To be disappointed with how soft play handled this man

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I reported an inappropriate sexual comment made by another parent at a soft play area yesterday.

I was climbing down from one of the raised areas with my DS and didn’t realise he was climbing up. I said a polite sorry and he replied not to worry and that if he knew his £10 entry included him getting an arse in his face he would have visited months ago. I challenged him and then reported to staff.

The staff approached me 10/15 minutes later to say they’d spoken to him and he had admitted saying that but was ‘obviously joking’ and he relayed his apologies, so they considered the matter sorted.

Personally, I think he should have been asked to leave. He made me feel extremely uncomfortable and could have gone on to say similar to other parents present.

As an adult woman, and not a ‘cool girl’, I would have had the courage of my convictions to tackle someone I believed to have made a sexual joke towards me directly. I would not have been so callow as to run off to the national minimum wage staff to ask them to do my dirty work. OP, if you believe it, then own it.

The thread is fascinating as it shows how as a society we just accept sexualised comments to women while we absolutely don’t accept other ‘isms.’

I don’t actually blame the man, it’s a cultural thing, but people tee heeing about it - it really isn’t funny.

Not just you, I cringe every time I see it on here.

That’s a much worse comment.

That's a stretch.

As a courageous adult how would you have tackled this offence without the offensive recourse to complaining that our op resorted to, you’ve officially outdone the aggrieved op and proven that you’re morally superior already. Tell us how you’ d tackle the abomination of the arse joke. It’s a teaching moment.

And who do you vote for? Let's hope it's not Greens who think it's OK for men to pretend to be women and go into women's changing rooms or Kier who doesn't know the difference between a man and woman, let alone care about our safety. The irony of the left.

I'm normally quite sensitive to these things but I honestly think that was not so bad. It really depends if he said it in a self-mocking kind of way that still gave you the upper hand (in which case I would probably have laughed) or whether it was delivered with a pervy wink (gross and definitelyin sexual harrasment territory). Only you know the answer to this.

Well, without the word salad, if I were offended, I would actually say so, directly, to the other human being. It’s how I live my life. I find it serves me well. I also find that plain English helps.

Did he report you for shoving your arse in his face ?

It’s absolutely appropriate to report behaviour you feel uncomfortable with to the staff at the establishment. I wouldn’t have personally but suggesting the OP was wrong to do so and immature is really out of order.

It is all in the same sort of category. It’s only a wolf whistle; page three is just a harmless laugh; I’m only joking don’t you know, don’t be so touchy. That’s at one end of the extreme and the problem with ‘harmless’ comments is that it blurs the lines. Sexual comments should just be a no unless you’re 100% sure someone’s OK with that.

I'm interested in hearing the answer to that as well.

Actually it’s the progressive left that have normalized a highly sexualised, exploitative culture through promoting kink, reframing strangling women as breath play, reframing racism as sexualised ‘race play’, defending the exploitation of women through prostitution as ‘sex work’, and destroying women’s basic rights to bodily autonomy, privacy and dignity by attempting to destroy women’s sex based spaces. So if you want to make a political point from this, you really need to take a good hard look at the progressive left.

You seem lovely. Thanks for your input.

I’ve just answered this above. I would address directly. And not rely on national minimum wage employees to do my dirty work for me.

Fuck me, lighten up.

She did. Can no one read? I challenged him and then reported to staff.

She also apologised for accidentally putting her bottom near him I said a polite sorry

Tbh it’s more than I’d have done which is laugh awkwardly and felt embarrassed which is what it was designed to do.

I wonder how much of this is purely your own embarrassment of the bottom and face situation. Which has made you feel uncomfortable, given he made a joke about it.

Aye of course he did 😉

I would laugh a lot and probably made some smart comment back too.

Probably not the nicest comment but not something to get someone thrown out over or to even report.

That’s so funny 😂. I bet the staff had a giggle at that as well!

YABU.

It was likely an awkward situation for him having your arse in his face and he said something awkward in response

I think you need to lighten up. I would have just laughed and shrugged it off… He was, as he said, very clearly joking. Did you want him to get a lifetime ban? Be arrested? Like come on, he didn’t touch you or say anything hugely inappropriate.

He wasn’t referring to face sitting - stop trying to make it sound worse than it was 😂