To be shocked my friend is using the food bank?

[thatsmeinthecrunchcorner]

I've name changed as possibly outing and I'm fully prepared to be told that IABU, but just wanted to know if I'm understanding the food bank issue here.
Friend has 3 DC, 2 of whom are primary school age. She's never worked due to childcare cost and her DH had his own business, which he sold as they are trying to emigrate to Australia (her parents emigrated there years ago) and he needs to get some specific qualifications so he studies part time and works part time. She told me recently things have been very tight and that she has been using a food bank weekly for the last year. I was really taken back as they get takeaways, the DC get new up to date sports wear and go on days out to theme parks, where they also buy food. They have 'summered' in Australia every year to visit her parents for the 6 weeks holidays. She was saying a few months ago that flights have really gone up this year so they might not go away. I said I understand, we cannot afford a holiday this year so suggested we could do some day trips together with the DC.
Saw her yesterday and she said she's just booked, it was very expensive but "we can't not go, the DC really wants to go". I assumed maybe her parents paid the tickets (she said it was £3.2k) but then she said she'd built up some savings due to not doing a big shop as she was using the food bank now. I was horrified by this, I donate to the food bank as to me it's a lifeline for those who need to feed their family. It's made me think differently of her but maybe AIBU here? DH said the food bank is there for those who need it, she's not doing anything wrong so to speak, but surely it's not there to help people save money for trips abroad?

Not a benefit bashing thread at all, I get UC top up, so no high horse here. She calls it a food bank and gets set packs every week, so tea/coffee/pasta/cereal/biscuits type of thing. It's in a church. There's no shame at all in going to a food bank but I feel I would be ashamed if I was taking food and wasn't struggling to feed my DC. That's why I'm asking if AIBU! I'd also be a bit worried to take from community pantry unless there was a major surplus incase someone needed the stuff more than me.

Oh yes of course I know some probably aren't genuine, but I would have thought they'd try to keep it on the QT. The fact she was openly telling us made me think that food banks have widened their net a bit.

OP.

The friend is reducing food waste by frequenting the community fridge/pantry.

Wind your neck in.

I've never heard of an actual food bank that isn't means tested and doesn't require a referral from someone such as a health visitor.

It sounds more like a community pantry/fridge type thing where the focus is on reducing waste and is open to everyone. Even so, you can't do a full shop using it.

Here we go, whether or not the OP is a genuine one or not, people just won’t have it that any food bank recipient is taking the piss.

Same as PIP claimants; they are all
without exception 100% genuine as well.

In your shoes OP, I would think badly of this friend and would tell her so.

I am 90% sure it's not a food bank in the usual "please donate to your local food bank" scenario.

I have volunteered for a decade at both Trussell Trust food banks and local non-referral food banks. They are not giving weekly groceries for a family of five - it's against policy in the former and they don't have the stores in the latter. Fresh food is pretty rare; meat and dairy non-existent.

I think she's mis-naming a community larder or Prevent Food Waste centre. I've used several of these under different schemes. They can be great! Intercepted food meant for landfill, and copious amounts of it!

I have fed our family of 5 for two weeks for £15 (voluntary donation) there plus £30 top up at the supermarket.

I wish people would stop posting things like this - it's hard enough to get donations to food banks without endless online stories about people 'exploiting the system'.

How do you know no one is saving enough in a year to fly to Australia??

How much is it to fly there??
My husband and I saved enough in less than a year to go on a 2 week safari in Africa, which cost around £8,000
so yes it’s doable!!

My sister in-law is the same, expensive hobbies and multiple takeaways, regularly uses the food bank.

I have never used a food bank but know that the church run ones are definitely not referral. It's definitely not a community pantry thing either.

So it's not really a food bank more a Community Shop or an organisation that distributes food that would otherwise be wasted be cause no-one else wants it.

Sorry what?

What is an acceptable length of time to save for australia then?

And of course you can do a family 'shop' at a foodbank. Where do you think people get help from?

Just seems like a daft sweeping statement , perhaps based on your personal experience but certainly not on everyones

Loads of foodbanks run by churches and community groups dont ask for referrals. They operate on trust and sadly it does lead to abuse of them.

A local group near me decided to tighten up and start asking for referrals when it became clear a significant portion of their regulars were not as 'needy' as you'd expect of regular food bank users.

The fact she was openly telling us made me think that food banks have widened their net a bit.

Oh for the love of god, @thatsmeinthecrunchcorner , they are NOT widening their net.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to meet demand in this financial climate?? Rules are being tightened, not loosened, because we can't feed all the people who need help.

In addition, what you get from a food bank will keep you alive, but it's the absolute basics and not a diet anyone who isn't on the bones of their arse would choose.

She calls it a food bank and gets set packs every week, so tea/coffee/pasta/cereal/biscuits type of thing

Lol, how much do they eat that this has saved them enough money to fly to Australia?

She can't really need it if she can afford tickets to Oz for her family... 🙄

This. She’s either lying or she’s using a social supermarket or organisation which wants to prevent food being wasted. There is zero chance she’d get 52 referrals in a year. Usually no more than six.

I'm a long term MN and can't recall any threads like this, hence why I asked.
She's not getting any fresh food. It's dried non perishable stuff like pasta, rice, tinned stuff and cereal type bars and biscuity stuff for lunch boxes.

Why dont you just say something to your friend?

not necessarily. the one near me is a dropping off place for near date and over date food and literally ANYONE is welcome to use it.

How do the community pantries work? Could someone or a group just go in and clean it out in five minutes flat!

Is it a food bank or a community kitchen (to help stop food waste)? Our local community kitchen takes great pains in making people aware that it is for people on any income, as people assumed it was for people in need, so lots of food was going to waste.

I'm assuming she means saving enough by using a food pantry and not a supermarket not just saving in general.

Honestly, I'd be embarrassed to bring it up. That's why I'm asking here if this is considered ok, my idea of struggling is not being able to set funds aside for flights, but maybe this is just me?! She does view the yearly trips as essential....

You seem to know an awful lot about both the food bank she is using and her famiily’s finances. How long would it take to use the money saved getting basic dry goods for free to save up for a family trip to Australia?

I volunteer at a food bank and we get all kinds of people from the homeless who will take a few granola bars and turn their nose up at the rest to single adults who try to steal extra tins when you turn around to normal families who will put cereal back because it’s not branded Kellogg.

Nowt so queer as folk.