Does anyone else prefer doing things just with their Dc?

[Whatwillbecomeofus]

As opposed to with your Dh/dp?

I always sort of look forward to us all being off and weekends and planning days out, but when it comes down to it, it’s quite rare that it goes as well as when it’s just me and Dd
Ive started to plan ‘Girls days’ as a reason for it to be just us. I feel lighter and happier
I’m guessing this isn’t normal, does anyone else feel like this?

Is it just me

What happens when your husband is there

Most of the time it’s quite tense or just not as happy and relaxed

I’m the same and so is my sister , DH is never happy , always bored or tired or itching to get home to watch a match

It's not just you.

I was the same. Much prefer being single.

I love doing things as a family (me, DH and DS). What does your husband do which makes things harder?

I think this is telling you something, OP.

In answer to your question, I would always rather have a day out with DH than with the DC. I chose to marry him because he is kind and thoughtful and makes me laugh every day - we have fun adventures together.

If he was cold or mean to me, chances are the anklebiters with their constant ricocheting off each other, banal conversation and incessant requests for snacks would possibly start looking like a better option. 🧐

Nope, not just you. Mine is a bit attention seeking/draining.

I like a mix. For the last few years, I’ve taken DH away for a long weekend, just the two of us. I really enjoy that time with him solo and we can do whatever he wants without factoring in anyone else.

I enjoy all family days out. But I do find days out with just me and my DD's easier. When there is 1 parent, what I say goes, but when DH is there is seems to be debates about everything. He is a bit of a people pleaser and tries to keep everyone happy, but sometimes thats just not possible and it's good for our girls to learn they need to compromise

I like spending time as a family but I also treasure the time I get to spend alone with DD. We'll go for days out just the two of us in the school holidays when DH is working or even just a walk to the local woods to look for squirrels. I find it's when she relaxes more and talks to me about things that are going on in her life, which isn't always easy with teenagers. We do plenty of family time at the weekends but I feel like it's a different dynamic when it's just the two of us.

Totally agree, one less person's needs to have to consider

I’m with you, makes life much simpler…

I would much rather go out as a family. With DH it shares the responsibility and mental load. I will take DC out by myself but it would never be my preference.

This is so sad how many people don’t want to spend time with their DH’s 😭 mine is my favourite person in the whole wide world. We don’t have kids but when I’m out with other people as much as I love seeing them I’m itching to get back home to see DH!

That’s the difference though. My DS is (now) my favourite person in the world. I would rather spend time with him than anyone else. I love my DH but he’s definitely only my second favourite.

I wonder is this what happens for many couples when they have kids? Does their relationship become less important than the relationships with the children?

i always found my (ex) husband wasn’t happy doing anything that he didn’t like, eg everything that kids like. He basically didn’t want to do playgrounds, or anything that was child focused. But he was a selfish pig. I think a lot of men are.

No, but I have two sons and prefer it when he’s with us

I like a mix. I think, on balance, I prefer the days when it’s the three of us.

I do sometimes find it easier just DD and I to be honest. (And infinitely easier just DH and I - but I thought you were asking whether people preferred a day with kids + partner, or just kids).

DH likes to keep moving, has to talk about the next 3 things whilst you’re still on the way to the first, and doesn’t usually want to linger anywhere or just sit and smell the roses/ get an expensive hot chocolate just because/ go on random detours. He’s great for getting our arses out of bed and getting us out in the morning, making sure we see everything and keeping us on time and on budget! We have fun, but it’s very much organised fun. DD and I quite enjoy a bit of a dilly dally though, so it’s nice when we get to do that just us.

Edit - that said, DH is excellent at playing with DD and doing the park/ playground stuff, so I might be changing my answer because I get bored of playing ‘ice cream shop’ underneath random slides VERY quickly. Worth having him along just for that 😁

I used to do this quite a bit but our marriage wasn’t great. My now ex h used to get in a mood and I used plan stuff without him because we had a nicer time at it was way less stressful for me. That said, it’s not unusual to do this on occasion if your marriage is fine. It can sometimes just be really lovely to spend 1:1 time with your child.

No, I loved it most when it was both of us and our kids, those days are my favourite memories. Why do you prefer your DH not to be there? Is he negative? Selfish? Boring? Do you have different parenting preferences?

I like doing both. The nice thing about doing it alone with one child is there is less compromise. DH will usually want to come home earlier than we would and he might want to go to a different place than we would.

Does he spoil it?