To be shocked my friend is using the food bank?

[thatsmeinthecrunchcorner]

I've name changed as possibly outing and I'm fully prepared to be told that IABU, but just wanted to know if I'm understanding the food bank issue here.
Friend has 3 DC, 2 of whom are primary school age. She's never worked due to childcare cost and her DH had his own business, which he sold as they are trying to emigrate to Australia (her parents emigrated there years ago) and he needs to get some specific qualifications so he studies part time and works part time. She told me recently things have been very tight and that she has been using a food bank weekly for the last year. I was really taken back as they get takeaways, the DC get new up to date sports wear and go on days out to theme parks, where they also buy food. They have 'summered' in Australia every year to visit her parents for the 6 weeks holidays. She was saying a few months ago that flights have really gone up this year so they might not go away. I said I understand, we cannot afford a holiday this year so suggested we could do some day trips together with the DC.
Saw her yesterday and she said she's just booked, it was very expensive but "we can't not go, the DC really wants to go". I assumed maybe her parents paid the tickets (she said it was £3.2k) but then she said she'd built up some savings due to not doing a big shop as she was using the food bank now. I was horrified by this, I donate to the food bank as to me it's a lifeline for those who need to feed their family. It's made me think differently of her but maybe AIBU here? DH said the food bank is there for those who need it, she's not doing anything wrong so to speak, but surely it's not there to help people save money for trips abroad?

food banks, by definition, provide emergency food support to those in financial hardship. Food pantries/social supermarkets/food shares do not.

You said she gets pasta, tea, coffee & biscuits from there. That isn't facilitating flights to Australia.

The list is not exhaustive. She said herself the money she is saving on weekly shop has enabled her to save for flights.

Really? I know nothing. Ok if you say so.

I'm now the richest I've ever been with an income still under 20k.

And that's household income as it's be way way over 25 years that I had another adult helping out with costs, and not a penny ( well £10 over 15 years in child maintenance)

I was also a3 care leaver having to support myself, work and pay my own bills at 18

Please tell me my " privilege"

I find it hard to believe that a food bank is providing enough weekly to enable enough savings for flights to Australia.

I think it must be a community pantry. They were set up to prevent food waste and anyone can use them. Food banks usually need a referral eg from DWP, social services etc.

The poster you were answering was totally correct in that it is absolutely ludicrous to assume that OP's friend is supplementing her 'weekly' shop at a 'food bank' or what is more likely a 'community pantry' to the degree that would allow her to save enough money for flight's anywhere, let alone long haul to Australia!! 🙄
As for not being able to afford 'nice things' on benefits I might hazard a guess that you have not had need to rely on the welfare state at any time for your existence because if so you would know only to well that the amounts allocated are often inadequate, not fit for purpose and a balancing act is still needed as to what the money gets spent on!
We should also remember that a massive proportion of Universal Credit is given to those actually 'in work' which says much about the overall low level of pay in this country if many employees still need government assistance just to survive?! 😥
Unless you are scamming the system in some way, for PIP or DLA for instance, for most people life on any 'benefits' is no bed of roses' and certainly NOT something to aspire to by choice!😡

We have a community larder and the entire community is encouraged to use it, regardless of financial position. It’s just as much about avoiding food waste as anything else. It’s a great idea and there should be no stigma attached to using it.

Your throw away comment that 'its available to all then' since surely you realise that not 'all' have the means to travel 20 mins to pick up from a middle class village hall. No buses, no car, taxi too expensive, it's really not hard to see why some people cannot access that, is it! You should understand then, rather than glibly stating 'it's available to all then'.

Fortunately, care leaders are now given help and assistance that others might find from families to attempt to redress their harder start.

And as I also said people would need transport to but food and go to work anyway ( plenty of food bank users work)

I remember when my kids were small there was a free playscheme but it wasn't available to be simply as I lived in the " wiring" postcode as I live in " non deprived" bit. Still had no more money than anyone in the area it covered.

That's what I mean about the food bank " open to all"

I could easily have got to the playscheme but was forbidden due to postcode.

Yup- definitely the new ‘cancel the cheque’😂

Unfortunately there will always be selfish and greedy people who will do anything for a freebie. I would be very unimpressed too.

Get off your high horse. Food banks in my area give away generous amounts of food to those using them, and with the cost of food in the UK now, it is absolutely possible to be saving £50/£60 a week by using them. Over time that adds up. The OP didn’t say it was the only way she saved for flights to Australia, she said supplemented and if she is saving £200 a month by using a food bank instead of buying that in a supermarket then yes, she would be supplementing her flights to Australia quite heavily.

Secondly re benefits, you are clearly one of the people I was referring too.
I used to work in an industry that meant I needed to review the accounts of thousands of people on a weekly basis. Alot of those were on benefits, and a lot were able to afford very nice holidays (sometimes multiple) and other things that most working people I know including myself cannot. It’s very naive to think that every one on benefits is struggling when it’s a well known fact (based on actual data, and my own extensive personal experience) that that’s not true. Will some be struggling, absolutely, but a lot/heading towards the majority aren’t which is why we have fit and healthy adults choosing not to work in favour of receiving benefits.

I know a family who own several horses and rent land to keep them on, who use food banks quite often. My old neighbour also used to ask for a lift to the food bank when she’d spent all her money on fags and booze…just some people’s priorities I guess.
I couldn’t imagine being like this as I’d probably sell half the contents of my house and allsorts before I used one. There seems to be quite a few people who put ‘luxuries’ ahead of essentials

Fair comment...and one which backs up my attitude to charitable giving. I always do the homework before committing.

At my old foodbank ..two sisters who were regulars asked me if we had any factor 50 suntan lotion. I said we did but joked that in October she may not need factor 50. “Don’t be daft she said, me and my sister have been saving and we are off on a 21 day Caribbean cruise”.

And I will never give money to food banks again just to make sure that the vast majority of those in need receive no help because of the odd few who take the piss. 🙄

I will be really happy knowing that those who are in true need receive less help so that my self righteous ire about those few piss takers is justified.

I hope you take similar big action towards all the (far more expensive) white collar crime too. Bet you don’t. In fact, the ones who take huge umbrage about charity piss takers don’t give to charity at all.

Is that message for me ?