AIBU to think there was no need to spend this much time in the disabled loo?

[Pinkstuffs]

I went to a popular family attraction today. There was one disabled toilet with the baby change inside. When I got to it, a woman was going in with a child aged about four, and a portable potty.

I have a catheter so usually use the disabled loo so I can wash my hands before emptying and not touch anything. Sometimes I have to adjust my catheter as well which is easier with more room. I also have a 5 month old baby who needed changing. No baby change at all in the women’s toilet and it was quite cold so I didn’t want to change my baby in the pram.

We waited 20 minutes for the toilet to be free. After that I had to call my husband to bring me the pram as I can’t hold my baby any longer than that as I’m recovering from a major abdominal surgery (not a csection) that I had 3 weeks ago. Presumably the woman heard me on the phone. My husband came and met me and it took another 10 mins for them to be finished.

When she came out she said she had heard me complaining to my husband (tbf I did say it was taking forever for the toilet to become free) and that I was being unfair. But AIBU to think her child could have just gone in a normal cubicle? I’ve got a toddler and I just take him in the women’s with me.

I completely understand how hard it is to watch them struggle and worry about the next one. Yes I remember not going on day trips and very stressful holidays. We’d literally bring 30 knickers for a week and she’d be in the last pair travelling home! Too stressful for them and us! The califig is a sweet syrup of figs and tastes nice in the yoghurt. The hot water was quite effective too, helped break it up. All the best, I hope she gets better soon with it.

I’m disabled and use a wheelchair so I’m often waiting for the disabled loo,

there can be all kinds of reasons as other have said why people might be in there a long time.

my dad had a stoma and his changing the stoma was a pretty solid 15 mins.

if it’s a full on changing places toilet then it’ll have a hoist and full sized bed so that adults can be changed and that is also not a fast procedure.

it is unfortunately the case that if you need to use the disabled loo some disabilities mean people will be in there a long time.

God forbid someone who actually did have a disability needed the toilet the way two able bodied grown women were grappling over their turn with it.

And also this^

You've no way to know if the mum was using the loo appropriately or not. So you need to give her the benefit of the doubt on that front.

Equally there's loads of valid reasons why someone may need to use the loo for that length of time.

The issue really is down to the venue having limited facilities because you've a conflict there where some people would need to use an accessible loo very quickly and others may need more time in the loo when they get there. Neither is wrong but the facilities are lacking.

I have a catheter collection bag I don’t self catheterise. I’m not incontinent I have a bladder injury from an operation.

If I ever thought I was going to be 30 mins plus I would have asked the other person if they wanted to go first. We got to the loo at the same time and she went ahead. No other toilets at the place unfortunately.

We as a society haven’t gotten our heads around the fact that our being able bodied is often a gift loaned to us and one day through age, illness or plain bad luck, the things we once took for granted such as using the generic toilets, may be a past luxury. We all need to kick off for more disabled facilities. Disabled people deserve to not be rushed in a toilet as much as the next disabled person deserves to not have a 30 minute wait. The fault is one token toilet for the disabled. And I know at times when I access them with my son people can’t always see his disability unless they try to talk to him (or can witness his behaviour) so I feel a reet dickhead using the only disabled loo, I worry someone with motility problems might think I’m taking the piss.

Madness really it’s 2026 and disabled toilets are still so poorly distributed. And transport for the disabled, another issue but transport for those with mobility issues is spectacularly shite. More toilets, more inclusion are so necessary.

YABU any one of them can have a hidden disability!

Madness really it’s 2026 and disabled toilets are still so poorly distributed. And transport for the disabled, another issue but transport for those with mobility issues is spectacularly shite. More toilets, more inclusion are so necessary.

I agree, and I think that there is a lack of disabled parking bays as well. There is not enough where I live anyway.

There is rarely more than one disabled loo if you get one at all and it's a nightmare if it includes the baby change also. I once had to wait behind a women with a baby to change and 3 kids to get on the loo.

Kudos to my local M and S that have two

I think it depends on whether the child has a disability or not, which we can't really know without asking the Mum. I think if he does then it's reasonable for them to use the toilet for the amount of time he needed but obviously an issue that the attraction doesn't have any other toilets. If he does not then they should have used the ladies. I have a 6yo who doesn't necessarily look disabled but has two separate conditions that both meant he needed to use the disabled toilet at that sort of age. If we have his wheelchair with us it's pretty obvious but if it's just me and him you probably wouldn't notice.

I used to take my dsis out and about in her wheelchair. She had progressive supernuclear palsy. Sometimes she could take 45 mins on the loo.
its not the other persons fault. It’s the infrastructure (or lack of) that’s at fault.