To be shocked my friend is using the food bank?

[thatsmeinthecrunchcorner]

I've name changed as possibly outing and I'm fully prepared to be told that IABU, but just wanted to know if I'm understanding the food bank issue here.
Friend has 3 DC, 2 of whom are primary school age. She's never worked due to childcare cost and her DH had his own business, which he sold as they are trying to emigrate to Australia (her parents emigrated there years ago) and he needs to get some specific qualifications so he studies part time and works part time. She told me recently things have been very tight and that she has been using a food bank weekly for the last year. I was really taken back as they get takeaways, the DC get new up to date sports wear and go on days out to theme parks, where they also buy food. They have 'summered' in Australia every year to visit her parents for the 6 weeks holidays. She was saying a few months ago that flights have really gone up this year so they might not go away. I said I understand, we cannot afford a holiday this year so suggested we could do some day trips together with the DC.
Saw her yesterday and she said she's just booked, it was very expensive but "we can't not go, the DC really wants to go". I assumed maybe her parents paid the tickets (she said it was £3.2k) but then she said she'd built up some savings due to not doing a big shop as she was using the food bank now. I was horrified by this, I donate to the food bank as to me it's a lifeline for those who need to feed their family. It's made me think differently of her but maybe AIBU here? DH said the food bank is there for those who need it, she's not doing anything wrong so to speak, but surely it's not there to help people save money for trips abroad?

Come on now. Can you evidence your claim please?

community pantries are mostly filled with leftovers from cafes and shops that they can’t sell at the end of the day. Would you rather the stuff goes to landfill? Go check it out I bet you’d be surprised, the ones by us there is always so much going spare and most gets thrown away. It’s a totally legitimate and actually environmentally sound way of saving the pennies.

If she’d misrepresented herself to get a pass at an actual food bank that would be wrong, but this, nah. It’s all leftovers.

It's impossible to say without knowing the aim of what the church is offering.

If the church clearly advertises it for people who are struggling to feed themselves, she can feed herself and is obviously wrong to use it.

If the church says that it is for people in the community to share food and reduce waste, I don't see the issue.

If the church says that it is for people on UC and she's on UC, I also don't see the issue to be honest.

As I said, those who are desperate will get referrals to referral only food banks.

Why do people keep saying this? It’s not like “food bank” is a protected title guaranteed to meet a certain definition. Religious and commmunity groups have been running food banks outside of a referral system for centuries

But then it’s not a food bank. It’s a community. Pantry. For the community. Anyone who wants it. Because the christians and the hari krishnas want to tempt people in to convert them.

It's highly unlikely she's using it weekly. Questions are asked if people use it more than a few times in a set period because it might mean they're not getting the support they need. Is she self referring? All sounds very unlikely I'm afraid.

This has to be made up.

Their only income is from hubby’s part time work so you would expect them to need to use the food bank cos how can you survive otherwise.

using a food bank to intentionally save for flights for a year just doesn’t seem like something someone would do, right?!

You do know that she could work and still be entitled to the same amount of PIP? It isn't an out of work benefit.

Well it kind of is a specific term. Food banks are referral only. The kind of setups where religious groups offer free food are always always free for everyone. Sure, they want to reach the poor but if a rich person wants to come and get some free soup and learn about Jesus, that’s the objective.

The one by us is run by hippies with the idea of reducing food waste. They don’t care if rich people take the food they just don’t want it in the bin.

Yes I do but is it right that they can go to Australia twice when some poor working families can't even afford a holiday here? Not right. Shameless anyway.

Get nige to sort it out, that’s the spirit.

A lady I worked with decided to get invisalign braces on monthly finance knowing she couldn't afford it, and as a result used the food bank a few times a month so she could keep doing the braces.

My DM also lives in an apartment that backs onto a food bank and multiple people regularly turn up and collect bags of food and go outside in the car park out back, rifling through the bags taking out what they don't want and throwing it into the large waste bins that are for her apartment block. Instead of taking it back inside!

Don't care if this sounds like bashing, its my own experience and I won't suppprt food banks until this sort of behaviour is going on.

@baileys6904 i think she means has been able to save for Oz with the money she has saved on groceries

By ‘not right’ i assume you mean ‘not mathematically likely’?

maybe get a little calculator and work out what UC actually is, what a part time salary would be, what rent is and what would be leftover and see if you can make £20/£30 a week saving on food tally up to £3.2k in a year.

Cos those numbers aint adding up.

I agree. I also volunteer for Trussell Trust. People can't go every week for all their food. They have to be referred by another agency and get a 3 day emergency pack. Those who do come more frequently are encouraged to seek help from Citizens Advice (there is always someone from CA) or from other agencies supporting people with benefits, homelessness, debt, domestic violence etc. The packs are comprised of tinned and dried goods, tea bags and long life milk. Bread and vegetables may also be available if donated by supermarkets but the quantity and variety varies from week to week.

I can't say I'm 100% certain nobody ever takes advantage but that's worth the risk. I can say nobody is doing what @thatsmeinthecrunchcorner says her friend is doing and using it as their weekly shop.

I know they just got back, second time. I mean shouldn't be possible, she owns the house so no rent. Life of Riley..

I helped set up a food bank about 15 years where they were very new, I was also on a regional food crisis committee looking at the issues facing people wit( rising costs.

Trussell trust need a referral and are the main food bank people. You need to pay to actually use their name and it’s a sort of franchise. It’s supposed to be 3 uses though they can make an exception in an emergency.

Then there are independant food banks, they set their own criteria

Then there are community pantries

@whatonearthdoidoz It could be classed as a food bank if she pays nothing community pantries generally have a small fee.

‘

Not really. As I said my company sponsors a small number of local non referral food banks, and I know the convent in the city I grew up operates a food bank without referral.

It’s not the same as hairi Krishna, who offer you a meal, not a box of food to take away .

Blimey and I thought your post was tongue in cheek. Down syndrome daughter likely with health issues if not working and you think she should be on a subsistence level Have a bloody word with yourself!

Maybe it is the pension covering the cost if it's a good pension? It isn't going to be PIP alone and definitely not carers allowance.

I still think this is jokes.

The one my local church runs is definitely referral based

Would you swap your shoes for hers?

They've actually asked me as well as they've got stuff going spare. As an aside, I appreciate an Australian holiday is certainly a luxury but her parents are there.