to ask how to deal with family criticism over sending our child to a private school?

[RunBeforeBreakfast]

If you have sent your children to private school, have you had any negativity about it from others, especially family? If so how have you dealt with it?

Our children currently go to state primary but our oldest will be going to a private secondary school in September. It’s a nice school and we feel it will suit her. Since telling our family, some of them have been really critical of our choice as they don’t agree with private schools. I’ve listened to what they have said and understand their point of view, but ultimately, it’s our choice and I’ve said I don’t want to keep talking about it as the decision has been made. They stopped for a while but last week on the phone and at a meal yesterday they brought it up again, with our children there. They’ve never been interested in our children’s schooling until now.

Shrug, smile, and look blankly at them.

Mine go private and thank god I don’t have family like this. I just wouldn’t see them!

There must have been many times when people have criticised the things you do for your kids, and parenting etc.

If you haven't learned to ignore by now, I doubt you ever will.

In which case there's nothing you can do.

“Fuck off, it’s none of your business”. The end.

You just have to say 'my kids, my choice:.

If they raise it again, tell them you won't be seeing them unless they let it drop.

Honestly…. No. Not here.

And I’m not remotely a perfect parent by any stretch of the imagination!

Not really my family, no and certainly not to this extent.

You don't need to.
I too hate this kind of thing, its of no relevance to anyone else.

If they do keep on look them in the eye and say to them "sorry, can I just stop you there for a sec, can you remind me when it was I asked you for your opinion on the matter"... thats it, that's all you say.

Just say that she’s really looking forward to it and change the subject. Repeat as needed.

If no-one has ever remotely made you feel criticised for doing something differently, I'd say you're fairly unique.

However, it's more likely the OP is in the same position as most of us.

None of their business, unless you are asking them to contribute towards the fees.

"This is getting boring now" and change the subject, grey rock style. They clearly dont worry about being rude to you so why bother being polite to them.

No, definitely not!

But still, if you can't learn to ignore it your only other option is to risk upsetting them by bluntly telling them to stop it.

There aren't many other options available.

Unless you do some work on yourself in terms of examining why you care.

They are entitled to their opinion, I don't agree with private schooling either. To me it is distinct from criticising other parenting choices as it is a whole societal issue, it's not the same as sleep training or letting your 12 year old watch an 18 film.

Having made their point however they now either need to shut up or leave your life.

Tell them to keep their noses out and walk away if they keep it up. If you haven’t asked them to help with the fees it is absolutely none of their business.

I believe private schools should be abolished entirely, but even I think bringing this up in front of your DC is disgusting behaviour.

What did they say in front of her?

your only other option is to risk upsetting them by bluntly telling them to stop it.

so they can judge, criticise and ignore requests not to talk about it but…. God forbid upsetting them but asking them to stop criticising your parenting decisions

in front of dc or not in front of dc - not on

"John, do me a favour will you.. fuck off and never come back."

The end.

It's none of their business and I'd tell them so. I'm not in favour of private schools but I wouldn't criticise someone else's choice like that. It's beyond rude.

no one has criticised my parenting. And I’m not alone on that. Sorry people have been rude and judgemental enough In your world that they have and do

Are you otherwise close to them? Loving supportive and happy family? Or this is just of a number of issues at play?

It’s hard to ignore it when they won’t stop even when I’ve asked them to.

I am on the verge of saying we won’t see them anymore if they don’t stop and can’t accept our choice, but it seems extreme.

I don’t care, I just want them to stop and for normal conversations to resume. Even when we have successfully managed to change the subject, they find a way to steer the conversation back to how terrible private schools are and how our choice is unethical.

They sound…. Horrible

You can either be the bigger person and ignore it, or do like I did for a month or so, every time they criticise, match the level of comment back with a personal insult based on one of their life choices, it soon stops 🤣