days, paintballing, salsa dancing lessons, cocktail making classes, etc. Perhaps @PinkPonyAnonymous and her friends aren’t low-brow either.

He may not have been wild about having an arse shoved in his face either, to be fair.

Right! Such a stupid phrase.

Id rather be a "cool girl" than someone who cries/grasses a man in over a joke 🤣

I’m in the middle. I wouldn’t have found it funny and I think he should be made to realise that it’s not acceptable to make sexualised jokes about strangers (so I think having staff go over and give a warning is perfect). But that’s enough - it doesn’t need him to be kicked out. He probably felt he needed to make light of the situation given he’d had your arse in his face! He didn’t do it the right way, but he had been put in an awkward situation first. The other comment from the cafe is absolutely disgusting, unprovoked in any way and completely deserved being kicked out.

And maybe we all need to be more careful where we put our arses in a soft play place.

Yep. It’s the insult du jour of those who don’t like other women disagreeing with them.

But it wasn't a face sitting comment - it was a comment about how nice your arse is. Those are different things. You've interpreted if sexually, which is really, really odd.

I wonder if OP will be back but if she is, I would like to know how she'd have felt if the man had reported her for shoving her arse in his face. Justified or no?

I think it was unfair to go to staff over something so trivial. Its not their job to police conversations between grown adults.

You’d have said to another woman ‘if I knew I’d get an arse on my face I’d have come here months ago?’

Weird

He made a joke in an awkward moment. You've overreacted.

He apologised, nobody died.

It wasn’t a conversation it was an uninvited sexual comment implying he wanted op to sit on his face.

Which isn’t really any different to ‘whilst you’re down there’ suck my cock.

Suck my cock/ sit on my face.

69 tee hee

I’d have laughed too OP, and can’t believe people are saying he should be banned from soft play. Glad that common sense prevails and the vast majority of posters wouldn’t have been offended!

You've turned a man who made a daft joke into a monster!

It’s not really the same is it, she did put her arse in his face. It was a joke, the majority of people would have found it funny or not been bothered.

Not really, women can like arses too, they can also make jokes

No I haven’t. I don’t think he should have been kicked out either.

But I also don’t think it’s funny or something to be laughed off when men make sexual jokes at women

That sounds very much like a 'you' problem rather than a 'them' problem ('them' being the soft play staff). By all means give the man what for if you're really that bothered, but you can't expect the staff to act as judge, jury and executioner every time somebody gets a bit upset with somebody else over not much.

Aw, how naice!

This is such a hard one because on the one hand he was trying to lighten the mood and make fun of the silly situation you were in and it’s objectively quite funny. On the other, if we don’t call out these micro instances of objectification then the bigger ones get through and we are stuck. The way women’s bodies are seen as fair game, the site of jokes posts into a wider narrative of sexism and misogyny and whilst its easy to scoff and say you’re over reacting, where do we draw the line? When does it become not ok? Is it contextual? Does it depend on your age/attractiveness as to how much of a ‘joke’ it was? I think everyone telling you to unclench is being unfair really. You weren’t happy with the situation and that’s important.