Dh cutting flowers off tree

[Lazydayathome]

Just heard Dh chopping things away in the back garden, assumed was the hedges which do need doing, but it was a beautiful, blossoming tree with pink flowers. It’s the gorgeous one I sit and look at in the evening if I sit outside, I can (well, could) just about see it when sat inside in the dining room, it’s gorgeous and gives off a lovely smell, i’d also put a string of lights around it
Went out to ask what he was doing as branches of flowers tumbling to the ground. He said it’s gardening and has to be done? Is this correct? I don’t know much about gardening tbh, but all I can see is a few flowers left on a spiky sort of tree, when previously it was big and blossoming 😔

I don’t know when to do it, but just wouldn’t have cut all the beautiful flowers and branches off. Do I really have to wait until next year for it to grow back?
The poor birds too

Sorry, he's an idiot.Anyone knows you don't cut flowers off in full bloom.
Flowers generally need dead heading to encourage new blooms, and it does work.But not trees.
I would be so angry with him.

He probably feels like you are trying to make him feel bad for cutting back a tree that he had no idea that you had an emotional attachment to. It's done now, he can't change that. You've given your opinion you don't think he should have done it, now what? The tree is still cut, sulking about it or giving an opinion on it won't change it. It's one of those things that once done can't be reversed.

Most trees do not need hacking back, bushes and hedges probably do.

Nothing needs cutting back when in flower, and depending on whether it produces fruit or hips it might not even need deadheading until spring.

I agree with pp, he's being spiteful because you enjoyed it.

I would pick up the branches with the flowers and put as many of them in vases round the house as possible. But I doubt that would enhance the atmosphere at home.

Unless you have only just moved into this house the man is an idiot, he should understand how the plants in his own garden work.

But then, I'm not sure why you think the tree will flower again this year. You could both do to read up/watch You-tubes about gardening.

I knew someone who could not cope, for years, with the fact that her husband, otherwise a loving husband, destroyed a favourite bush of hers by pruning it, whilst “gardening“. My own experience is that when someone chopped a few branches off a small tree of mine, entirely unnecessarily and unasked for, I couldn’t tell them how upset I was for months because it just hurt too much.

The man here isn’t in the slightest respect “gardening“. He’s just hacking away for something to do.

I have to admit, however, that once I have cordless secateurs in my hand, the garden does undertake a transformation and there is a lot more space afterwards. It’s hard to stop once you get going. Though, in my defence, what I do is work that I’ve been planning for a long time.

The man here is an uninformed, insensitive idiot.

Depending on the particular bush/tree, there is a lot to be said for pruning immediately after flowering if it’s one that only flowers on old wood. Lots of people make that mistake with lonicera and forsythia, for example.

Sure this isn't a plan to get out of gardening? My dad did this, pulled up mum's new flowers claiming they were weeds - he was banned from gardening going forward, mum was very into her gardening!

No, your blossom tree didn't need cutting at this stage. Not good for it actually. Ah well. Getting angry if you have an opinion is him being an arsehole tho. Does he never take any criticism well?

Weaponised incompetence, next year and forever more when he doesn't want do any gardening he will use this as his justification.

Cutting the flowers off a tree is not called gardening it is called butchering.

Light prunes are usually done at the end of summer/flowering. Heavy prunes are usually done in the dormancy period to prevent shocking the plant as shocking the plant can delay flowering for more than a year.

We heavily pruned a tree too early as a genuine mistake and it took a few years before it bounced back. Some types of tree are more forgiving than others though. Salix (willow) are very forgiving for example, but fruit bearing trees are a bit more finicky.

Totally the wrong time of year. Dp massacred the rose bush in February, but in his defence he was right, and it's flowering beautifully now. It'll be left until it's done, probably October judging by last year. Hacking when it's flowering is bonkers.

The OP hasn’t said that she thinks the tree will flower again this year as far as I can see. She’s asked if she has to wait for next year for it to grow back. It will start growing back straight away. Though it won’t get back to how it was for a long time, probably.

Any adult with half a brain would know that you don't take a bloody chainsaw to a beautiful flowering tree in summer. He's obviously a total prick and he also spoke to you as if you're the village idiot. All round this was a very nasty and senseless thing to do. I feel terribly sorry for the poor tree and you OP.

If my partner did something like this, I’d have gone out and asked him to stop as he was being an idiot and you don’t cut trees in bloom (unless branches are hanging off and presenting a danger). He’d have stopped and said, “oh shit, sorry, I was being an idiot.” Exactly the same as if I’m doing something and fucking it up - we can just say so, and we listen and talk and can have a moan and be upset and no one gets angry.

Why can’t you speak to him? Actually go and say, “You don’t cut trees in bloom, you cut them back after the growing season and only if necessary, you also shouldn’t be cutting at this time of year for the birds. I’m really
upset because you’ve ruined a beautiful tree and there was no reason for you to touch it.”

What would he do if you spoke to him like that, because it sounds a bit like you’re too scared to actually tell him that he has done something wrong and upset you.

It’s not the pruning per se, it’s the reaction, and the nastiness after being caught out being wrong. With this attitude it would be surprising if he’s a nice guy otherwise in his marriage. Hence the fact people are asking. An incident can reveal a lot when you dig deeper.

Is this the first year of having your garden op? Did he know that you enjoyed looking at the cherry blossoms? My exh used to do this sort of thing out of spite and then he’d do it again the following year pretending that he forgot about the discussion we’d had the previous year.

If he’s doing it to upset you then yes, yes it is!

Yes, but not at the minute!! He's thick. There's a time of year to cut trees back.

Gardening is when you look up when that particular plant needs pruning, but dicks who think they're right all the time don't do that sort of sensible thing. Sorry for the loss of your tree.

Tell him he’s nut getting any food for the rest of summer because that’s what he’s just done to the pollinating insects who will have used the tree for nourishment.

what fucking moron sees a flowering tree in all its glory and thinks it needs chopping back? As another poster has said, it’s nesting season. I’d take the clippers off him (before he gets going on the hedges) and threaten divorce if he were mine. I couldn’t share my bed with someone so clueless about nature.

Then gets angry if I have an opinion about it

Here's your problem OP..And it's a BIG problem

Nobody prunes whilst the tree is in flower.
Ask him if it flowers on new growth or old wood? Does he know the difference?

I didn’t think it would, was just grasping at straws really

Yes most trees need to be shaped/pruned. Generally not while flowering though… he’s left it very late. I do this in early spring.

Can you fish out some of the flowers from the bag 'to put in the kitchen' and take a photo of the flowers in a jar/vase?