Dh cutting flowers off tree

[Lazydayathome]

Just heard Dh chopping things away in the back garden, assumed was the hedges which do need doing, but it was a beautiful, blossoming tree with pink flowers. It’s the gorgeous one I sit and look at in the evening if I sit outside, I can (well, could) just about see it when sat inside in the dining room, it’s gorgeous and gives off a lovely smell, i’d also put a string of lights around it
Went out to ask what he was doing as branches of flowers tumbling to the ground. He said it’s gardening and has to be done? Is this correct? I don’t know much about gardening tbh, but all I can see is a few flowers left on a spiky sort of tree, when previously it was big and blossoming 😔

Can't you just take a photo of the remains of the tree and flowers, don't touch it with bare hands and do not burn it to dispose of the cut branches. Where has he put the bits he cut off.

The “it’s called gardening” comment makes him sound like a dick. It’ll grow back so try not to be too upset. But tell him not to do it again.

The pop some gloves on and at least take a picture of the flowers so people can make sure it's definitely an oleander and possibly give more help. You don't need to give your address or exact location but could you send a picture of the flowers or the tree itself?

And no it won't grow back in 2 weeks if it is an oleander. Also, if it is an oleander then you might actually want to consider not letting the dog near it - every single part of an oleander plant is highly and sometimes fatally poisonous to dogs. Even the flowers.

Ok, will post here, it still has flowers, but hard to explain the difference and how full and wide it was before, flowers everywhere not just at the top

Has taken them to the large bins

I have seen these a lot In Greece, they are very pretty

They’re beautiful, so many in the neighbourhood from peoples gardens-pink, white, darker pink, lovely soft, powdery smell too

No, it won’t grow back it two weeks. Chopping something that’s in flower is idiocy.

If you've been in the house years, this plant is in your garden and they are everywhere where you are surely you know how quickly they grow.

How much has the plant in your garden grown in the time you've been there?
Does it normally grow back the amount he's cut off in two weeks time?

Blimey, this can't be real can it?

Yep, definitely an oleander, definitely very poisonous to human and animals. Should be pruned after flowering in late summer or early autumn,

He gets angry if you have an opinion??
If he was my p/h he'd be gone yesterday. He sounds like a right twat in case you aren't aware of the fact.

Or safely dug up and disposed of

Excuse me?? He hasn’t cut it all off in summer before? So ive no idea. It takes until late spring to get to this point

Yes early autumn I would say is ok

He gets defensive and takes it as criticism

Maybe not, but you have been watching these plants grow for years. Surely you have seen how much bigger (or not) they get in two weeks or two years.

It is most unlikely to grow back in two weeks. Your husband is not a competent gardener. I’d be inclined to take a scissors to his hair on one side only and tell him it will grow back in a fortnight.

He's being ridiculous! I can't think of a single shrub/tree which would grow back 'in two weeks'. It just doesn't happen, no matter where you are located.

Bear with me ladies as I know this may well come across as a really strange comment & is most likely NOT the cause of the pruning but this is my experience.

How old is he? How is his behaviour otherwise? Any changes?
I’m only asking as my mother, in her early 60s, a good decade before a dementia diagnosis, began to prune & chop all her flowering plants & those with berries (holly).
Never the plants that weren’t in bloom.
If it was flowering, the plant got her attention & was brutally pruned.
Her garden was her passion & it was very strange to see her wilfully destroying it. She would really angry if you questioned her decisions.
When she got the diagnosis in her early 70s, the neurologist said it was the start of the changes in her brain that started this obsession . We lost so many beautiful plants that she destroyed.

Your husband is a twat. You never prune anything while it’s flowering; that’s not gardening, it’s butchery.
My DP does similar things, he cut down a baby japonica that I was nurturing, snd I specifically told him to leave that area alone. No, he went mad with the strimmer.
I Feel for you OP.

What a knob he is. I'd be heartbroken, a blossoming tree is one of life's simple pleasures, not least because those blossoms support wildlife.

You would normally cut a tree back in the autumn/winter. He's been a bit stupid and has now gone all defensive

Take over the gardening, so you can have it the way you like it (or if you have a physical disability preventing this, look into getting someone else to do it, either by paying them or swapping, eg a friend into gardening could do that, you could do something else for her). Sounds like your husband really isn't on the same page as you with the garden, so get him to do some other chores instead.

Not this one.

Its poisonous to bees and wildlife.

not in two weeks. I'd require that "you can do it all" in writing and I'd frame it. Do you think he was expecting swooning gratitude?