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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report my ex’s relationship with teacher to the school

236 replies

Yasminaschool · 08/06/2026 18:09

I have changed my user name for obvious reasons.

Ex and I have a very fractious relationship, despite my best efforts to keep things civil for our child’s sake. He has become increasingly nasty in recent weeks and is rubbing his new relationship in my face.

I’ve found out through a third party that the woman he is seeing is a teacher at our child’s primary school. My ex repeatedly denied this when I asked him but at the weekend admitted to this and sent me a string of gloating messages including graphic description of what she lets him do (stuff I was never keen on) and how he feels alive again after many miserable years. He said they both laughed when he told her about our lack of sex life. Really hurtful.

I know I shouldn’t but I really want to retaliate. My friend has suggested that a teacher needs to declare any relationship with a parent and that I should contact the school to raise this.

Is this too petty? Any other suggestions for revenge?

OP posts:
LadyLooo · Yesterday 19:11

RedToothBrush · Yesterday 16:23

The issue here for the school is that the teacher is vulnerable.

If this has been shared with the OP who else is he sharing with.

I wouldn't be reporting the teacher for a relationship. I would be informing the school that the teacher was in a vulnerable position - and potentially open to being blackmailed sexually for example.

I would stress that if the teacher is happy with the relationship that was fine by me but the school/teacher should be aware of how she might be put into a position which was problematic and you have concerns about how this might ultimately impact on your child if it was made public.

WTF?

Of course she's not vulnerable.

Her new bloke has told his ex about their sex life.

The end.

Littlemisssunshine1982 · Yesterday 19:23

If anything I’d go to the teacher herself show her the messages and let her know that he is telling you about her sex life

itgetsthehoseagain · Yesterday 19:26

Littlemisssunshine1982 · Yesterday 19:23

If anything I’d go to the teacher herself show her the messages and let her know that he is telling you about her sex life

Oooh, this. Definitely this.

pouletvous · Yesterday 19:31

Screen shot that message. Send it to the teacher

Kerensa70 · Yesterday 20:12

All personal feelings aside any relationship with a parent of a child in a school you work in, is a safeguarding issue and should be disclosed to the school. She should have done this already but I would make an appointment to see SLT in the school. This is not revengeful or spiteful. I am SLT in a primary school.

Wingingit73 · Yesterday 20:22

You both sound terrible.

MmeDubois7 · Yesterday 21:58

Report her for what?

Cosyblankets · Yesterday 22:02

Yasminaschool · 08/06/2026 18:36

Sounds like a ‘relationship’ based on cheap shags and little else.

It really is none of your business.

ElvirRamcic · Yesterday 23:22

Unless she’s a nun, I wouldn’t report it.

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · Today 03:23

If there is a school policy about parents dating teachers then definitely report him straight away.

Otherwise, bide your time. He is a real shithead for sending you those messages. I think his new girlfriend may tumble to what he is really like. Sooner rather later.

He's not a great catch. Is he.

Don't delete the messages. You never know,may need them in the future

mumsntt · Today 03:48

grow up

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