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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was this neighbour "entitled to say what he wants in his own garden?"

140 replies

MrCollinsandhisboiledpotatoes · Yesterday 13:49

My friend shared a funny story this morning.

Her garden ends in a six foot fence, which backs onto another garden for the house behind her. They are large, very long gardens.

The man of this house, clearly thinking he had found a secluded spot away from his kids, was having a VERY explicit conversation with his wife on the phone, at the end of his garden, right against the fence. He was describing in great detail exactly what he was going to do to her when she returned home from her trip.

Trouble is, friend and her kids were sat right on the other side of the fence. They have a decking area there with chairs, tables, kids toys etc.

She couldn't let this conversation go on in earshot of her kids (3yo and 5yo) so she cheerfully shouted over the fence "very happy for your wife mate, but my kids are two feet away from you!" To which she heard a fumbled "shit, hold on" and then silence.

She reiterated this story to us, we all laughed, and agreed she did the right thing.

Retold story to husband just now who laughed, but said really, she had no right to tell him anything and embarrass him. It's his garden, he can have that conversation if he wants, and she should have moved the kids away until it stopped.

I disagree and think if you're going to live around other people you need to think of other people.

Who's right?
Reasonable - me and my friends
unreasonable - my DH

OP posts:
XenoBitch · Today 19:19

Er, the bloke in this situation went "oh shit", and presumably changed his behaviour after.
So, what is the AIBU?

sprigatito · Today 19:21

Is your husband usually a pointless contrarian?

arggggg · Today 19:33

I think your hue and had a good point. But I assume I am in the minority.

GroovyLobster · Today 19:35

I’ve voted the wrong way and I think many will because if the descriptions!

WhyCantISayFork · Today 19:49

I’m surprised the vote is so high for YABU. I bet none of them would want a graphic sexual conversation detailed in front of their young kids. I mean, he didn’t know they were there, so he wasn’t being unreasonable, but she made him aware and he stopped (normal response). Your DH would have carried on and told his neighbour he can say what he wants in his own garden? Who are you married to?

Dersie · Today 20:00

ByLemonLeader · Yesterday 13:52

Ha ha haaaaa 🤣

Im pretty sure that no one in their right mind wouldn't want any child to overhear their explicit adult themed conversations.
The guy clearly wasnt aware anyone was listening and stopped as soon as he was informed.

AlexStocks · Today 20:02

Men like to shove male responsibility on women. This is a perfect example!

AlexStocks · Today 20:04

Yet she is ALSO in her own yard. Does she and her kids not have the right to freely enjoy their yard? Why is his freedom clearly more important? Especially when he's trying to be secretive?

beeble347 · Today 20:11

FuzzyBumbleeBee · Yesterday 14:01

You'd think you have the right to say anything you want in your own garden but last year Dp was in ours and said oh ffs she's smoking again!
Not directed at the neighbour or shouting at her just in general and she called the police on us! And they turned up!

If he thinks any outdoors conversation is private just because he can't see anyone else he's daft the amount of gossip we overhear in our garden is ridiculous

Edited

And said what to you?? I hate smoking too 😂

Hazzakay · Today 20:18

AlexStocks · Today 20:04

Yet she is ALSO in her own yard. Does she and her kids not have the right to freely enjoy their yard? Why is his freedom clearly more important? Especially when he's trying to be secretive?

His freedom is equally as important as hers. But she is the one who had a problem with her kids overhearing something she didn’t want them to. It’s for her to move her kids away - not seek to restrict what someone else talks about in their own garden.

DaringQuoter · Today 20:32

dairydebris · Yesterday 14:27

I think hes allowed to talk dirty in his own garden.
Shes allowed to warn him he can be heard.
Hes free to choose to carry on or move away.
Shes free to stay there or move away.
Textbook human interaction- everyone was right and no one was wrong.

This!

TessSaysYes · Today 20:45

Your DH is talking rubbish.
Your kids are entitled to be in their garden without exposure to sexuallly explicit conversations.
That man would have prefered 🤣not to be heard, I would imagine, also.
Whats wrong with your DH head???😫
His what's right/wrong radar is way off

Mumtobabyhavoc · Today 20:47

beeble347 · Today 20:11

And said what to you?? I hate smoking too 😂

Must've been a slow day at the police station...

PithyHedgehog · Today 20:47

If he didn’t want his own kids to hear then why should anybody else have to listen to it, he obviously wanted a private conversation with his wife and wasn’t wanting anyone to overhear him too

Mumtobabyhavoc · Today 20:49

XenoBitch · Today 19:19

Er, the bloke in this situation went "oh shit", and presumably changed his behaviour after.
So, what is the AIBU?

That when the interaction was relayed the opinions varied as to whether or not anything should've been said.

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