AIBU to think my friend's reaction over trip costs is bizarre?

[mendocino22]

Not sure where/how to even post this, but here goes. Names changed for obvious reasons. My friend (Jane) wanted to do a trip - with me and another girl (Sarah). So three of us.

Sadly, Sarah's father died just over a week ago. It was unexpected and a huge shock. The father lives abroad.

I suggested cancelling/postponing the trip which is in 4 weeks time.

Sarah said that me and Jane should go since we'd all paid for it etc... (Sarah had already paid her share of the accommodation/villa).

Obviously, I don't expect Sarah to be out of pocket - and we are within the cancellation window - where we can cancel without any fees. Jane wants to still go on the trip (just me and her).

I said to Jane that she and I could just get a hotel instead of this villa - since a hotel is a lot easier when there's two of you. She said 'no' and remains completely set on this villa.

I said I'd obviously be happy to pay more given Sarah wasn't coming (since her father died). Jane said she wouldn't be happy to pay extra.

In short; I said I'd be happy to pay for Sarah's share entirely. So basically, I'd pay 2/3 and Jane would pay 1/3 even though there'd just be two of us now.

I said this because Sarah only last week had to pay for a last minute flight since her father doesn't live in the UK and had to rush out of the country.

Jane took this to mean that Sarah was getting a 'good deal' and said if Sarah was getting her share of the accommodation paid for - I should cover Jane's too. Her reasoning for this was because the trip was her (Jane's) idea, she'd done all the planning, restaurant reservations etc... so she felt like she'd done all the legwork.

But to me, why would Sarah be getting a 'good deal' when she wouldn't be paying for a villa she's not staying at?! Also, her father just died!

AIBU to think this is bizarre from Jane?! This is such petty behaviour.

100% cancel it. Do you even want to go on holiday with someone like that? What an awful woman.

Jane is crazy to think that. Are you sure you want to go on holiday with her? Cancel the villa and get a hotel just for yourself maybe?!

I think it was generous of you to offer Sarah her money back. Tbh if the hotel worked out the same cos I don’t think I’d have given Jane the option, I’d have just said “we either cancel the whole thing or switch to a hotel”.

I agree
cancel the villa and I’d cancel/change the flights too she sounds hideous!

Whatta bitch!

Jane sounds unhinged, why on earth would you cover her accommodation costs and how is Sarah getting any kind of ‘deal’ when she’s not going & her dad has died??

I’d say no you’re cancelling the villa and book individual hotel rooms if you decide to go at all, she sounds crazy.

I think you should cancel. Purely because you don't go on holiday without someone after their father has just died. Imagine how she will feel sat at home grieving whilst you two are both on the holiday she was also meant to be on. I would never do this to my friend. Yes told you to go, but honestly she will be in a weird head space at present and would likely in time appreciate the trip away after the funeral and a little space

Jane is delusional… cancel and do something else. YANBU

I can’t follow why you think it’s your responsibility to pay extra to keep a villa you don’t want to go to just to pleas her?

regardless, if you genuinely think paying 2 thirds of a holiday is reasonable, and the person you are calling a friend would allow you to do this, that then you need to wake up.

cop in to yourself she is a selfish motherfucking user

You say Jane is set on the villa

I think that's because she's figured out a way to get you to pay for it

Definitely cancel it so no one's out-of-pocket

Then decide whether or not you want to stay in a hotel with Jane because she sounds weird and kind of horrible

If you are within the cancellation window then Sarah can cancel.

If Jayne is determined to still go a villa then she should pay half.

To be honest though I’d just cancel it. Your friend is either batshit or tight. Neither of these will make for a good holiday.

I would cancel the entire trip now.

I can't work out why someone voted that YWBU. You are being kind to Sarah, Jane is an arsehole.

If I was Sarah I'd say go! go! enjoy the holiday! And if I was Jane I'd say you and I will split the cost of Sarah's bit of the holiday.

Jane sounds awful, so I'd cancel and get a refund rather than go with her.

Cancel and reschedule for a time when Sarah can come as well. Jane is weird to insist on the Villa and to insist you pay for Sarah’s share on your own.

And you are friends with this Jane person why, exactly? She thinks that because you, out of the goodness of your heart, are covering Sarah’s accommodation so that she’s not out of pocket through having to forego the holiday, you should be paying for her accommodation as well? I’d be inclined to tell her to get lost, cancel the villa and stay somewhere you choose (preferably with a friend who isn’t so shockingly unreasonable and grabby).

Why have you needed to come to MN to work out if Jane is unreasonable? She's now expecting you to pay for the entire holiday and you haven't told her to cancel as you won't be going ... you are unreasonable to still even consider going.

I can't believe what I am reading!

Jane is behaving awfully here. What is wrong with her?

Cancel, and rethink the friendship with Jane.

Cancel, Jane sounds like a right charmer.

I wouldn't travel with Jane she sounds appalling

Jane sounds like an unsympathetic CF and I wouldn't fancy a week stuck with her.

Well Jane sounds awful! Cancel and then rebook with just Sarah at a later date as she seems much nicer.

Why are you going on holiday with Jane? She sounds awful!

Couldn’t agree more! OP, come on - take a long look at what you’ve written. Surely you can see that Jane’s reaction is indeed bizarre and absolutely bloody awful. She thinks she should benefit because Sarah’s dad died. WTAF?? Ditch the holiday and ditch horrible Jane.