To be shocked my friend is using the food bank?

[thatsmeinthecrunchcorner]

I've name changed as possibly outing and I'm fully prepared to be told that IABU, but just wanted to know if I'm understanding the food bank issue here.
Friend has 3 DC, 2 of whom are primary school age. She's never worked due to childcare cost and her DH had his own business, which he sold as they are trying to emigrate to Australia (her parents emigrated there years ago) and he needs to get some specific qualifications so he studies part time and works part time. She told me recently things have been very tight and that she has been using a food bank weekly for the last year. I was really taken back as they get takeaways, the DC get new up to date sports wear and go on days out to theme parks, where they also buy food. They have 'summered' in Australia every year to visit her parents for the 6 weeks holidays. She was saying a few months ago that flights have really gone up this year so they might not go away. I said I understand, we cannot afford a holiday this year so suggested we could do some day trips together with the DC.
Saw her yesterday and she said she's just booked, it was very expensive but "we can't not go, the DC really wants to go". I assumed maybe her parents paid the tickets (she said it was £3.2k) but then she said she'd built up some savings due to not doing a big shop as she was using the food bank now. I was horrified by this, I donate to the food bank as to me it's a lifeline for those who need to feed their family. It's made me think differently of her but maybe AIBU here? DH said the food bank is there for those who need it, she's not doing anything wrong so to speak, but surely it's not there to help people save money for trips abroad?

I would wind my neck in if I were you. She might be putting on a front and she actually really needs it.

Hmmm yeah - she's got front all right.

Hi.

I ran a trussel trust foodbank outlet where you need a voucher for about a year. I cannot tell you the surplus of food we had. I have never donated to one since. You want to see the amount of stock supermarkets give.

We have these community foodbanks. You pay £7 and get the same stuff you would with a voucher and then you can buy other stuff really cheap. Like steaks for 50p. They freeze the meat. I even got fortnum and mason stuff once!

Open your eyes, your cheap tin of beans is a drop in the ocean to the massive amounts of food the supermarkets get rid of to them. I encourage everyone to look up their community pantries and take advantage of the cheap food on offer. The supermarkets take the piss, get something back and stop food waste.

Sorry foodbank isnt what you thought it was and you don't feel as good for giving that tin of beans now., which is what the actual problem is here.

I also buy cheap pet food off people who are selling it on behalf of animal rescues who have too much food and would prefer the cash. Helps me, helps them.

Get over yourself.

But the don't rely on the goodwill of others. They rely on supermarkets giving away the stuff they would otherwise bin as a charitable donation. It is to do with food waste. Do yoj hinestly think that people donating a few tins here and there keep this going? No, supermarkets donate huge amounts of food every single day, that is what keeps these running.

You really think you are very moral don't you. Well chucking food away when it can be eaten just because people can afford to buy it is hugely immoral and i think yoj need to take a good hard look at yourself OP because you have a very daily mail view of the world.

This is why I don’t donate to the food bank. So many people making other choices and using the food bank as a crutch.

I know this as I’m a referrer to food bank and see this daily.

Quite shocked at the number of people who think food banks aren't exploited. I make referrals & 90% of the time it's due to misappropriation of family funds. And far more often than not, it's unearned funds that were expressly meant to be spent on the children. But there's no way we're going to watch children go hungry because of parents' actions, so they get their voucher every time.

Haven't read the whole thread but what struck me was that a family with a part time working dad and a stay at home mum is probably on a very low income.

It does seem a bit surprising that they can splash over 3k on flights - are you sure you got that right? Maybe they have very low housing costs or something. Or parents helped them.

Food banks ... other posters have said it all really. Some of them (as well as schemes like Olio) can end up with far too much surplus and struggle to disperse it. It's better that it is used by people, even not especially hard up ones, rather than going into landfill. Our former NDN who had a sporadic income used to get stuff from Olio and if it was more than he could eat, he'd pass it some onto us. I'd get a text to say he'd left a bunch of bananas and two loaves of tiger bread on our garden wall. We definitely aren't "in need" but ate it happily. Should we have not?

Haven't a clue what criteria you have to meet to use a food bank but she's surely taking the pee?!! Obviously no morals about 'stealing' from those more needy! Years ago where I live the queue outside the cut price supermarket was full of expensive cars....!

There are community pantries in some very rich areas. Nice villages with a middle income demographic with their village halls and volunteers grabbing food donations from supermarkets, so less available for more deprived areas. A local village to me on the Somerset Devon border gets huge amounts of free food from supermarkets several times a week. Meanwhile, the nearest town with real deprivation doesn't have anything more than a food bank for the very poor. Its the new way of grabbing freebies for well off people.

Are the townspeople forbidden to get food from these places?

They don’t need to find out about it. If they care about the sort of use OP describes there are many policies and processes they can put in place to stop people doing this.

It does seem a bit surprising that they can splash over 3k on flights - are you sure you got that right? Maybe they have very low housing costs or something. Or parents helped them.

A good chance that the grandparents help with flights. And one of the reasons they "summer" there is presumably because they're hosted for free and don't need to pay for most food and utilities.

Flying long haul to see family is very common, even in low income areas. That's the childhood of most immigrant children. Scrimping and saving from everyday life to afford a plane ticket for the summer.

No, they are more of a community fridge / pantry type thing.
They are mainly used to prevent waste.
There used to be one next to our local Tesco. We also have a non referral one near us where if you are on certain benefits you can buy a bag of shopping for a small sum , £5 I think.
Is she on benefits ? Also if her husband is part time how old are her kids ? Could she not get a part time job ?

If they have access to transport and travel the 20 mins then no. Costs to get there though.

I've seen highly paid individuals make daily visits for free food who dont care, that if it wasn't grabbed by the privileged village volunteers who can afford fridges and lovely town hall to distribute from are taking from the real poor in deprived areas. Greed.

She is just a grifter.

I don't have any issues with low income people booking flights to see family, but I wouldn't be expecting them to be using the food bank in order to facilitate this.

There’s an awful lot of people here who have friends who claim social supports of various types.

Some of these take expensive flights to expensive destinations wearing designer gear and displaying their worked on faces and high priced lipstick…

I was on social supports for a couple of years after ex left the country to avoid child support and I got cancer and had to stop working.

I never went anywhere, bought clothes from thrift shop and bought food from the ‘cheap near sell by date’ counter.

Now, years later, I’m back on my feet but have never met anyone able to afford what OP describes- unless of course, they’re criminals and why would anyone be friends with them?

Honestly why do people keep talking about rich areas? You sound like such bootlickers. Very few places in the uk are exclusively “rich” and you can bet they don’t have community fucking pantries

If it was a food bank referal she was using then id say she was massiveky taking advantage
BUT..... the mon referal places are usually community places to reduce food waste and are open to anybody so shes actually doing a good thing by helping reduce food waste and saving herself a few quid.
We have one near us, i don't go often as the opening hours are limited and I have work but its great for people who can amd saves so much food from landfill.
We have a factory nearby that produces food like pies and stuff for m&s and if theyre not quite perfect they would get binned! Now they get donated and local people get to enjoy a slighty cracked free m&s pie for tea xx

Heh heh heh.

Capitalism works on grifting. This is just a reflection of our economic system. Poor people maximising their limited advantage via morally dubious means = bad. Rich people doing the same = allegedly "investing in the economy" but actually vampiring off it. One rule for me, one rule for thee.

Typical of the hypocrisy around these days. They are literally taking the food out of kids mouths.

Well then it's open to all. I did read that there are Loads of working people using food banks so obviously they need transport for work. And often transport to buy food never mind getting it for free

I have volunteered in 2 foodbanks, still at the current one now . The first I left as there was little real need but the people who were using it were long time users who were very comfortable taking donated food in order to use their money in different ways. The official referral system was not adhered to. Donations would come in envelopes from people who had a Bob or two and felt like they were doing their bit. This, I thought was a transaction where all were satisfied. The problem came when I saw people that I knew who had very little money donating food or money in the belief that they were helping people in great need.
I left, explaining why and started volunteering at another foodbank that is run how it should be.

Yes she is on UC, as am I. I'm not sure how/why she is not working as her youngest child is in school, I think she might get fit notes but that is not my concern.

In response to a pp, I don't think I'm the most moralistic person, I thought I had a very basic benchmark. Whilst most are in agreement, it would appear that a small minority think she isn't doing anything wrong

It's providing free food on a regular basis to people who have plenty of money. Its taking away from communities with little money or resources. Im guessing you use one of these free food for the privileged then.

Typical privileged response from you to 'its 20 minutes if they can get there' with your 'it's available to all then' 😂 Those with cars, who can afford fuel, yes, not all can. Bus routes in the countryside are not great. . You've shown you know very little about poverty 🙄 try working with people from really deprived areas, it's eye opening.

It’s baffling!! I would say something to her if she were my friend but I understand others are different.