To be shocked my friend is using the food bank?

[thatsmeinthecrunchcorner]

I've name changed as possibly outing and I'm fully prepared to be told that IABU, but just wanted to know if I'm understanding the food bank issue here.
Friend has 3 DC, 2 of whom are primary school age. She's never worked due to childcare cost and her DH had his own business, which he sold as they are trying to emigrate to Australia (her parents emigrated there years ago) and he needs to get some specific qualifications so he studies part time and works part time. She told me recently things have been very tight and that she has been using a food bank weekly for the last year. I was really taken back as they get takeaways, the DC get new up to date sports wear and go on days out to theme parks, where they also buy food. They have 'summered' in Australia every year to visit her parents for the 6 weeks holidays. She was saying a few months ago that flights have really gone up this year so they might not go away. I said I understand, we cannot afford a holiday this year so suggested we could do some day trips together with the DC.
Saw her yesterday and she said she's just booked, it was very expensive but "we can't not go, the DC really wants to go". I assumed maybe her parents paid the tickets (she said it was £3.2k) but then she said she'd built up some savings due to not doing a big shop as she was using the food bank now. I was horrified by this, I donate to the food bank as to me it's a lifeline for those who need to feed their family. It's made me think differently of her but maybe AIBU here? DH said the food bank is there for those who need it, she's not doing anything wrong so to speak, but surely it's not there to help people save money for trips abroad?

Ok so I just visited a food bank for the first time two weeks ago. My children and I had recently become homeless, I self referred and was so humbled by the kindness of the volunteers. They popped in a few extra bits for the baby, even gave us toothbrushes as I’d managed to misplace ours in the move. I was anxious about going but I felt no judgement whatsoever and couldn’t believe what I came away with. I cried the volunteers were so lovely there. I never would have thought I’d need such a service coming from so called middle class background, but I guess so many of us are just one illness/relationship breakdown/ job loss away from breaking point. And the food bank has been an incredible lifeline, I’d hate to think people take when there are others desperately in need, hopefully there is more to her story than face value.

AFAIK she only gets state pension as she hasn't worked, been her carer for 33 years.

OP-I think it morally wrong and an abuse of the food bank

Not all food banks are referral only. Those affiliated with the Trussell Trust are, but some smaller local ones are not. There's a food bank project near me (not a community pantry or fridge) with three collection centres and it doesn't require a referral.

You can’t get state pension AND Carer’s Allowance. And the PIP will be paying for the “free” car, so I doubt they’re ’raking it in’ to the levels you’ve wound yourself about.

Why on earth shouldn’t a person with Down’s Syndrome be allowed to do Zumba?

Then the numbers simply aren't adding up. Are you sure they are paying?

I hope you are taking the piss.

So it’s NOT a food bank then. It’s a food pantry set up to help avoid food waste. Anyone can use it! Stop being judgy. Maybe try it yourself.

My friend gets all sorts from ours and often passes things on she won’t use. It is just cheap short dated stuff that would otherwise be thrown away.

Yes, just fare but stay with relatives.

I never said she shouldn't did I?

No it isn't necessarily a community pantry. As I've already said, there's a project near me which runs three food banks. It is clear that they are for those in need and they only give out basic ambient foods that are good for months/years. .

I volunteer for the community fridge in the same area, and what we do is very different. We offer surplus 'on or near best before/use by date' food which would otherwise end up in a skip.

The conversion thing is total bollocks.

Do cafes give out bags of unopened rice/pasta/cereal at the end of the day? I'm not sure why posters are so adamant this is a food wastage scheme?

No it's not. She brought me a T-SHIRT...

Completely agree.

Thanks.

This. It might be a food pantry, so not be a food bank in the strictest sense. But that doesn’t make it right that OP’s friend is going in there on a regular basis and taking food that would be better left for people in genuine need.

You think someone who loses their job should sell all their luxuries then before getting benefits? You really are a nasty piece of work.

The churches and other religious places have non referral schemes that they themselves call a food bank, where there have donation points. There is no sign to my knowledge that states that this food is only for needy, but I think most people would infer that this is the case?

No, never said they should sell anything at all.

In that case what is your problem with your friend using it? It sounds like she is perfectly entitled to do this with that set up.

Do you mean food bank...which needs a referral from a professional who assess you are in need or a community pantry...quite different things

Here is a food bank that is non-referral. Some people on this thread need to apologise and stop insisting that they are right.

Yes, there's a lot of confusion in this thread.
As I say, I'm involved both with food banks and my local community fridge, and there are posters here who are posting complete fallacies with great confidence.

My main voluntary role is to connect people all over the country with their nearest food bank. If the nearest one to them is Trussell Trust, I need to make the official referral. But I'd say that 25% of the time, the nearest food bank does not require a referral.

It's fairly rare for me to find a reliable community pantry/fridge nearby, but I'm always delighted when I do, as it means that the service user doesn't need to feel uncomfortable or ashamed of going there.

Oh ffs a food bank doesn’t need a referrral. Some do. Some don’t 😭 you can make whatever rules you want for your food bank