To be disappointed with how soft play handled this man

[Playcomment]

I reported an inappropriate sexual comment made by another parent at a soft play area yesterday.

I was climbing down from one of the raised areas with my DS and didn’t realise he was climbing up. I said a polite sorry and he replied not to worry and that if he knew his £10 entry included him getting an arse in his face he would have visited months ago. I challenged him and then reported to staff.

The staff approached me 10/15 minutes later to say they’d spoken to him and he had admitted saying that but was ‘obviously joking’ and he relayed his apologies, so they considered the matter sorted.

Personally, I think he should have been asked to leave. He made me feel extremely uncomfortable and could have gone on to say similar to other parents present.

That was clearly a joke. I would have laughed it off

Sorry to disappoint, but I'm afraid I'm incombustible.

I'd have laughed too.

So it'd be fine to say to a 16 year old girl? 17 year old? 18 year old...?

I'm not mocking you.

but you are a master at self-righteous indignation

He didn't though so it's a moot point.

Yes, people excusing and justifying casual misogyny as 'just a joke' does tend to make me indignant.

But if he did....?

Oh FFS. It's a joke. Don't be so precious

What if he and his wife started having sex in the ball pit? It's not what happened so it's not relevant.

You ‘clarified’ in the following post, exactly as I said, then went up to 18-20. If you think an adult male making sexual jokes to a 16 year old is the same as making them to a 40 year old then that says a lot about you, my standards for my 16 year old daughter if I had one would be far higher.

Yes, I went up in age, because I'm wondering when it becomes acceptable.

Really? I have the same high standards for myself as I do for my daughter. I'm sorry that your standards for how you are treated are lower.

You were more misogynistic yourself with this appalling comment :

“The pick mes on this thread are very busy dick pandering”

Some jokes that I’d find funny as an adult, are different to what I’d find funny for a child. I wouldn’t let a 16 year old watch certain tv or movies either. That doesn’t mean my standards for myself are lower, it means I’m an actual adult.

It's interesting that you find that so dreadfully appalling, but not a man saying that he was happy to pay £10 to have OP's arse in his face.

Let me rephrase though, to appeal to your apparent delicate sensibilities: "The women on this thread who have been thoroughly socialised to justify and reify misogyny are all very busy excusing an unsolicited and unwanted sexual joke, in order to pander to the patriarchal order. How distasteful and self-debasing of them."

You've got your dividing line in the wrong direction...

It's fine to say it to an adult (man or woman).

It's inappropriate to say it to a child (boy or girl).

I think OP overreacted completely. The man made a joke, a funny one at that. God, I despair of people having no humour anymore.

But nobody was swimming here, although if I was Anna man said this exact thing I’d still take it for what is is….A JOKE!!!
what age are you that you feel the need to take offence to stupid shit? 😂

So it would be fine to say to an 18-year-old, then? A legal adult?

Why is it okay to say to a woman, but not a teenager? If it's not sexual, then what's wrong with it? And if it is sexual, then why is it okay to make unsolicited sexual comments to someone?

You're not actually trying to listen and understand anyone else's point of view, though, either.

Doesn't sound like it from his comment about how he would have paid for it

I am, but I'm not actually getting any answers that explain why unsolicited (apparently not sexual, according to some people) jokes about a man being happy to pay to get their arse in his face are fine for older women to receive, but not for a 16-year-old (and who knows what age people think it becomes acceptable). Why is a man talking about getting sexual satisfaction about having her arse in his face, something a woman should smile politely at?

It’s boarderline. If it offended you then you absolutely should complain and the staff should speak to him. I don’t think expecting him to be asked to leave was necessary though

It’s boarderline. If it offended you then you absolutely should complain and the staff should speak to him. I don’t think expecting him to be asked to leave was necessary though