To be shocked my friend is using the food bank?

[thatsmeinthecrunchcorner]

I've name changed as possibly outing and I'm fully prepared to be told that IABU, but just wanted to know if I'm understanding the food bank issue here.
Friend has 3 DC, 2 of whom are primary school age. She's never worked due to childcare cost and her DH had his own business, which he sold as they are trying to emigrate to Australia (her parents emigrated there years ago) and he needs to get some specific qualifications so he studies part time and works part time. She told me recently things have been very tight and that she has been using a food bank weekly for the last year. I was really taken back as they get takeaways, the DC get new up to date sports wear and go on days out to theme parks, where they also buy food. They have 'summered' in Australia every year to visit her parents for the 6 weeks holidays. She was saying a few months ago that flights have really gone up this year so they might not go away. I said I understand, we cannot afford a holiday this year so suggested we could do some day trips together with the DC.
Saw her yesterday and she said she's just booked, it was very expensive but "we can't not go, the DC really wants to go". I assumed maybe her parents paid the tickets (she said it was £3.2k) but then she said she'd built up some savings due to not doing a big shop as she was using the food bank now. I was horrified by this, I donate to the food bank as to me it's a lifeline for those who need to feed their family. It's made me think differently of her but maybe AIBU here? DH said the food bank is there for those who need it, she's not doing anything wrong so to speak, but surely it's not there to help people save money for trips abroad?

If people are indeed "taking the piss", then do genuine users of foodbanks suffer?

I find it odd that some people refuse to donate to them in case someone gets a bag of shop brand goods that did not really need them.

That is like refusing to be an organ donor in case your liver goes to an alcoholic.

The community fridges are a great way of saving food going to landfill. We have a local one run by a bunch of volunteers me included. We also sell any plants and flowers we pick up from the supermarkets at a minimal cost. This helps with the running costs. They're a great idea and I really can't understand why people are so snobby about them.

Yep, there is one local to me. They mainly have stuff with short dates like bread, and veg too. Or stuff from local shops that was reduced but still did not sell. AFAIK food banks do not give short date stuff to people, or stuff that is going is BB/UB that day.
They also have flowers, and they do have long life parcels for people in need too.
There was a thread a while back where OP's DH was using a community pantry and it gave her the "ick" because they are meant to be for people in need... which is not true. Still had people saying that the pantry's only say they are for everyone so the people in need do not feel ashamed.
My local one begs anyone to come take bread otherwise it gets binned.

It does seem to be a thing now where I live, pearl clutching how terrible life has become when they privately have over 1 mill invested…

🤦‍♀️

our DC went to a school that had breakfast club. One of my DD’s friends and her brother used it, however there was 2 decent incomes coming into the home. Apparently it was because Mum told the kids (who were actually old enough) to make their own lunches and they didn’t. The schools are not allow to dictate who has the need and who doesn’t, so they were included into the count of children in need…

Your friend is a CF

This. A typical food bank parcel is probably £15-20 worth, tops.

This - totally agree with you OP, food banks should be for people who need them not for saving for expensive holidays that taking the piss.

You are wrong here. The church food banks DO need a referral - you get a code from either a GP, social services or other related bodies and you can only use it 3 times in 6 months where I live.

At least get your facts straight.

Also, I bet money on it that her parents paid for the flights. Or at least heavily contributed.

My church food bank requires a referral - you need a code given by a relevant body. This is facts - I know because I volunteer there.

So nothing to do with RTFT.

The one near me doesn't

Thanks to this thread I just found my local food pantry. Can't wait to go get some free food, make a donation and be smug about reducing food waste. 😋

Well that is exactly my point.

How can you and @thatsmeinthecrunchcorner be sure she is using YOUR foodbank?

You spoke in absolute terms:
"The number of people who haven't RTFT seems particularly high on this thread. The OP has explained the type of food bank - church run, no referral required, not a community pantry."

And you accused people of NRTF which is really patronising.

There are all sort of different set ups for food banks.

You can't possibly make such a bold statement that they all don't need referrals. Which is why people should not judge other people's circumstances. Someone presenting with domestic violence my get vouchers a different way from someone who is a bit short of money. There are processes behind how the food is allocated. As I said, I volunteer at one - I know this.

What??? WHERE exactly have I told people to RTFT. Or said all the things you are attributing to me?

My local church, which isn't the one my friend goes to, does not need a referral. Either does the mosque, nor the temple. Just because your church does, doesn't mean they all do. Plenty are setting up foodbanks and relying on the goodwill of others to help the local community.

I am sorry @Thechaseison71

It was @Justsaynonow who said RTFT.

I am sorry for misquoting you @Thechaseison71

Well yes, quite possibly directly if there is a scarcity of food. Also, it is the right of the donor to know that the food goes where they were told it would go - otherwise they have had their right to choose taken
away from them. I know many people
who have very little and would quite literally give their last penny to someone in need. It’s clearly wrong that they should go short thinking they are doing a good deed if their donation goes directly to someone who is in a better position than them. This is basic morality/good practice when running a charity - it shouldn’t need explaining.

Lol. I was beginning to think I was drunk. And I've only had tea tonight lol. No worries

I am on UC, and I often put a tin or two in the foodbank trolley on the way out. After that, it is out of my control.

Then you are a kind and good person and your donation should be managed in a way that respects that. Even if you are not bothered, many other people will be and I was actually thinking that some of these non-referral food banks may damage the reputation of all food banks if people get the impression they are careless about who the food goes to.

But if people get arsy about it, and refuse to donate... the people who really need it suffer.

l cant see how your friend is using a referred to Community Pantry. Unless she has being econoimical with the truth
These places usually provide just basic foodstuffs

There are also Community Pantries which function to reduce food waste and a genearlly a good idea.And anybody xan use them

However, where l live there are also a number of Foods Banks whch a lot of local.people think they are litrallly being taken for a ride

Posted before. About a particular one where people in very expensive luxury cars queue and cause traffic probkems to wait to shop. These are not Mobility Cars by the way

Also widely used on a regualar basis by people with substance abuse problems. Then take the food to a local pub and then sell it to get money for more drink and drugs.

I kniw nothing about your friend but she sounds like a real taker.Met many peoplw like this over the years likevbthis And l xant see things changing any rime soon

Your church food bank does. The church food bank in this case does not.

I find food banks for our service users every week. Many food banks are housed by churches. Some are under the Trussell Trust umbrella and require a referral. Some are independent and don't.

Long life milk? Tinned meat/fish? Some people don’t eat meat.People that actually completely rely on food banks do exist.

And how would they find out about it

You are judgmental. It's none of your business yo get involved and keep tabs on your so called friend about her finances. Plenty of families struggle. Maybe she needs to go without for the greater good to join her parents in Australia. It sounds like your friend and her DH are doing everyrhing possible to make that happen. So what if they need to use a foodbank, plenty of people do who work and who don't work. I'd want to get far away from you if you were my so valled friend.