To be disappointed with how soft play handled this man

[Playcomment]

I reported an inappropriate sexual comment made by another parent at a soft play area yesterday.

I was climbing down from one of the raised areas with my DS and didn’t realise he was climbing up. I said a polite sorry and he replied not to worry and that if he knew his £10 entry included him getting an arse in his face he would have visited months ago. I challenged him and then reported to staff.

The staff approached me 10/15 minutes later to say they’d spoken to him and he had admitted saying that but was ‘obviously joking’ and he relayed his apologies, so they considered the matter sorted.

Personally, I think he should have been asked to leave. He made me feel extremely uncomfortable and could have gone on to say similar to other parents present.

Thanks. I am. Ditto.

I feel like that’s a lot worse though!

Would it have been ok if he’d said it to a child?

no? Why? Because it’s a sexual comment.

so it’s not ok to say it, full stop.

You do understand that it's acceptable to say some things to an adult that you wouldn't say to a child right? This line of logic is very flawed.

This is one of many examples I read on MN that make me think that we women really do need to learn to stand up for ourselves and rebut these minor sexual aggressions. We are grown-ups and able to stand on our own two feet! Feeling uncomfortable is not the end of the world. The comment was made in an open space with others present, not down a dark alley with no-one else around. 'Amusing but a comment you would have been better not making because it makes you look like a bit of a tosser' with a sarcastic smile would have done the trick.

Typo

Won’t somebody think of the children!!🤦🏻‍♀️

It was a sleazy comment, I’d have made him feel like the slimy git that he was. But no children were harmed, and expecting him to be thrown out is a bit much.

Why is it acceptable to make a sexual comment to a random adult. Op didn’t think it was. So why do you think you can make the decision that it was?

Would it be acceptable in work? If a policeman had said it? If your dad said it?

OP says she called him out, then reported, then wanted him thrown out!

The first bit was more than sufficient

I would’ve said ‘it’s your lucky day then!’

Quite. Telling the staff and wanting him thrown out was overkill.

Woah. Have you contacted the Royal Shakespeare Society or similar to impart your wit.

Don’t be silly! The child wouldn’t have got the joke!

A knock knock is more their level!

That's not what you said though. You said would you say it to a child which is a daft comment because obviously there's lots of things you would say to an adult you wouldn't to a child. It doesn't inherently make something wrong because you wouldn't say it to a child.

That would have made me chuckle. Lighten up.

Sorry, but from how you describe it, I would have found it funny, and taken it at face value as a joke.

Several years ago, when there were still train managers (and a policeman at the station) I had a drunk man chucked off a train for making leud comments towards two young women, that was both not funny and presented as degrading. Your experience sounds very different.

Sorry - I would have laughed too.

Other ‘isms’ are usually meant as a derogatory insult. This situation is different because it was an awkward situation initiated by the woman in question not looking where she was going.

If all he said was "an arse" and not "a woman's arse" or "a fanny" then I don't he was objectifying women.

He could be in a same sex relationship and would have much preferred a male arse.

But that aside, I wouldn't have found it offensive either and would probably have replied in a similar fashion.

What some find amusing others don't. I find this man's comment mildly amusing and also uncalled for but I can also understand that others wouldn't find it amusing in the least.

I’m with you OP. I’d probably have cried and left. What a disgusting sense of humour this man has.

Hate Reform. Found it funny. Any other cliches you want to throw in there, see if maybe you can hit the mark with me on one of them instead? 🙄

This is a completely different comment to the one OP described.
'while you're down there' i dont think many people at all would find amusing, whereas the comment in the OP i can defo see the funny side and wouldn't have expected that man to be asked to leave.

You would’ve cried and left? You need to consider getting some resilience!

I disagree.

as a woman I would have said similar to a male or female if I was the one with an arse plonked in my face.

But that’s the issue imo. It’s always assumed because it’s a man it’s sexualised. Rather than realising there is plenty of woman (as evidence by this thread) that have a similar dry sense of humour.

@Playcomment
It was an inappropriate comment.
The soft play told him it was inappropriate
He apologized and hopefully learned his lesson.
Your question was about how the soft play dealt with it, which I think they did well.