Dh cutting flowers off tree

[Lazydayathome]

Just heard Dh chopping things away in the back garden, assumed was the hedges which do need doing, but it was a beautiful, blossoming tree with pink flowers. It’s the gorgeous one I sit and look at in the evening if I sit outside, I can (well, could) just about see it when sat inside in the dining room, it’s gorgeous and gives off a lovely smell, i’d also put a string of lights around it
Went out to ask what he was doing as branches of flowers tumbling to the ground. He said it’s gardening and has to be done? Is this correct? I don’t know much about gardening tbh, but all I can see is a few flowers left on a spiky sort of tree, when previously it was big and blossoming 😔

I don’t want him to do anything! Would rather he left it

He is an idiot, you prune when trees/ plants are dormant. He knows nothing about gardening.

So why can’t you have a conversation with him about what he has done?

Are you scared? Does he not listen to you, are you not an equal person in the relationship?

Why would he not Google before just going out and hacking at a tree in full bloom? That's dumb.

If it was a fruit tree, even dumber.

Make sure he isn’t pruning trees and hedges with birds in! They may be there even if you can’t see them.

Suggest you both google the various things in your garden and find out what they need, together.

We’ve been here years, it’s not cherry blossom, sorry just looking up what it is

No I def don’t think was deliberate, but just fucking stupid?!

Exactly! It looks so small now, was so beautiful and gave a lovely shaded area the dog lay under, my lights will look stupid on it now. It still has some flowers at the top, but was wide and full previously

Sounds like he’s massively over pruned. I just remove branches that seem weak/unsightly and those that are too big and heavy (so might snap) or change the shape beyond what I want. Basically just keeping my trees tidy (exception is hazel which if I let it would double in size in a decade due to its sprouts, she gets heavily pruned).

There was no need for him to randomly heavily prune a healthy, flowering tree…in mid summer

I went out and said ‘What are you doing? Don’t cut all the flowers off the tree’ he said in a sort of angry way that it was gardening and it’s what you do

He was literally just cutting branches off, took less than ten minutes

he is both rude and stupid. Sounds like a real keeper, NOT

I’d lay money it’s a lavatera - it will come back if so but don’t imagine you’d get more flowers this year.

Also if you prune wrongly during growing season (ie: now) it can cause tree to throw out loads of mad whippy growth just what you don’t want (looking at you NDN with now enormous crab Apple you refuse to prune in winter)

was it Weigela?

My husband is never allowed to prune unattended!

In this specific case he's being a complete ignorant arsehole with a side order of aggressive defensiveness.

Pretty much 95% of posts have confirmed that. He's utterly in the wrong and has doubled down rather than admit he might have accidentally made a mistake.

You're choosing not to answer questions about whether this is out of character or typical of him, so I don't know what else can be added.

I would be furious. And upset.

Gardening consists of looking after your garden. Which means knowing what you are doing. And most people do gardening because they want their garden to look nice (so don't cut trees when in full blossom) and suit their needs (so wouldn't cut a tree that provides desired shade)

He may well have killed the tree.

You know your DH and your relationship but I would tell him what he has done is not gardening and in future please consult you over your shared garden before he runs amok with his saw and loppers.

If he’s doing it to punish her then how is it NOT abuse?! Good god the abuse apologists are back again!
Also, you are the one to mention SEN not me

Definitely not gardening, gardening is precise actions tailored to help the plant and garden flourish. This is wanton destruction dressed up in some arrogance.

Trees should be pruned when they're dormant (November to January is optimal) and shrubs/bushes usually in autumn or early spring. I wouldn't prune trees or bushes in flower as it is using all it's energy to flower - cut them off and the energy is lost and it will need to dig deep to recover.

He's a total idiot, more so because he isn't listening to you and can't seem to appreciate the beauty and value in what he's destroyed

@Lazydayathome

What colour are the flowers and how tall is it, OP?

Ok so Chat is telling me it’s an oleander. It says it hasn’t done harm and will grow back, but that beautiful width and overhanging and fullness of flowers has gone

My DH is not allowed to do pruning, except under my direction!

The part I wait for to come

well oleander is poisonous so with luck it will get its revenge.