To report my ex’s relationship with teacher to the school

[Yasminaschool]

I have changed my user name for obvious reasons.

Ex and I have a very fractious relationship, despite my best efforts to keep things civil for our child’s sake. He has become increasingly nasty in recent weeks and is rubbing his new relationship in my face.

I’ve found out through a third party that the woman he is seeing is a teacher at our child’s primary school. My ex repeatedly denied this when I asked him but at the weekend admitted to this and sent me a string of gloating messages including graphic description of what she lets him do (stuff I was never keen on) and how he feels alive again after many miserable years. He said they both laughed when he told her about our lack of sex life. Really hurtful.

I know I shouldn’t but I really want to retaliate. My friend has suggested that a teacher needs to declare any relationship with a parent and that I should contact the school to raise this.

Is this too petty? Any other suggestions for revenge?

Do you have that little self respect?

People can take this any way they want

I would screenshot his messages and show her, over the head

You just sound really bitter and jealous. So what if he’s moved on? Why don’t you do the same.

While I don’t think you should get revenge I would be worried about the impact on the children . So ye si would contact teh head teacher her and speak about your concerns

In that case it's not a relationship and you'd be a fool for reporting it. All you'd be doing is making yourself look like a deranged nutjob ex. Does she even know his children go to her school? If I'd just started seeing someone, it was early days and I didn't yet know how far it would go I'd be absolutely FUMING if someone like you reported me just for REVENGE on someone else. You want your children to lose a teacher from their school? You want another woman to lose her job? Have a word with yourself. You're the absolute epitome of psycho jealous ex.

I can see why you'd want to, you're hurt and a bit humiliated. And your ex is being a dick. But it's a bad idea. You'd only end up looking petty and sad, which you're not and you don't need.

The best thing you can do is deep breath big smile and move on. Grey rock him (as pp said above), and try and live your best life (knowing you're well rid of the loser, lucky you!).

Your comment is very over the top, unnecessary.

The school will, rightly, think you are a raging lunatic

Also, you are wildly underestimating not only the playground, where your kids will likely have said they have seen this teacher at their house, or other kids will pick up on them being more familiar, or at the very least staff room gossip, there’s no way she hasn’t mentioned it to a friend or two at work and it’s not spread a little, so you would likely be telling the school something they already know and don’t really give a crap about.

It could be made up bullshit. I found out after we split that my ex told lies to his mates about what I apparently let him do to me. I found out when one of them asked me to do it with them!

This guy obviously knows how to push your buttons. Don’t give him the satisfaction of giving a shit where he puts his dick.

She is apparently laughing too. Ok, we don't know it's true, but when replying to posts I generally believe what the OP says (sure, anyone could lie, but if they want honest opinions, I take it they tell the truth).
And for a woman, going out with a man who has recently broken up his little kid's home, laughing at the sexual behaviour of that child's mother is disgusting. Equally as bad as a man's.
OP, if it's school policy she must declare it, what's wrong with checking she has? If she's as disgusting as you say, you want it on record in case there's any issues.

If a parent of a Year 6 child is dating a teacher at the child's future High School, should the relationship be ended at the end of August, before the child starts there?

And for a woman, going out with a man who has recently broken up his little kid's home,
Why would you assume he broke up the home?

If she's as disgusting as you say
How is this woman disgusting... because she's in a consenting relationship?

I'm a teacher and in no school has it ever been policy to declare a relationship with a parent. So how does your friend know if this features in the staff policy?

If I'm honest it just sounds like you are jealous, it sounds like an awful relationship and would be much more proactive to move on and focus on yourself and your happiness.

I think it's likely you'll cement your position as the crazy ex that's he's probably painted for her and in turn the school.

Your ex sounds like a douche, the teacher might be laughing at your expense and if that's true I feel a bit sorry for her because any man who makes sexual jokes about his ex to the new conquest has more red flags than a commie parade and the teacher seems to be overlooking them.

But she hasn't done anything to you, he has - why try to cause her problems professionally? She's her own person, not an extension of your ex.

If he's that vile, then the poor woman has problems enough. I'd just be glad he is no longer your problem.

What's wrong with a largely sexual relationship?

I’m also questioning why throw the woman under the bus? Would this actually please you? What do you hope to gain exactly? Maybe stop letting this eat up inside and instead let yourself get over it. Nothing good can come from revenge. Would this really make you feel better?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I would say silence/absence of comment might be the better response

This sounds really hurtful, him saying they are laughing about you, and wanting to hurt him back is a natural human emotion. However, this is your kids school, and their comfort and happiness comes before grown up issues. Listen to PP who say you need to step back. Don't engage unless it's about the kids. If he says something disgusting, just ignore it or say 'that's disrepectful of [teacher name]' Show you've risen above it. He'll stop eventually. Either their FWB situation fizzles out, or it becomes a relationship. If the second one, again, this is someone who could be in your kids lives. Don't make things awkwars for your children. It's not their fault and they didn't ask for all this. Adding revenge just causes them future drama and pain.

Are things fractious with yoir ex because you won’t let the relationship go & you are doing things like this frequently.

no you should not report it to the school. this woman wasn’t inbolved in your break up. She also does not need to be a target of your revenge’ she has done nothing to you. Crazy

move on with your own life

He's trying to hurt you. I'm guessing he's making up/exaggerating things to twist the knife. Don't threaten this woman's lovelihood because your ex is a twat.

You also seem to be happy to believe things that the OP has never said. She never said that the break-up was recent or that her ex was the instigator.

And even the OP has no idea if the other woman is only laughing - she only has her ex's say so for that.