AIBU to ask family to keep vegan takeaway dishes separate?

[TakeawayRow]

Last weekend we got an Indian takeaway with family who were visiting. Everyone chose their food and I ordered it.

Some people decided they wanted to try others food, everyone was ok with that but I asked that people didn’t use the same utensils for the vegan dishes and meat dishes because I’m vegan and didn’t want meat in my food.

I thought this was a normal, fair and easy request but a couple of my family members started saying I was being over the top and asking what I thought would happen if some meat got in my food. I said I didn’t want to eat meat or animal products, even tiny amount, not that I thought anything would happen. They accused me of ruining the evening. I didn’t. I asked them, they caused a fuss, I explained my reasons and then carried on with the night. Everyone else got on with the night but these 2 spent the evening making sarcastic comments towards me and ignoring me at times.

Would you have had an issue with using separate utensils to put some of the vegan food on your plate, would you have seen it as ‘over the top’ or just been courteous and used different utensils with no fuss?

We are seeing this family member again next month. Lucky us. We will likely get a takeaway again and I’m thinking of just saying hands off and no one can try mine. 😬

But if you are that particular about something may have come into contact with meat products then why would you order a takeaway in the first place? Pizza places use the same cutters, veg samosas are fried in same oil as the meat ones etc

Yes there was no need for the guests to stick their forks into the vegan food

Not just Indian takeaways. But as an example do you actually think they have 2 tandoor ovens? So a vegetarian won't get their Nan bread from the same place that chicken Tikka is cooked. Or veg samosas aren't fried in the same oil as meant ones??

And the local pizza place use the same tools to cut pizzas. I found this out when popped in to ask if they had halal meat, the answer was yes but it's still using the same tools to prepare.

The veggie nuggets deep fried at the local chippy goes in same vat as fish

I'm sure there's many more examples

OP has already said her food was from a vegan place. Just this morning I've bought 10 samosas from a vegetarian shop so I can be sure that they haven't been anywhere near meat or fried in the same oil.

And that's fair enough. I hadn't read that before replying to the comment. But on a non vegan / veggie restaurant there's always the risk

I think that’s rude anyway, I’m not vegetarian but I wouldn’t like people getting their sauce in my sauce or putting the fork that had been in their mouth in my food.

I have no idea, but since you do have in-depth knowledge of widespread cross contamination and false advertising in your local restaurants, have you reported them to the relevant authorities? And how do you know the OP’s takeaways are operating on a similar basis?

OP has previously posted that she did just that. Her guests still used their own forks to dig into her food.

OP has confirmed that the meat currries were ordered from a different restaurant. She ordered her vegan food from an exclusively vegan restaurant so there was no cross-contamination prior to her rude guests sticking their own dirty forks in her food.

Reported them for what?? It's not a crime to fry veggie and meat stuff in same oil.

Or to use the same knives..

Btw many restaurants and takeaways have " hired" knives. A number are brought to the place, the same number taken away for sharpening on a rotating basis. You don't get the same knives back again so you'd have no idea what or where they'd been used before

While there is always a risk in some takeaway restaurants in the OP's case she had ordered her own vegan food from a separate vegan takeaway restaurant. She's ordered her guests food from a different restaurant so they could have their meat.

Yes and as I previously bloody replied that was written AFTER the thread I replied to so hadn't seen it at the time

Well maybe you should have bloody well read all the OP's posts. She posted about the separate restaurant last night. It's quite simple. Go the any post of the OP and click on the Read All link. Now you just look like a pompous jerk furiously digging a bigger hole for yourself.

Aubr you should've read all the posts ( or even the last few) then you'd have seen I acknowledged that less than 20 mins ago. Touche

It’s against trading standards and the Food Safety Act to advertise and sell food as vegetarian when it patently isn’t.

I assume knives get washed. Or do they go away dirty and come back dirty?

You’re making a lot of assumptions. I doubt there’s an epidemic of takeaways dipping used utensils willy-nilly.

But even so, you’re missing the point. OP being prepared to take the risk with a takeaway when she can’t know either way is a world away from her guests actively, deliberately reusing utensils used in meat dishes, specifically against her wishes.

Your guests are just feeling guilty, OP, which is why they kept on being snarky.

It's just basic politeness, hygiene and respect for food: you don't use your (saliva-bedecked) fork to taste other people's food; you don't risk contaminating a particular taste (pork in coriander) with a spiced vegetable curry (and more seriously for those affected, introducing allergen traces), and you respect your host's reasonable wishes.

I have already said in a post last night that the vegan food was ordered from a vegan Indian restaurant. I only ever eat from vegan restaurants (occasionally vegetarian/vegan restaurants) if eating out or getting a takeaway.

Thank you. ☺️

Thanks. The majority of vegans and vegetarians I know, only buy from vegetarian and vegan places, probably because of attitudes like the minority in this thread.

And this is the issue. Op hadn’t done this had she? So you are irritated at the op for something another person may have done to you.

op a lot of people don’t like vegans and think it’s a ridiculous and affected thing to do - so you can be as polite as you want but you’ll get people’s ire as they hate it. They aren’t reacting to how you asked or what you said they are reacting to their dislike of the concept.

Ignore the minority. They are just showing themselves up with their ignorance and stupidity.

While I am not vegetarian, we have two vegetarians and two vegans in the family, and when I cater for them I just make the entire meal vegan or vegetarian. It isn't difficult. We all like good food and don't miss the meat if cooking vegan/vegetarian meals.

BTW, there was a discussion a while back about Ottolenghi's confit tandoori chickpeas on here and it got the universal thumbs up and I can wholeheartedly recommend it. Here is the recipe:

https://ottolenghi.co.uk/pages/recipes/confit-tandoori-chickpeas

I use half the amount of oil and less chilli, but it is vegetarian DD's favourite dish and my favourite vegan dish. Just use non dairy yogurt for the accompaniment to make it vegan.

He is very strict. He buys fake leather shoes and belts that cost a bomb from Brighton. He pays 3 x more for fake leather shoes than I pay for leather ones. When we eat out we eat mostly Italian and use same restaurant where they keep utensils and pans for non meat. We have a lot of veggie friends who would not serve him food cooked on pans that have had meat on them. It's really not bother at all. You just get o to the routine. He has his own BBQ too.

I am struck by the entitlement of the other family members, insisting that they get to share food you specifically ordered specifically for yourself. Op wasn't able to share what has been provided for them. I was vegetarian for years and so often I have been at a buffet where people hoover up the vegetarian or gluten free options, whilst also piling their plate up with meat. It is greedy. Keep you meaty mitts off!

Allergies are not a lifestyle choice so you can’t compare

Family should understand and respect your lifestyle choice.
They should care about what matters to you.
Its a piece of piss to use the provided utensils in the way asked .
The only reason to make a fuss about it or refuse to do it is to be a dick.