To ask my SIL to not visit after 6:30 pm on a Sunday evening?

[Goinggreymammy]

SIL is about 4 years younger than us, doesn't have a partner or children. Has a very busy job with lots of out of hours calls, emails etc. She has friends and sometimes sees them or goes hiking on weekends. She lives about 15 mins drive away and we rarely see her. My 3 children are her only nieces/nephews. She doesn't allow us to visit her house (yes, literally says no..... once my son, 7, wanted to use the toilet and she was giving my son and DH a lift home she said no, he couldn't go in, just drove them home. )
Anyway she does her weekly shop in a place near us and every month or so will arrive around 7pm to visit. If I ask if she had a busy day.... no, just some WFH, etc. We just aren't enough to visit without adding us onto her shopping. My kids are older now but they have sports fixtures on Sundats so need showers before bed. And I try to have some downtime, watch a family show together etc, then do stories. So I find the random 7pm visits annoying. She just messaged to say she would call later, when I queried time - yes.. Around 7.
She organised a meal out for PIL, BIL, herself and my DH and I a month ago and it was on a Sunday at 5pm. Why can't she call here at 5pm?
YABU. Suck it up.
YANBU say something.

You sound as if you don't particularly like her (or dislike her) and neither does her own brother. Why don't you stop elevating 'family' simply because of shared genetics? - Chosen family can be just as good, even superior.

answer the door in your pyjamas or a skimpy negligee? "early bedtime on a sunday, soz"

"it's a bit late actually, next Sunday why don't you come and watch Lily at her rugby match in the morning then come over for a roast?"

"Bobby's doing his homework and Kit's in the shower, I know they stay up later now they're getting older but it'd be much better if we met up earlier in the day, shall we do a hike next week? a barbecue?" etc

Where does she find to go shopping on a Sunday evening? And no you’re not BU, you need to spell it out that no, it’s not convenient.

Just read the updates about Scotland being business as usual on Sundays….how lovely. I hate the fact that I can’t go to Tesco's on a Sunday after 4 🫤

Seriously? You've got six days.a week when you can shop there till late, you've got six hours on Sunday when you can shop there. What's so essential about shopping on a Sunday evening?

You're ok. Every relationship is a give & take in some way. Just casually text her early in the week innocently mentioning Sunday evening plans... every week for a month.

I think 'we love seeing you but Sunday evenings are pretty hectic here with showers, school prep etc so can you come on ....day (or just 'another day')' would be fine. I wouldn't use 'doesn't work for us' as it sounds meaner!

I sometimes think my family are too honest and vocal until I read something like this and realise some families won't make simple requests of each other! I just can't get my head around someone coming on here to ponder this with strangers instead of saying 'hey SIL. 7pm is tricky with bedtimes. How about 5? Eat with us?'

I was gonna say! Where are these people that shops are shutting at 4 on a Sunday? Where I am most shops operate normal trading hours on a Sunday.