To be so pissed off I can’t sleep.

[Emotionstorn]

Context. Me and DD’s father met in 2017. DD
born 2019.

Broke up last year. Reconciling.

Durinf the relationship I put myself on the back burner, we only did stuff if I paid, I bought him clothes etc. he works full time. I paid all the bills.

We live apart now but have been seeing each other and coparenting. Reconciling to an extent.

I get 200 a month CSA. He doesn’t have DD overnight.
He still gets treats off me etc. Has been hounding me to sort DD’s passport out as she’s never been abroad.
I paid the fee. We went to the cinema on Friday paid for by me.
I put petrol in his car. I also do not have a lot of time to myself and virtually no social life as we coparent he doesn’t have DD alone.

He’s messaged me today saying he’s in Benidorm with his friend. I didn’t know anything about this.

I am so upset and hurt.
I know im gonna get harsh comments. I had a very angry dad and an overly critical self absorbed mum so my views on relationships have been skewed. Most men I’ve dated have had issues. I put up with it because I don’t know anything different.

AIBU to be fucking angry at him and myself!
Please give me a shake.

‘You are welcome to take dd on holiday, after you’ve done regular overnights. If you want to request more contact like that do it on the app. All communication is to be about dd or your child support, and via the app.’

end.
have an awesome trip to Berlin! There must be a good book you can read about the best victory is a life well lived that can help you feel you’re getting your justice by blocking him and moving the fuck on because he is an irrelevant gnat on a horse’s arse.

OP you are smashing this huge change - I just love how you’ve embraced “stick a fork in me - I am done” and have run with it.
You will be 1 million times better off without this sponging dick wad in your life financially and emotionally 💪🏻
Go you 🙌🏻

The more he speaks, the more he sounds like a massive cock.

He's now trying to make you feel sorry for him because he's got a hurty leg?

His piss up trip was a trial for a holiday for you and his DD?

What a joker, and what a massive bellend.

Ignore, ignore, ignore

xxx

I’m so proud of you! Xx

Sorry, you asked about how you can enforce a boundary.

You enforce it by not giving in. So you hang up on calls, you block texts, you don't open the door. If they repeatedly come to your door then tell them once if they keep coming back you will call the police (harassment/stalking) and actually do it. You keep saying no.

Toddlers keep throwing tantrums if they know you will give in and abusive men use the same tactics. Both require ignoring. Also learn the art of grey rocking so he doesn't use DD to suck you back in - which means only talk about pick up/drop off times. Nothing else, not even if he asks for money so he can feed DD. If he can't feed her then he can't have her and he can explain to a judge/court why he can't. He. Is. No. Longer. Your. Problem. He is a judge's problem.

Good luck OP, you are starting off strong

You’ve realised you’ve been a mug and twat and doormat so good for being angry - now make a change. Stop doing all this stuff. Now.

Well done OP. Be proud of yourself. But now is an absolutely crucial time. He will be home, broke and want nursing care and will be like the biggest bloodsucking leech ever who realises his usual endless bank card of cash, care and support has been cut off. He will fight to the death to restore the status quo. He will tell you everything you've ever wanted to hear. DO NOT LISTEN! Block. Do not let him wind you up. Be calm. You have seen the light and simply moved on. He will whine and say you are bitter and trying to punish him. Do not even engage. Let him wail whinge, and he will then move to threats probably. Don't forget if he thinks he can't get you (and not actually you but your cash, comfort and anything else he can simply use you for) back he will be very quickly move on to whatever fanny he can latch onto. Cash and low self esteem is what he wants. UUUGHHH. You are worth so much more. Your daughter deserves so much more. Together you can have your adventures without him x