Dh cutting flowers off tree

[Lazydayathome]

Just heard Dh chopping things away in the back garden, assumed was the hedges which do need doing, but it was a beautiful, blossoming tree with pink flowers. It’s the gorgeous one I sit and look at in the evening if I sit outside, I can (well, could) just about see it when sat inside in the dining room, it’s gorgeous and gives off a lovely smell, i’d also put a string of lights around it
Went out to ask what he was doing as branches of flowers tumbling to the ground. He said it’s gardening and has to be done? Is this correct? I don’t know much about gardening tbh, but all I can see is a few flowers left on a spiky sort of tree, when previously it was big and blossoming 😔

Yes, pruning trees and shrubs is often good to do (not in every case though) but oleander should be pruned in late winter or early spring so as to not cut buds off, as they flower all summer into autumn (or from spring if you're in a warmer climate).

Your husband sounds a little pig-headed in this instance.

Nobody should be cutting back trees or hedges at this time of year. Birds are still nesting and fledglings are hiding in any undergrowth. Most people really like to see birds in their gardens, and if they understood, they wouldn’t deliberately do stuff which disturbs them.

Edited as I've just seen it was oleander. Hopefully it will keep flowering, it's pretty hardy.

Did he use gloves? It's super poisonous.

Will we have less birds now? I was really enjoying the last month or so of singing

Oleander doesn't usually survive a British winter, have a look at Weigela which might look the same to AI, but is more an large shrub as opposed to a tree?

Were they nesting in the tree? If they were then he's disturbed the nests and if there were any unfledged chicks in there then the parents might possibly abandon the nests. And if you regularly get nesting birds in the oleander then he's definitely reduced the places they could nest. But we can't say for certain, they might find new places next year, they might not.

OP is not in the UK.

No sane bird will ever nest in oleander.

We’re not in uk, sorry did say previously

Oleander is highly poisonous to wildlife, birds, animals and humans

Well, birds need trees and bushes and undisturbed places to raise their young. It’s unlikely a single tree cut in a single year will make too much difference, but overall garden birds are finding fewer and fewer places to live, and populations are declining alarmingly fast. The fewer spaces available, the more important each one is - so the effect will depend on how important your garden is to them.

Ongoing, yes, cutting back trees, especially at nesting time will decrease the amount of bird activity and birdsong in your garden

What an idiot he is. ‘Gardening’ is working with the plants in your garden, not going ahead and chopping them when THEY ARE FLOWERING.

What a dick.

Does he often spoil things that you enjoy?

I grew a clematis in my mother’s garden. . It bloomed into a magnificent bush full of gorgeous flowers, stunning. . After some strong winds it blew down the metal arch behind it when it started as a little one foot baby. He cut it back so badly it died and never came back. Butcher rather than a ‘gardener’ still upsets me to think of it. Fucker

The getting angry and defensive if you express an opinion is also a red flag.

What’s your relationship like generally?

Assuming oleanders are native to where OP lives, local wildlife will have adapted to use them. Weaver birds are known to nest in oleanders

FFS, hide all the gardening tools and ban him from the garden for life! That tree will not bloom again this year I’m afraid. Fingers crossed that he hasn’t made it look a weird shape with his even weirder ‘gardening’ techniques!

He’s an idiot (wrong time of year) and it might not bloom for several years.

Didn’t know that, but I’ll be avoiding oleander in my garden.

I would too - but I don’t think they’d add much to Yorkshire’s wildlife anyway 😁

I see oleander in London, and keep thinking about the poor bees, but hopefully they have their instinct to guide them.

He's either an idiot or he has done it on purpose to upset you.

He’s a twat

He sounds thick

Three options:

Your husband knows nothing about gardening (and is possibly just a bit stupid).

Your husband is in a bad mood/bored, was looking for something to do and chose poorly.

Your husband did this intentionally to remove something you enjoy.

The last one sounds extreme, but some people are like that. If that's the type of person he is, yes, it's abusive. It's not the type of abuse you can report to the police, but it's a good enough reason to leave a relationship, if you're unhappy.

You shouldn't cut trees at this time of year due to nesting.