AIBU to expect vegan guests to avoid preaching at shared meals?

[maxslice]

I’m a flexitarian. Meaning I have a mostly plant focused diet. But if invited to, say, a work event or a wedding or to dinner at my oldest friend’s parents house, I’ll eat a lot of salad, potatoes, and bread. Maybe even a bit of their chicken or beef roast to not cause offense or awkwardness. So, that’s my choice. I have long term dear friends who are vegans. I respect that. But I want them to contribute an appropriate dish to share with everyone if it’s that’s so important to them. That said, I think they should just eat and shut up. Do what works for them and leave other people alone. Judging and preaching at
your host and other people is bad manners. No matter how passionate you are, there’s no need for that. You don’t persuade people by bullying them. Am I wrong?

I can honestly say that not a single vegan I have ever met has been preachy about it. If anything, they downplay it because they know people will be strangely offended by their choice of diet and lifestyle. The topic only ever comes up when talking about food or animal rights, are they supposed to pretend they eat meat so that they don't get accused of "preaching" about it?

Hard agree.

You would invite someone to your home for a meal and ask them to bring their own main course?! Really??? Some of these posts are beyond odd.

Apart from the ‘male’ bit, this has been my experience too.

I posted about 45 minutes ago. Lighten up.

Another omnivore here who has never heard a vegan or vegetarian preach. It is some meat eaters who need to ‘educate’ others and mock vegans for their choices. It’s like they feel threatened by people who don’t eat meat. And yes it’s always the men.

My kids’ vegan music teacher didn’t tell us for years and I kept giving her milk chocolates for Christmas! I kind of wish she had told me earlier but she just kept it to herself!

It’s good people are getting wise to it. I only wish MNHQ would deal with these obvious goady threads but ‘traffic’. 🙄

Nope. You’re not right. It’s a terrible diet and completely unhealthy.

Exactly, I eat meat, but am happy to cater to whatever dietary requirements my guests have. Hopefully with a dish that will cater for all people. I'm not making a meat one and vegan one, everyone gets the vegan meal

It's obvious they shouldn't preach, but I know many vegans and I'm a vegetarian of 20 something years and I've found that it's people who eat meat who either start a discussion or preach to a vegan or someone who avoids meat. I can't think of one militant vegan and know so many!

Grow up. Most people don't even know I'm vegan because I've never once preached about it.

Based on what? What about it is completely unhealthy? Yes if you live on a diet of UPFs it is but that's applicable to any diet.

Are you arguing that meat is healthy? Specifically pig meat?

Wtf, veganism is self indulgent?

Vegan products are things such as beans, carrots, onion, oats, potatoes, blueberries, lentils, couscous, rice. Then there are upf's out their like chicken nuggets, sausages, fish fingers, pepperoni, salami all of which meat eaters love. But when a vegan upf enters the market all of a sudden that's is the definitition of a vegan diet.

Like that old joke: how do you know someone is vegan? They’ll tell you.

I know - threads like this make me want to start 'I'm a preachy vegan AMA' thread just to be annoying ;)

You posted at 5 am, not 45 mins ago.

Or the fact you're the third person on this thread to quote 'the old joke'.

Because there’s some truth to it!

Are you going to give any details on what your vegan friends have actually said or done? If not, what was the point of this thread?

Well I don’t know what actually happened OP so it is hard to say… but loads of people biting your head off for no apparent reason at all. It seems to me that your point is evidenced in the replies you’re receiving- you eat consciously 95% of the time because you agree with vegetarianism but that you have occasional meat in your diet (for whatever reason) but that is not good enough for the ‘real’ vegetarians here, and you are fair game for shitty comments.

I know who in my circle eats meat too. Does that mean they have preached about it or just that they have told me they do? It seems that when a vegan tells you they are vegan they are preaching, when a meat eater tells you they eat meat, they just tell you. If you are having people over for dinne then yes, you will have to find out what they dietary requirements are. Otherwise you might be feeding coeliac flour. My guess it though that you have precisely zero vegans in your circle.

Based on personal experience? Or just a very lazy trope.

Sorry you are right. Of course I'd provide for them if it was a small group for dinner. I had interpreted (perhaps wrongly) that the OP had in mind a large party of people with a couple of vegans in the mix. In the latter case I might well ask them to bring something if they wanted more than veg and salad.

Yes you are wrong. You have a horrible attitude. Are you saying that your vegan friends should bring their own meals to parties or just shut up and eat whatever is offered? That makes no sense. In what way were they preachy? I am a vegetarian and have friends who are- never seen anyone imposing our views on others. Equally, my friends have never seen my diet as odd or difficult, and there's never any awkwardness about serving veg food.
Also, what's a flexitarian? You just seem to eat all kinds of food. Stop giving yourself some weird title.